I am a supervisor in training. I take a phone call: a previous guest had an issue with their package coupons.

Former Guest: “Hello, my name is [Former Guest’s Name], and I’m not happy with my stay.”

Me: “Good morning, Ms. [Former Guest’s Name]. I see you stayed on [date] under the [Family Coupon Package from a third-party site]?”

The guest tells me that’s correct, then proceeds to explain she wanted the couple’s package. Why she didn’t say anything at check-in, I don’t know; they’re the same price, with different coupons, so we would have happily given them the other set, as people book the wrong one all the time. I explain to her there’s not much we can do now, as she paid a third-party site and not us, so there’s no compensation we can offer. Of course, she didn’t like that and quickly got angry.

Former Guest: “Look up my reservation! I stay all the time!”

Me: “I have your reservation, Ms. [Former Guest’s Name]. It is—”

Former Guest: “What do you mean?! How dare you!? Who the f*** do you think you are?! Put your f****** manager on the phone now!”

Me: “I am the supervisor on duty, and I am happy to help you, but—”

Former Guest: “—NO! I don’t want to f****** talk to you anymore! You crazy b****!”

Okay then. I pass her on to my boss, the general manager. After a short conversation, my boss hangs up and calls me into her office.

Me: “What did she say?:

General Manager: *Tired.* “She wants you fired for stalking her.”

Me: “What?!”

General Manager: “She says you obviously have been stalking her because you pulled up the reservation without getting her name.”

Me: “…The first thing she said to me was, ‘Hello, my name is [Former Guest’s Name]’.”

General Manager: *Sighing with all the power of every exhausted hospitality worker ever.* “Yeah, I figured. I had one of these last month too. Keep up the good work.”

That guest never called back, and no compensation was offered, and I (sometimes thankfully) got to keep my job.

Customer: “I have this coupon.”

Me: “That coupon is from another store, ma’am. I can’t honor it here.”

Customer: “But it’s for the same item!”

Me: “Yes, but it’s not a coupon we created, so there’s no way to process it on our system.”

Customer: “But you have to honor it! I drove all the way here!”

Me: “Every customer drove here, ma’am.”

Customer: “But I spend money here!”

Me: “Every customer does that, too.”

Customer: “But I’m here all the time!”

Me: “That doesn’t change the fact that I can’t process another store’s coupon.”

She demands a manager. When she tries the same “I’m here all the time” schtick with him:

Manager: “Ma’am, we don’t take coupons from other companies. Everyone drives and spends money here, and I’ve been in this building for over fifty hours a week for the last four years, and this is the first time I’ve ever seen you.”

Customer: “So what are you saying?!”

Manager: “The answer is ‘no’, ma’am.”

Customer: *Walking out.* “Ugh! You all should have just said that instead of wasting my time!”

I work in the shipping industry as an office professional. During my career, I’ve had several jobs, and one of those was manning the import desk. My job consisted of sending a cargo list to customs, sending notifications to customers expecting cargo, and so on.

Important to know for this story: all shipments can usually be kept track of in three ways: via a booking number (given to the shipper at the time of booking), a container number once your cargo has been loaded into a shipping container, or a bill of loading number (BL number for short, this is the number of the document proving ownership of the cargo). All three are unique numbers, and you need at least one of them to track where your cargo is.

This is a telephone conversation that, unfortunately, happens in some variety several times a week.

Customer: “I am expecting a container from China; can you tell me when it will arrive?” 

Me: “Certainly, sir, can you let me know the booking number or BL number? Or maybe the container number?”

Customer: “No, they didn’t give me that. It’s furniture from Shanghai.”

Me: *Already feeling where this is going.* “I’m sorry, sir, but we need more information to help you. Do you know on which ship it has been loaded?”

Customer: “No, but they told me it is on the way. Can’t you just tell me?” 

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we receive several ships coming from China each week, and each of those carries a few thousand containers. We really do need a booking number, BL number, or container number to help you.”

Customer: “It was sent to me by [seller that we ship dozens of bookings for from several locations each week], does that help?”

Me: *Trying not to scream.* “No, I’m afraid not, sir. Please check with the company that sent you the goods and ask them to provide you with the numbers we requested.” 

Customer: “But why can’t you just look it up?”

Sometimes we had to go through several rounds of this to get the customer to understand that no, we do not just ship only their container separately on a ship, and yes, we do need the booking number to track one booking amongst hundreds of others.

A customer has been wandering around the store, ignoring everything and everyone for almost ten minutes, just staring at her phone. Finally, she comes back to reality and flags me down.

Customer: *Shoving her phone into my face.* “Where’s the sale?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, what sale?”

Customer: “The fall sale! Look!” *Waves her phone.*

Her screen shows an email about a ‘Fall Sale’… from October… two years ago.

Me: “Ma’am, that sale was from before I even worked here. It’s expired.”

Customer: “But I have an email!”

Me: “I can see on your screen that you just typed our store name into your email inbox on your phone. Did you keep scrolling down until you found a sale?”

Customer: “Yes, and I found one! Why won’t you honor it?”

Me: “Because it’s two years old and it expired.”

Customer: “It’s a fall sale, and it’s fall now!”

Me: “There’s been a winter, spring, summer, another fall, another winter, another spring, and another summer between those falls. I can’t help you.”

Customer: “There’s no one here who can help me?”

Me: “We have no time travellers on payroll, ma’am.”

Customer: *Walks away, tutting.*

Client: “Hi, I’m calling about the house listings you emailed to me.”

Me: “Yes, did you like any?”

Client: “I thought I made it clear that I like level floors, [My Name].”

Me: “Yes, you did make that clear. All the houses I sent to you are recent renovations, including new floors that are level.”

Client: “Well, now I know you’re lying, because all these houses are in the mountains!”

Me: “Yes, they would need to be to have the views you asked for.”

Client: “But how can they have level floors if they’re on the side of a mountain!? Really, [My Name], you really should be on top of details like that if you expect to sell houses.”

Me: “Ma’am… do you think that houses on the side of a mountain are sloped at the same angle as the mountain?”

Client: “Of course they are!”

Me: “No, that’s not the case. They’re built into the mountain, so that they’re level.”

Client: “Why would I want to live inside a mountain?!”

Me: “No…”

I managed to convince her to go and see the house that she liked the most. She was impressed with both the level floors and the view (both prerequisites), but didn’t like that the road up to the house was so steep…