Unfiltered Story #147734

, , , | Unfiltered | April 23, 2019

Me: (On the phone) Hello, sporting goods department, can I help you?
Customer: Yeah I was wondering if you guys had a certain jet ski part?
Me: Oh, no I’m sorry, we don’t carry those
Customer: But you can order it for me right?
Me: No, it’s not something this company sells. We can’t get it for you
Customer: Okay, well I’ll just come in and we’ll talk about ordering that part okay?

He hung up before I could explain again that we could not order this part for him

Pee Happens: A Novel

, , , , , , | Right | January 29, 2019

(We are attached to a mall. Our store is the only location outside the mall with a public restroom. Due to this, our bathrooms tend to be every shopper’s first stop. We try to keep it as clean as possible, but on busier days we can only check it once or twice every couple of hours. After one busy weekend day, we were just about to do a clean, when a woman marches over to my coworkers and me.)

Customer: *angrily points* “You! You need to fix the bathroom. I use it all the time and it’s disgusting.”

Me: “I’m sorr–”

(Customer cuts me off by slamming her fist onto the nearest bookshelf.)

Customer: “No! It’s disgusting and you are just lazy and just as disgusting if you think that’s acceptable. You are not getting paid to just stand. You need to work!”

Me: “We are actually just about–”

Customer: “No! It’s gross. You MUST do something! It smelled like pee and there was some on the seat! I can’t believe you allow that to happen.”

Me: “Um, what would you like us to do? Pee happens.”

(With that, she turned bright red, slammed her fists again, and stormed away. My coworkers could not stop laughing. The kicker, the bathroom was not bad at all. Not even toilet paper on the floor.)

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This Child’s Legs Will Carry Them Far

, , , , , , , | Related | January 28, 2019

(I am at work when I receive a phone call from my eight-year-old daughter’s school nurse. My daughter is supposed to attend the after-school program there, but is complaining of a sore throat and a headache. I tell the nurse I will pick her up around 4:00 pm, once I’ve seen all the scheduled clients for the day. When I arrive to pick up my daughter, she is outside playing. I sign her out and we have this conversation while walking to the car.)

Me: “I thought you said your head hurt and your throat hurt?”

Daughter: “They do.”

Me: “Then why were you outside playing?”

Daughter: “Well, my legs don’t hurt.”

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Men Have Been Looking For That Department Forever!

, , , , , | Right | January 15, 2019

(I am at work at a shoe store when a customer walks in. She has a very thick accent.)

Customer: “Do you have clits?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Clits! Clits, you know, for soccer!”

Me: “OH, CLEATS! No, I’m sorry, we don’t sell those.”

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Someone Has To Be The Brains Of This Operation

, , , , , , | Working | January 7, 2019

(I work for a company that hires a lot of temporary workers and always has payroll problems with them, resulting in a lot of late checks. This particular temporary worker has already had their check delayed over a month, and they’ve come to collect it now that it has finally come in. They have a very long and complicated Eastern European last name. My name is Brian.)

Employee: *sighing after finally getting their long-sought-after check* “My name is spelled wrong.”

Me: “Okay. I can send it back for you — and I’m not going to lie, it will probably take payroll even longer to get a new check issued — or you can try and cash it anyway. Considering the number of checks I have cashed with my name spelled, ‘Brain,’ you are probably going to be fine. If not, I’ll keep yelling at payroll until they get everything straightened out for you.”

(Luckily, they got a laugh out of this and, after I checked on them a few days later, everything went fine with depositing their misspelled check.)

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