Inaction Figures

(It is Black Friday. I’m shopping in the toy department of a store, taking a picture of an action figure that I plan on buying for a friend’s nephew. As I want to make sure the boy doesn’t have it already, I am sending the picture to my friend to check. I do not, nor have I ever worked there.)

Woman #1: *talking loudly* “It’s so busy here today! Sure would be nice if I could figure out where the Avengers figures are!”

Woman #2: “Tell me about it; I can’t find anything!”

(I write them off as overly loud and ignore them while I wait for my friend to text me back.)

Woman #1: “You know, where I work we’re not allowed to even look at our cellphones, let alone talk on one.”

Woman #2: “You’d get fired at my job for using my phone.”

Woman #1: “It’s amazing the things people think they can do on the job these days. It’s ridiculous!”

Woman #2: “I know! They think they can pretend like they’re home and get paid for it.”

(They carried on like this while I waited. Finally, I got a reply text from my friend, grabbed the toy, and walked off. About a minute later, I looked down and realized I was wearing a red fleece the same shade as the staff uniforms, and suddenly everything clicked. They were passive-aggressively trying to get my attention for the better part of five minutes. By the way, if they had turned around, they would have found what they were looking for!)

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