(I’ve just joined a checkout line and inadvertently placed myself in the center of this altercation.)

Cashier: “Ma’am, I’ve already told you it is store policy to ID everyone attempting to purchase tobacco products. You have no identification and simply stating, ‘This is my card,’ will not allow me to complete this purchase.”

Angry Woman: “Listen here, kid, I’ve shopped here longer than you’ve been alive! How do you treat your elders like this and sleep at night?”

Cashier: “Ma’am I—“

Angry Woman: “DO NOT SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!”

Cashier: “Okay.”

(The cashier then proceeded to turn off the lane-open light and calmly walk away, leaving the woman to scream incoherently until she was removed by security!)

(One summer, I tutor a kid in my neighborhood because he failed his freshman English course and needs to retake it as summer school. One day while we are working, my brother, who is working on his RN at the time, comes downstairs in his scrubs and heads to work. Once he leaves, the kid I am tutoring asks about my brother.)

Me: “Yeah, my brother is studying to be a nurse.”

Kid: “You mean a doctor?”

Me: “No, a nurse.”

Kid: “Wait, men can be nurses?”

(This kid was 14 and genuinely had no idea that men could be nurses. He thought men were doctors and women were nurses. I don’t know if he thought those were just gendered terms for the same profession, or if he genuinely thought that no man would ever stoop to being a nurse, but I found that a little worrying, as did my brother when I told him.)

(There is a farm supply store in my town that allows dogs inside. My dad often takes our dog there to buy dog food, and the ladies at the registers love to pet him and give him treats. One day, I go there to look for a certain product. They don’t have it, so I go to leave, bypassing the registers. My dog stops in front of the doors, refusing to move. I have to drag him out. We get outside, and a cashier runs outside with a treat.)

Cashier: “He didn’t get his treat. That’s probably why he didn’t want to leave.”

(My nana takes me to my doctor for the first time in a couple of years. The doctor is Indian, with an Indian accent and an Indian surname that starts with “Mu.”)

Nana: “Thank you, Dr. Mufasa! Oh…”

(Luckily, the doctor thought it was hilarious, and we joked that she must get that a lot from kids since she’s also a pediatrician.)

(My department manager is known for saying outrageous things. I have a coworker that is very tall — 6’8”.)

Department Manager: “Hey, [Tall Coworker], can you reach that for me?”

Tall Coworker: “Sure.”

Department Manager: “[Tall Coworker] knows I just want him for his body.”