Your Scam Means Muffin To Us

It’s about 10:30 in the morning and the drive-thru is pretty busy.

Customer: “I’ll have two plain bagels and a corn muffin.”

Me: “Did you want anything on the bagels?”

Customer: “No, but can you slice them?”

Me: “Of course, that’s not a problem. Would you like any drinks today?”

Customer: “No, thank you, just the bagels and muffin.”

Me: “Okay, your total is [total]. Please drive up!”

She comes to the window and decides that she wants to add on another muffin at the window. Fine, this happens, and she has a buy-one-get-one-free coupon. Why she didn’t ask for this at the menu board is beyond me, but it happens. Her total is still the same, anyway. She then gives [Coworker], the employee at the window, all change.

This also happens a lot, but I understand that sometimes you run out of the house without your money or you leave your card at home but you really want your food and drinks.

But then she shorts [Coworker], and this is where it goes downhill.

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re $0.70 short.”

Customer: “I gave you exact change.”

My coworker counts it again and gets the same result as he got previously.

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re short $0.70.”

Customer: “You’re counting it wrong!”

Coworker: “I recounted it and I got the same result.”

Customer: “Well, you’re wrong.”

Coworker: “I’ll count it again.”

Again he counts it and again he gets the same result.

Coworker: “You’re short by $0.70.”

She demands a manager, and I come to the window. She demands that I recount her change. I do. She’s still short. Obviously fuming at this point, she then rummages in her car and bag for more change. Slowly. Very, very slowly.

Then, she decides that she wants cream cheese on her bagels.

At this point, she’s been here for five minutes. I have a line around the building and customers behind her in line honking at her, loudly and consistently. I’m just trying to get her out as soon as possible.

Me: “I can sell you cream cheese on the side, sure.”

Customer: “I need it on the bagels.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we really don’t have the time. You can come inside and wait for it or get it on the side.”

Customer: “I need it on the bagel because I’m late for work!”

All I can think is, “You’re late for work, but you can manage to look through every little spot of your purse to find change?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t do that for you. Your total is [higher total].”

Customer: “But you said it was [total]!”

Me: “Right, but you added on cream cheese.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Well, that costs money.”

Customer: “I have a free muffin, though!”

Me: “Right, but it’s buy one get one free, which means you still have to pay for one. And if you want cream cheese, you have to pay for that, as well.”

She continues to search for more change and as she snipes at me.

Customer: “You know, this is unbelievable.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you added stuff on at the window, and I allowed it even though I’m not supposed to. Paying in all change is okay, but we’ve had to recount everything multiple times because you short-changed us.”

The customer gives me a long, drawn-out sigh. I say nothing.

She glances at me out of the corner of her eyes and then sighs again, louder, crossing her arms for emphasis.

Me: *Monotone* “Your total is [total].”

She heaves a third, even louder sigh, then uncrosses and re-crosses her arms, sticking out her bottom lip in a pout and doing a kind of rocking motion like a toddler adding emphasis to their displeasure.

Finally, slowly, she opens her wallet. She pulls out a $20 bill and then stares at it for a deliberately long time.

Me: “Ma’am, would you like to pay with that?”

She just shakes her head no and continues to stare at the money without doing anything else.

Me: “Ma’am, I am getting sick of your games. Either pay the full amount or leave without anything.”

Customer: “You know, I could call out of work and just sit here.”

Me: “You know, I could call the police and have them tow your car and issue you a ticket.”

Apparently, my tone of voice made it clear that she had crossed a line, because she finally paid the proper amount, took her food, and drove off.

She tried to call in a complaint, but I was the only manager in the building. She was shocked and appalled to find that I had the power and authority to ban her. She tried going on a rant about customer service, but I hung up on her without another word. She hasn’t returned.