(We’re in 11th grade English class, just beginning our unit on Hamlet. It took some time to pass out the books, so many are only half paying attention. The teacher finally gets to begin.)
Teacher: “So the play opens with Horatio speaking to two sentries… Does everyone know what a sentry is?”
Student: *in back* “Yeah! It’s, like, 10 years!”
(It is Black Friday. I’m shopping in the toy department of a store, taking a picture of an action figure that I plan on buying for a friend’s nephew. As I want to make sure the boy doesn’t have it already, I am sending the picture to my friend to check. I do not, nor have I ever worked there.)
Woman #1: *talking loudly* “It’s so busy here today! Sure would be nice if I could figure out where the Avengers figures are!”
Woman #2: “Tell me about it; I can’t find anything!”
(I write them off as overly loud and ignore them while I wait for my friend to text me back.)
Woman #1: “You know, where I work we’re not allowed to even look at our cellphones, let alone talk on one.”
Woman #2: “You’d get fired at my job for using my phone.”
Woman #1: “It’s amazing the things people think they can do on the job these days. It’s ridiculous!”
Woman #2: “I know! They think they can pretend like they’re home and get paid for it.”
(They carried on like this while I waited. Finally, I got a reply text from my friend, grabbed the toy, and walked off. About a minute later, I looked down and realized I was wearing a red fleece the same shade as the staff uniforms, and suddenly everything clicked. They were passive-aggressively trying to get my attention for the better part of five minutes. By the way, if they had turned around, they would have found what they were looking for!)
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(At our china shop, we’re having our biggest sale of the year. This requires me to manually lower the prices on items. I’m dealing with an incredibly rude and snappy customer, who is causing quite a line to build up behind her.)
Customer: “That was supposed to be $4.97, NOT $9.99!”
Me: “I know ma’am, that’s why I’m adjusting the price. See?”
(This continues until the grumpy customer has been completely rung up. She then returns a few minutes later, receipt in hand.)
Customer: “You charged me $10.99 for this plate! The sign outside says $6.97!”
Me: “I’m sorry, the owner keeps marking down prices, and as the lower price wasn’t on your item, I didn’t realize it should have been less. Here, give me your receipt and card and I’ll refund you the difference.”
Customer: “Well, you should know all the prices and be more careful! This place always rips me off!”
Me: “Here’s your receipt. I’ve credited your account. Can I have the next customer, please?”
Customer: *suddenly pleasant tone* “Thank you so much!”
(I help the next customer.)
Customer: “I really appreciate it!” *in a more aggravated tone* “Good luck with the sale!” *even more upset* “Keep smiling!” *yelling on her way out the door* “HAVE A SPARKLING DAY!”
