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This Job May Require Telepathy, Part 5

, , , , | Right | May 20, 2022

A young woman and her mother and father walk into the jewelry store where I work.

Woman: “Hi, I was hoping you could help me. My mom had a particular pair of earrings, but she lost one. Do you know if you have the same pair in stock?”

Me: “Do you have the other earring with you?”

Woman: “No.”

Me: “Do you have a photo of the earrings?”

Woman: “No. Why, do you need to see them?”

No, I don’t need to see the earrings. Let me just break out my crystal ball to know what pair of earrings, out of the hundreds in the store, you are hoping we have.

This Job May Require Telepathy, Part 4
This Job May Require Telepathy, Part 3
This Job May Require Telepathy, Part 2
This Job May Require Telepathy

Smart Enough To Steal, Too Dumb To Stay Quiet About It

, , , , , | Right | May 20, 2022

Client: “I am quite disappointed in that print of your photo. I need a refund!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear about your disappointment, but I don’t usually do refunds on prints unless the print was damaged during shipping. Can you tell me what is wrong with yours?”

Client: “Well, when looking closer, it’s all blurry and this big watermark is ugly.”

Me: “Watermark? My prints are signed on a corner, but there are no watermarks.”

Client: “Yes, there is one! It says, ‘[My Name], photographer,’ exactly like the ones on your website!”

It turned out that this “client” downloaded a photo from my website (about 1000 by 670px, with a watermark) and had it printed somewhere online at a far too big scale… and then wanted a refund on it.

My, Aren’t We Feeling Entitled Today?, Part 7

, , , , | Right | May 19, 2022

I work for a municipality. I used to work full-time for [Department #1] for several years, but in the past year and a half, I switched to half of my time in [Department #1] and half of my time in [Department #2]. They needed the help after firing someone right before the health crisis closed everything down and a hiring freeze was put in effect.

There have been a few rifts between the two departments when I have worked in one department and done a small task for the other department, so now I’m trying to keep hard lines between the two.

On this day, Friday, I am in [Department #2] and am currently helping a customer of my own. The door opens and another resident barges in.

Resident: “Where do I pay my bill?”

Me: “You pay your bill across the hall in [Department #1].”

Resident: “She’s on the phone. Is there anyone else in there?”

Me: “I believe she is alone today.”

Resident: “I need to pay my bill! Can you help me?”

Me: “I’m with someone right now. I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait until she is off the phone.”

Resident: “Hrmph!”

She slams the door shut and stomps across the hall. About a minute later, she bursts through the door.

Resident: “Can someone else help me? She’s still on the phone!”

Me: “I’m sorry, she’s by herself, and I’m with someone right now. Unfortunately, you’re going to have to wait until she gets off the phone.”

Resident: “Can’t she just put them on hold? She has a customer waiting! Customers in person should be priority!”

Me: “It sounds like she was on the phone before you walked in. I’m sure she’ll help you as soon as she finishes with the phone call.”

Resident: “But I have a very important phone call to make! I can’t wait for her all day!”

Me: “I understand, but she’s on the phone. She shouldn’t be too long.”

Resident: “Gah!”

She slams the door shut and stomps off again.

I’ve finally finished with my customer. The resident comes barging in again.

Resident: “She’s not even looking at me!”

Me: “Maybe she doesn’t see you? There’s a glare on the window, and if she’s on the phone, she’s probably concentrating on helping the person on the other end of the line.”

Resident: “I don’t understand why she can’t call them back later! I have a very important phone call to make! I can’t stand around!”

Me: “You’re welcome to put the payment through the window or in the drop box.”

Resident: “No! I want a stamped receipt!”

Me: “Okay, then you’re going to have to wait.”

Resident: “I have to make a phone call!”

Me: “The bill isn’t due until Monday. Can you come back then? We are open [hours].”

Resident: “Monday? Fine.” 

She storms out of the building.

My manager emerges from her office at this point.

Manager: “Wow. How rude! Expecting her to put the other customer on hold?”

Me: “I know. I almost expected a ‘Do you know who I am?’ response.”

