(I work at a pretzel store in a mall. We have tiny pretzel stick things that we sell in a cup. Our sauces are extra. We offer a discount to mall employees. One gentleman, wearing a uniform from a mall store, orders a cup of pretzels without sauce. He pays, gets his discount, and as I am filling his cup, he asks for three sauces.)

Me: “Okay, but that’s an extra for each sauce. Is that okay?”

Customer: “What?! I have never paid for sauce here!”

Me: “Okay, well, let me ask my manager if I can give it to you.”

(My manager is standing five feet away and watching this whole exchange.)

Customer: “Ugh, never mind. Just give me two and I’ll pay for them.”

(He gets his food and sauces, pays, and starts to leave. Then, he turns back and asks:)

Customer: “What’s your name?”

Me: “[My Name].”

Customer: “I’m calling your corporate and reporting this.”

(My manager pulled me aside and said, “I kind of hope he does report you. ‘Yeah, hi, I went to one of your locations and your employee wouldn’t give me free food.'”)

(I’m working the chocolate display case in a candy store when a woman approaches me.)

Customer: “How much are the chocolate pretzels?”

Me: *speaking normally* “Well, they’re sold by weight, but they’re usually around two or three dollars.”

Customer: *angrily* “Well, sorry to bother you!”

(I try to process what just happened while the woman walks over to my coworker.)

Woman: “How much are the chocolate pretzels?”

Coworker: “They’re sold by weight, usually around two or three dollars.”

Woman: “Thank you. I’ll have some!”

(To this day I still don’t understand how I offended her.)

(I’m a manager at a small regional chain of takeout- and delivery-only pizza parlors. I’m manning the till one night as this exchange happens:)

Customer: “Carryout for [Customer].”

Me: “Sure thing. One large three-topping pizza. Sausage, bacon, and black olives.”

Customer: “That’s right.”

(At the till, we sell single cans of pop and bottles of water, with the prices clearly marked. Because pop is in higher demand and we sell a lot of it, our supplier gives us a small discount, and it ends up being two cents cheaper per can versus a bottle of water.)

Me: “Would you like to add any drinks to your order?”

Customer: “Sure, let me have one Coke, one Sprite, and a bottle of water.”

Me: “All right, one large three-topping, two cans of pop, and a water. Your total comes to $19.72.”

(The transaction has been pleasant up until this point. The customer pays and looks at her receipt.)

Customer: “You overcharged me for the water! The bottle of water is more expensive than the cans of pop!”

Me: *trying to keep the mood light-hearted* “I know it’s crazy, but we get a small discount from our supplier for the pop, because we sell so much of it, so we can sell it two cents cheaper versus the water.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me?! That is so wrong! Water is a basic human right, not to mention the healthier choice, and you’re charging me more for it.”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. The markup percentage is the same, so we’re not making any more money on the water than we are the pop.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I’m calling the Better Business Bureau! I don’t think what you are doing here is even legal!”

(The customer stormed out, leaving behind her pizza and drinks, which she’d paid for.)

(I am working at a sandwich restaurant with just one other person, and we have about fifteen customers. I’m having to put veggies on customers’ orders and work the till. I’ve just rung out four customers when I wash my hands and put on gloves to start with veggies.)

Me: *while putting on gloves* “Hi. What veggies can I get on your sandwich?”

Customer #1: “Lettuce, pickle, and mayo.”

Me: “All right. Is that it for you today?”

Customer #1: “LETTUCE, PICKLE, AND MAYO!”

Me: “Yeah, I got that. Is that it for you today?”

Customer #1: “Oh… Yeah, that’s it.”

Me: *moves on to the next customer* “Any lettuce or tomato?”

Customer #2: “Lettuce, tomato, pickles, and mayo, please.”

(I finish both orders and wrap them up. I’ve just taken off my gloves to ring them up.)

Customer #1: “No, she and I are not together; don’t add her to my total!”

Me: *internally facepalms* “Yes, ma’am, I know this.”

Customer #1: “SHE AND I ARE NOT TOGETHER!”

Me: “I KNOW! Your total is $6.54. Your order is in front of you. Hers is off to the side here. So, stop trying to grab both, or I will charge you for hers, too.”

Customer #1: *quietly swipes card*

(I work in a hotel. A female customer has called and told me that there is no hot water. It is two am and I’m by myself. I tell her that I will go and see what I can do and call her back. I take ten minutes to go to the mechanical room and try different things. Nothing works. I then call the engineer and leave a voicemail. When I return to the front desk again, the phone rings. The caller ID shows an outside line, meaning it’s not from a room.)

Me: *hotel greeting*

Caller: *shouting* “Hello! What’s going on?!”

(I’ve never spoken to the engineer before, so I think this is him. But just to make sure…)

Me: “Is this the engineer?”

Caller: “Yes, it is! You never called me!”

Me: *confused* “I just did?”

Caller: “No! You didn’t! Now tell me what’s going on!”

Me: *brain reboot* “There have been multiple complaints about the hot water. I’m by myself and don’t know what to do.”

Caller: *silent*

Me: “Do you have any ideas?”

Caller: *sighs* “I’m not the engineer. I’m a guest staying there! I’m getting married!”

Me: *shocked and angry now* “What the…? You just said—“

Caller: “Never mind that!”

(Unfortunately, I did mind. I don’t like any liars, even if they are customers, so I didn’t help him. There was nothing I could do, anyway, since I was just a clerk. I just told him that the engineer had been called. The caller threatened me with bodily harm and then hung up. The next day, the manager blamed me for the customer being upset about me not calling him back. I guess the female customer from before was the fiancée, but who knows. I left shortly after. How liars find mates is beyond me. I wish the customer all the bad luck in the world for being a dirty, tricky liar, and I hope his pants fall down at his wedding.)