(My boyfriend and I are at a café waiting for my sister. The waitress comes and gives us menus. We take some minutes to choose and are ready to order.)

Waitress #1: “Hello! Are you ready to order?”

Me: “Yes! I’m interested in a cappuccino, but do you have any plant-based milks available?”

Waitress #1: “Yes, we do; we have soy, almond, and oat milk.”

Me: “Oh, that’s great! We’ll have two cappuccinos with almond milk, a salad, and a [Meal].”

Waitress #1: “Great. I’ll be right back with the drinks.”

(A couple of minutes later she returns with our drinks. We enjoy the coffee and chat. About half an hour later, my sister arrives and joins us. [Waitress #2] takes my sister’s order. We tell her we have already ordered. All seems well. My sister gets her food, even though we ordered about half an hour prior to her. I start to notice that most of the customers who came after us are eating their food already. I go to the register to address the concern.)

Me: “Hey. I’m sorry, but we ordered about an hour ago and still haven’t gotten our food. Unfortunately, I don’t have much time left.”

Waitress #1: “It’s very busy, and there’s a waiting time of about an hour. The cooks are already preparing your meal; it should be out soon. I can tell the cooks to hurry up.”

Me: “Oh, all right. Thank you!”

(I ordered a salad that doesn’t need much preparing time. Later the waitress comes to our table.)

Waitress #1: “So, the kitchen doesn’t have your order. Who took your order?”

Me: *baffled at this point* “You were the one that took our order.”

(She shows me her notebook at a random page.)

Waitress #1: “See? There’s no order! You didn’t order. What did you order?”

Me: “Two cappuccinos, a salad, and a [Meal].”

Waitress #1: “I’ll be right back with your cappuccinos.”

Me: “No, you already brought us our cappuccinos an hour ago. Look: I’d just like to pay for the coffee and leave.”

(Just to be sure, I went to the cashier to pay. I’ve never in my life had a waitress show me her notebook. She never did apologize for that situation. Later I realised I could’ve just left without paying anything, since I “never placed an order.”)

(This previous weekend we held a giant expo and trade fair, where our suppliers offered generous discounts for people who booked reservations or tickets. It was hugely successful. The major condition about it all, however, was that you had to book on those two weekend days, otherwise the prices went back to normal. I am sitting at my desk, four days after the expo, when this occurs. A customer walks in.)

Customer: *yelling* “I want to be served!”

Me: “Welcome! Take a seat! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I want to talk about the Travel Expo.” *pulls out a full colour newspaper ad from previous weekend’s paper* “I want this price to fly to Los Angeles. For two people.”

Me: “Okay! Unfortunately, those prices were for that weekend only. They are no longer being advertised at that price.”

Customer: *yelling* “I KNOW THAT! I CAN READ!”

(The customer pulls out a sandwich and begins to eat it, dropping food all over my desk and the floor.)

Me: “Um… Would you like me to find flights that might suit you better?”

Customer: “Find me good flights!”

(I do a thorough search, and I am not able to match any prices that resemble the amazing deal offered that weekend. I find the best solution, and I offer it to her. In the meantime, she has been reading the fine print on the advertising.)

Me: “So, the price will be [higher price]. This is the closest I can get to the advertised fare that was being shown at the Expo.”

Customer: “That is disgusting! I want this fare!” *points at ad*

Me: “I would love to be able to give you that price, but as you can see, it was for a limited time.”

Customer: *attempts to stare me down while eating and dropping her sandwich all over my desk area* “I want this price.”

Me: “I cannot give you that price, I am afraid. It was last weekend only.”

Customer: *screeching* “I CAN READ THE FINE PRINT!”

Me: “Would you like me to book you the [higher price] flights? As you’re wanting to fly over the Christmas holiday period, these are very good prices.”

Customer: “NO! You disgust me!”

(The customer throws herself out of the chair and stomps out of the store. At this point my boss walks past.)

Boss: “Have you been eating at your desk?”

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], it’s Valentine’s Day!”

Coworker: “Not only that; it’s also my wedding anniversary.”

Me: “Aww, how romantic!”

Coworker: “And it’s my birthday!”

Me: “Wow! Your husband must be planning something really special, eh?”

Coworker: “Nope. I’m pretty sure he forgot.”

Me: *pause* “How could he possibly forget?”

Coworker: “I wonder that every year.”

(A customer comes in complaining that her trunk lid on her car is making noise.)

Me: “Did you recently install a stereo system or speaker box in the car?”

Customer: “Yes, my boyfriend installed a new system.”

Me: “The rattling is probably caused by the vibrations. We sell sound deadener sheets, or you can tighten up all the screws and nuts in the trunk area.”

Customer: *clearly getting mad now* “Well, can’t you just come outside and look at it? It is not the stereo!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Let’s go outside and take a look.”

(We do so.)

Customer: “See? I told you it is rattling.”

Me: *hardly containing my laughter* “Well, ma’am, the rattling is the bass from the stereo box. If you—”

Customer: *interrupting* “NO, NO, NO! It isn’t that. See what happens when I do this…”

(She turns up the stereo and it gets worse. I’m trying to think how I can get out of this.)

Me: “Um, yeah, about that… Best thing I can tell you is… Yeah, I have nothing. Maybe you need to take it by a shop.”

Customer: “Hmph! I will go somewhere else where they know what they are doing!”

(I work at an amusement park. I get promoted to fill in a gap for a team lead that is leaving. Because I get promoted outside of the usual rotation, I’m the only new team lead, and everyone else has had at least a month of training. Today, eight people call in sick, and I’m opening for only the second time. I don’t open perfectly, but all five of the stores for which I’m responsible open on time, and no managers or customers have complained yet. Two of my supervisors pull me over and basically rip apart my opening, telling me it was disorganized, bad, and messy.)

Me: “But it wasn’t terrible, right? I mean, it wasn’t perfect by any means, but all stores opened on time, and it’s only my second time opening. I didn’t even shadow anyone before doing this.”

Supervisor #1: “This is only your second time opening?”

Me: “Yes.”

Supervisor #2: “Oh… Never mind. You did a great job opening, if it’s only your second time!”

(I am speechless. They spent over five minutes telling me how awful my opening was, and neither knew it was only my second time.)

Supervisor #1: “We’ll go over opening procedures after your break so that your openings will be a lot more smooth.”

(I came back from break and my supervisors never showed up again, so it looks like my next opening will be a lot like my second!)