H2-So Much!

(I’m a manager at a small regional chain of takeout- and delivery-only pizza parlors. I’m manning the till one night as this exchange happens:)

Customer: “Carryout for [Customer].”

Me: “Sure thing. One large three-topping pizza. Sausage, bacon, and black olives.”

Customer: “That’s right.”

(At the till, we sell single cans of pop and bottles of water, with the prices clearly marked. Because pop is in higher demand and we sell a lot of it, our supplier gives us a small discount, and it ends up being two cents cheaper per can versus a bottle of water.)

Me: “Would you like to add any drinks to your order?”

Customer: “Sure, let me have one Coke, one Sprite, and a bottle of water.”

Me: “All right, one large three-topping, two cans of pop, and a water. Your total comes to $19.72.”

(The transaction has been pleasant up until this point. The customer pays and looks at her receipt.)

Customer: “You overcharged me for the water! The bottle of water is more expensive than the cans of pop!”

Me: *trying to keep the mood light-hearted* “I know it’s crazy, but we get a small discount from our supplier for the pop, because we sell so much of it, so we can sell it two cents cheaper versus the water.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me?! That is so wrong! Water is a basic human right, not to mention the healthier choice, and you’re charging me more for it.”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. The markup percentage is the same, so we’re not making any more money on the water than we are the pop.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I’m calling the Better Business Bureau! I don’t think what you are doing here is even legal!”

(The customer stormed out, leaving behind her pizza and drinks, which she’d paid for.)