I’m a customer deciding on what to get at a supermarket delicatessen. A worker has already approached me asking if she could help and I told her I still needed some time deciding. Another customer storms up to counter.

Customer: “HELLO?! Excuse me!” *Mumbles something*

Deli Worker: “Sorry, what was that, ma’am?”

Customer: *Very loudly* “Where are the delicatessen premade salads?! I have been looking everywhere for them!” 

The deli worker is a tad stunned and points down in front of herself and the customer.

Deli Worker: “They are right here, ma’am.”

The customer turns red and begins to stutter.

Customer: “Oh, they are right here!”

The customer calls over her friend. They order some salads, and as they do, the customer is telling her friend very quietly how the deli worker was trying to embarrass her about the salads being in front of her.

Customer: *Places cash on the counter* “Here! Where the heck is my bag for these?!”

Deli Worker: “Ma’am, you pay up at the checkouts and you can get a bag up there if you like.”

The customer went red-faced and scurried away with her friend.

Related:
How Do I Put This Deli-cately, Part 4
How Do I Put This Deli-cately, Part 3
How Do I Put This Deli-cately, Part 2
How Do I Put This Deli-cately

I work in the copy department of a retail chain. We recently put in a computer for customers to use, for a fee. It has brought us no end of trouble. This particular customer has been on the computer for roughly an hour.

Customer: “Excuse me! I just finished using that machine and it says that it charged me $20! I thought it was free!”

Me: “Um… Well, ma’am, you had to put in a payment card to use it, and pricing is clearly marked above the card reader.”

Customer: “I saw that, but then the computer said it was free!”

Me: “I’m fairly sure it didn’t, ma’am.”

Customer: “It did! When it started up, a little window came up that said I wasn’t being charged for the time!”

Me: “Oh, no, ma’am, that window was letting you know that you weren’t being charged while the computer was booting, so you would know that if the computer took a few minutes it wasn’t going to penalize you for its start-up lag.”

Customer: “THIS IS FALSE ADVERTISEMENT! I demand to see your manager!”

I call the manager, and he tells her exactly the same thing I did, even going so far as to walk over and read off the posted pricing for her.

Customer: “This is an outrage! I could have gone to the library and done this for free!”

Manager: “But you didn’t.”

At this, the customer storms out of the store, vowing to call corporate.

Me: “I hate that computer.”

Related:
Charged With Anger

I work at a popular taco place in a small city in Florida. We sell soft corn, soft flour, and hard shells for our tacos. This exchange happens EVERY DAY without fail. But this particular one lasts a bit longer than normal.

Me: “Would you like soft corn or soft flour?”

Customer: “Soft.”

Me: “Corn or flour?”

Customer: “Soft.”

Me: *Pause* “Corn or flour?”

Customer: “Soft.”

Me: *In slightly slower speech* “Soft CORN or soft FLOUR?”

Customer: *Slower speech* “SOOOFT!”

This continued for a few minutes more until I finally gave up and gave him soft flour.

A friend is visiting for the first time since I’ve adopted a new dog.

Me: “She’s nervous around new people, so she’s going to bark at you for a minute. Just ignore her. Don’t acknowledge her and do not make eye contact. She has a thing about eye contact.”

Friend: “Oh, it’s okay. I’m good with dogs!”

As soon as we enter the house, [Friend] gets down on the ground and reaches their hand out to our dog, all while making direct eye contact and talking to her. The dog is, as expected, going nuts. 

Me: “[Friend], seriously, don’t!”

Friend: “But dogs like this!”

Me: “She doesn’t!”

When I finally convince them to sit on the couch and ignore the dog, it takes all of five minutes for her to settle down and, after some inspection via sniffing, she hops up on the couch next to [Friend] and tries to climb into their lap.

Friend: “What? How did that work? I didn’t do anything!”

Me: “It’s almost like she’s my dog and I know her quirks.”

I’m putting up new sale signs around the store. I’ve taken my apron off but kept my name tag on, as it lets me get done faster. As I’m also wearing my radio and plain black shirt, I look like a manager. A customer drags a coworker over.

Customer: “You! Manager!”

Me: “Sorry, I’m not—”

Customer: “I need to complain about this girl!”

Me: “Ma’am, I—”

Customer: “I was told last week you could hold my things for me! And I came in today and you didn’t have them! This girl lied and said you only hold things until the next business day!”

Me: “Ma’am—”

Customer: “Why would she lie to me?! I was told you could hold it for a week!”

At this point, I’ve given up on trying to tell her I wasn’t a manager.

Me: “Our hold policy is only until the end of the next business day. The only way to hold things for a week is to either do an online order or transfer to another store. If someone did tell you they could hold something that long, they were not informed of our policy.”

Customer: “FINE!”

She storms off. My coworker shakes her head.

Coworker: “Some people. At least [Actual Manager On Duty] didn’t have to deal with it.”