Manager: “I was going to tell you that you could go help since she was on the phone, but since she was so rude, I was glad you stood your ground.”

I do try to be nice and help people when I can, even if it’s not one of my duties, but I won’t go out of my way if you’re rude.

My, Aren’t We Feeling Entitled Today?, Part 6
My, Aren’t We Feeling Entitled Today?, Part 5
My, Aren’t We Feeling Entitled Today?, Part 4
My, Aren’t We Feeling Entitled Today?, Part 3
My, Aren’t We Feeling Entitled Today?, Part 2

Getting Into This Job Is Way Too Much Work

, , , , | Working | May 19, 2022

I got laid off at my previous job, but fortunately, I found a new one during my last two weeks. I was excited to start a new chapter in my life, until…

Job: “Hey, [My Name]. We need you to start right away, so can you fill out the onboarding paperwork today?”

Me: “Sure. I’ll have it to you tonight.”

Job: “No. We need it today. As in before 5:00 pm.”

Me: “Um, I thought I explained that I’m still working third shift for the next week at my current job. I’m just now driving back from your office after working all night. I’ve been awake for thirty hours so far.”

Job: “That doesn’t matter. You need to get this paperwork to us by close of business today.”

I sighed and stopped to get a coffee to keep me alert for the next couple of hours. Then, I filled out the paperwork, emailed it to them, and finally got precious sleep for a few hours until the phone rang again.

Job: “Just checking to see if you filled out the paperwork.”

Me: “Huh? Yeah? Didn’t you get it?”

Job: “Oh, I didn’t have time to check my email yet. We need you to go to [Site an hour away] for your drug test.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll do it first thing in the morning when I get off work.”

Job: “You need to do it today.”

Me: “No, sir. I’m not doing it today. I already told you I work nights until [date]. I’ve gotten three hours of sleep in the past two days and I’m not risking getting into a wreck. It will be done tomorrow. If that is a problem for you, I can decline the job offer.”

Job: “Well, okay. But we’ll need it by noon tomorrow.”

I did the drug test and final paperwork and thought I was good. But I waited… and waited… and waited…

Job: “Hey, [My Name]. We’re almost done with the background check. We just need your address from when you lived in Massachusetts.”

Me: “I’ve never lived in Massachusetts.”

Job: “Our background check says you have. We require every address you lived at for the past twenty years.”

Me: “I’ve lived in North Carolina since I was seven. I’ve only had two addresses in the past twenty years and they are within ten minutes of each other. In North Carolina.”

Job: “We still need your address in Massachusetts.”

Me: “I don’t have one. I. Never. Lived. There.”

After another couple of days…

Background Check Company: “We got reports from the company that you still haven’t provided your Massachusetts address. Please advise.”

Me: “The advice is I have never lived in Massachusetts. I don’t know how many different times I need to say this.”

By this time, I had seen enough red flags to continue my job search elsewhere. I did eventually finish the onboarding process but quit after a week of orientation because the company tried to bait-and-switch me into a position I didn’t apply for or want. I quickly landed three more job offers back-to-back and took one that paid 25% more. 

But, still… what the heck?

Closing Time Is A Deli-cate Subject

, , , , | Right | May 19, 2022

I work in a grocery store deli. While the store as a whole doesn’t close, there are certain sections that do (deli, meat/seafood, bakery). The hours of those sections are clearly posted, but we all know about certain customers and reading.

On the night in question, I’m the last one closing. The deli section itself has been closed for close to an hour at this point and everything is deep-cleaned. I’m just finishing up some paperwork.

Customer: “I would like a pound of ham.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the deli is closed.”

Customer: “Come on, I’m shopping for someone. They’re waiting in the car right outside.”

Me: “Everything is cleaned off and I have to leave soon. I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.”

Customer: “It won’t take you that long to get my meat and clean up again!”

I wouldn’t budge and the customer left in a huff. I had to file some of the paperwork in a different area of the store. From there, I could see the deli. Right after I got there, I saw the customer come back with a manager and gesture angrily at the empty, clean deli. The manager just shrugged, said something to the customer, and walked off. I made sure to take the long way around leaving the store so the customer didn’t see me.