(I work at an ice cream shop in a tourist town that’s busy even during the colder months. As such, we get a lot of people in, some not so bright. We have an extensive menu, and a lot of options, so as far as sundaes go there is a minimum of about 180 possible combinations, not including if a customer asks for multiple toppings. One day, I am training a new coworker, and I come across this one customer…)

Customer: “Can I get a sundae?”

Me: “Okay, would you like that small, medium, or large?”

Customer: “Um, small, I guess.”

Me: “And what toppings would you like on that, or did you just want a plain cup of vanilla ice cream?”

Customer: “I said a sundae.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I need to know what toppings you would like. We have a list of flavors on the menu right next to you.”

Customer: “You know, with the hot fudge and peanuts and whipped cream… You know what? Never mind! I’ll just get a medium cone of vanilla!”

(The customer stormed off and let his friend finish the rest of the order and pay. I’m still not sure how I was supposed to know all of that from just the word “sundae,” but I’m sure with enough experience I’ll learn how to read minds!)

(I am working in a different department than my usual one. It is a busy day, we have stock to put away, and one of the managers wants a few of us to move a few things around within the department. We are all busy working. A customer is shopping with his wife.)

Customer: *sighs, then shouts* “IS ANYONE GOING TO HELP ME?!”

Coworker: “Hi there. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need help finding a shirt to match these pants.”

(All of us stop what we are doing, and for about ten minutes, we help the other coworker find different options to pair with the pants. We probably find about ten different shirts. My coworker takes them up to the customer. The customer stands there going through everything.)

Customer: “No, no, no. Ugh, I guess I could try this one… No, no, no.”

(He picks all of the ones he wants to try and heads to the fitting room. I set him up in there with everything nicely folded on the bench. My manager then comes by and explains to us what he wants us to move and how he wanted us to set it all up. Meanwhile, the customer comes out of the fitting room with one of the shirts and the pants. All of my coworkers walk away and so does the manager. He proceeds to bring the items to the register.)

Me: “Hi there. How did everything go? I see you found something to pair with those pants. Are you ready to go or did you want to look around some more?”

Customer: *in a really rude voice* “I’m ready to go.”

Me: “Perfect.” *rings up all of the items* “It comes to $155; how would you like to pay?”

(The customer slides the chip into the machine while I fold and bag his clothes for him.)

Customer: “You know, I’m absolutely disgusted with the service here… I needed help and had to shout for it, and then you all were just standing around talking while I was trying things on.”

Me: “I’m sorry that you feel that way, sir.”

Customer: “It’s just disgusting. I expect better service from [Store]. You’re getting paid to be here; you should be working, not talking.”

Me: *losing my patience a bit* “Sir, we are just doing our job. There is a lot more to our job description aside from customer service, but all of us spent ten minutes looking for shirts for you to match those pants. We did our best.”

Customer: “I’m so disgusted. If your manager was here, I would love to tell him how you were all just standing around talking.”

Me: “Well, actually, our manager was standing there with us; again, we were discussing what needed to be moved around in the department, which is also in our job description, but if you would like me to call the manager down here, I can get him to explain it to you, as well.”

Customer: “No.”

(The customer gave me a dirty look, ripped the bag from my hand, and walked out of the store. I went into the fitting room to find every single shirt crumpled up in a ball on the floor.)

(This occurs at around 11:30 pm, when it’s just two other people and me working. I’m running the drive-thru register, with the shift leader also wearing a headset. The restaurant has just switched from one set of promotions to another set a few days ago.)

Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Place]! What can I get started for you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like two [old promotion item]s and a large [drink].”

Me: “I’m sorry, but [old promotion item] is no longer being offered; can I interest you in some [new offer items]?”

(I then hear the sound of an engine, and then silence…)

Shift Manager: “Did he really just back out of the drive-thru?”

Me: “Yes, and now we have a ‘car’ waiting on the timer.”

