When They Think They’re (Meat)Ballers

Realtors generally make the most money in my town. A realtor couple considered VIP regulars come into our restaurant every Sunday about fifteen minutes before closing.

Realtor: “I want the spaghetti and meatballs but with only one meatball. If there are two meatballs, I will send it back.”

I tell the chef this, and he rolls his eyes.

Chef: “Is that the realtor?”

Me: “Yeah. How did you know?”

Chef: “He always makes either wild or stupid requests like this every visit. He’s just looking for a way to stand out and say, ‘Look at me! I have money and discerning tastes!’ He once asked for a side of two fried chicken breasts with piccata sauce and sent it back saying the breasts tasted like they came from different chickens.”

That realtor got his single meatball, but he still complained that the meatball wasn’t “ball-shaped enough”.