(It is somewhat late on a Saturday and I’m running the drive-thru when, without warning, the soda machine decides that it has had enough and quits dispensing carbonated drinks. None of us are able to reset the machine, or see any faults in the CO2, water, or syrup lines. Furthermore, it is in the middle of a late-night rush with only three people, me included, so none of us can go outside to post a sign, which would likely be ignored anyway. Ding!)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant], but before you place your order, I regret to inform you that our soda machine just went on the fritz. Howe—“

Customer: “Well, how soon will it be back up?!”

Me: “I am not sure, but we still have teas, non-carbonated drinks, and [slush drinks].”

Customer: “I don’t want any of them, and where’s your sign?! I wouldn’t have come here if I knew your soda machine was down!”

Me: “Again, I apolo—“

Customer: “WHERE IS YOUR SIGN?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’ve been unable to po—“

Customer: “Well, then, you can either fix the machine or instruct the other customers in line to move!”

Me: “We are sorry, but we cannot find any fa—“

Customer: “Then tell your other customers to move!”

(I’m about to say something when my manager, who is also wearing a headset, cuts in.)

Manager: “We cannot instruct others to move their cars, sir.”

(I begin to tune out their back and forth while dealing with the cars at the window, tendering them out, passing food, etc., when I hear him finally pulling away. I forget about it for awhile until he makes it up to the windows and starts again.)

Customer: “Listen here! I want you to compensate me for my time that I wasted in line because you can’t fix your f****** machine! Furthermore, I will be calling your head offices about this!”

(I wait until he stops before speaking.)

Me: “First of all, even if we had a sign out there, you would still have had to wait. Furthermore, we are compensating understanding customers by providing a free upgrade to our [slush drink]. In addition, we have done what we could to check for issues, but we have to call our vendor tomorrow morning to figure out the issue. Lastly, please pull ahead, as we have other cars who were more patient and understanding about the situation than you are.”

(I then close the window and do my best to prep the next [slush drink], teas, food bags, etc., to aid my coworkers as best as I can without touching the food itself. As I’m doing this, he is laying on the horn like crazy. My manager finally has enough and opens the window.)

Manager: “Sir, we have done everything we can and you are holding up the line. Please leave!”

Customer: “Well, fine, then! F*** you, too, b****!”

(As he leaves and everything returns to normal, or as normal as can be with the broken-a** soda machine. Eventually, we make it through the rush and my manager starts to laugh.)

Me: “What’s so funny?”

Manager: “Oh, just thinking of how I’d handle that if I were you. You have some of the best patience I know working drive-thru.”

Me: “Well, s*** happens and people b****. I just let them be a baby and let you change their diapers if needed.”

Manager: *laughing* “Well put.”

(I am at work when a coworker with a customer right behind her comes up to me.)

Coworker: “[My Name], this customer said that you put [item we don’t have] away for her yesterday. Where is it?”

Me: “No, it wasn’t me; I wasn’t here yesterday.”

Customer: *yelling at me* “I KNOW IT WAS YOU BECAUSE I WROTE DOWN YOUR NAME!”

Me: “It wasn’t me. I wasn’t here and we sold out on that product last week.”

Customer: “IT WAS YOU! YOU’RE LYING. YOU’VE WASTED MY TIME! YOU SHOULD HAVE REMEMBERED ME!”

Me: “No, honestly, I wasn’t here yesterday and I’ve never seen you before.”

Customer: “WELL, SOMEONE HERE HAS IMPERSONATED YOU THEN! THEY GAVE ME YOUR NAME WHEN I RANG UP YESTERDAY!”

Me: “You rang up? Oh, I think I know what happened. I’ll just check for you.” *picks up the phone and makes a call* “Hello. May I speak to [My Name], please?”  

(After I finish speaking with a coworker from a different location I turn to the customer.)

Me: “It appears that you called [Other Location] store and spoke to [My Name] there; she has your item over there.”

Customer: “I didn’t call [Other Location]! I called here! I got the number from the catalogue; I’ll show you.” *grabs catalogue and points to the number*

Me: “Sorry, but that’s [Other Location], we are [Our Location], the next store down. I can get the item sent here but it will take a few days.”

Customer: “A few days? I have to have it today. How in the h*** am I going to get it now?”

Me: “The only way is to go there yourself. It’s about half an hour away.”

Customer: “What? I have to go there myself just because I got the wrong store?” *storms out*