I work at a hardware store, in the paint department. Customers often ask for half-gallons, but we only sell in gallons and quarts. A customer comes up to me asking for a particular color.

Customer: “I’d like a half-gallon of [color] in flat.”

Me: “Sorry, but unfortunately, we don’t carry half-gallons. We sell gallons and quarts.”

Customer: “Oh, all right. Then I’ll take two quarts.”

Me: “I can make that for you if you’d like, but just to let you know, the price of two quarts is only about a dollar less than getting a gallon. I know that doesn’t make sense mathematically, but it’s the way the store prices them.”

Customer: “But I don’t need that much paint.”

Me: “I understand, and I’ll make the two quarts if you like. I’m just letting you know that the gallon is more cost-effective.”

Customer: “I’ll take the two quarts.”

Me: “All right. I’ll have that ready for you in five minutes.”

I enter the order into the system, then go to get the two quarts. I set them up and put the tint into the first can. As the tint starts pouring into the second, the customer comes back to me.

Customer: “Oh, I just noticed that a gallon is only about a dollar more than getting two quarts. I’ll take the gallon, instead.”

I have been working at a home improvement chain for three months when I hear a loud alarm blaring throughout the store. After several minutes, a guy who just walked into the store approaches me.

Customer: “Hey, I have video of what happened.”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: *While waving his phone* “Yeah, you might want to call your manager to see this.”

Me: “Oookay…”

I actually start walking away as I’m still very confused and have no idea what’s going on.

Customer: *Frustrated* “Listen, please. I have a cell phone video of the a**holes who just robbed your store; I even got a shot of their license plates. So either call your manager or I’m just leaving.”

Me: *Confused* “Someone robbed the store?”

Customer: “Holy f***, yes! What the h*** do you think that loud-a** alarm is about?”

Apologizing, I quickly went to get the manager. The customer shared the video and left his contact info in case the police wanted to talk to him.

I work internal IT for a retail company, supporting all users for all of our stores. For security reasons, we are not allowed to know other people’s passwords, and you’re technically not supposed to give your password to anyone else in the company. Apparently, this is something that most users don’t seem to understand. I have variations on this call almost daily; sometimes it feels like it’s hourly.

Me: “Okay, don’t tell me what the password itself is, but how long is it?”

User: “Well, my password is—”

Me: “Don’t tell me your password. Just tell me the character length; is it at least seven characters?”

User: “My password is—”

Me: “Do not tell me your password.”

User: “Oh, I don’t care.”

Me: “I do. Please don’t tell me your password. I just need to make sure that it’s at least seven characters long.”

User: “Well, my password is—”

Me: *Headdesk*

Granted, it’s not like we’re protecting national secrets or anything like that, but you’d think users would understand it’s definitely a CYA thing.

Related:
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 10
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 9
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 8
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 7
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 6

Coffee shops have opened up again after a health-related lockdown. I’m a new mum and surviving on very little sleep. I’m hormonal, emotional, and tired.

I excitedly order my usual drink, try to hold a decent conversation with the cashier whilst half asleep, and move to wait.

My name is called. I say thanks, grab my drink, and take a big gulp… forgetting I’m wearing a mask. Coffee goes all down my dress and into my bra, and I drop my drink in surprise.

I’m bright red and unsure whether to laugh or cry, and the cashier is looking at me in horror. She grabs lots of tissues and comes round the counter, helping me manoeuvre my pram out of the way and clearing up my mess.

I’m apologising over and over, but she shrugs it off and says it’s fine. I manage to blot away the excess and she makes a joke about my dress looking better in brown. It makes me giggle.

They remake my drink, give me a muffin, and even give me a voucher for a free drink next time.

I am so touched I tear up, to which the cashier says, “Don’t cry! You’ll ruin your mascara, too!”

Best coffee shop ever!

I have just had a caller transferred to me from one of our Order Processing phone representatives. The caller is not able to log in to our website.

Me: “Hello, [Caller], this is [My Name]. I understand from [Phone Representative] that you are not able to log in?”

Caller: “Yes. This happens every time that I try to log in; I have to reset the password. So, I reset it again today, and then I couldn’t log in with the new password.”

On our website, after you reset the password, it logs you in, so she would have had to log out and then log back in, so she was clearly testing to make sure the password would work.

Me: “I apologize that the website is not letting you log in. I show that your username is [Caller’s Full Name] with no spaces. Is that the username you are trying to log in with?”

Caller: “No, my username is [email address].”

Me: “I apologize for any confusion. That is the email address we have on record for you, but your username is [Caller’s Full Name]. Can you check and see if you can log in with that username and your password?”

Caller: “No. It doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay, I’m going to resend the password reset email to you and have to try to reset it with me. Let me know when you receive it.”

Caller: “I have it.”

Me: “Now, click the ‘reset password’ link in the email just like you did before, and then type in the new password and click ‘continue’.”

Caller: “Okay, I reset it and I’m in. I’m going to log out and back in again to make sure it works.”

Me: “Okay. Let me know if it works.”

Caller: *Sounding a bit disappointed* “It worked this time. I’m back.”

Me: “I’m glad we were able to get this straightened out for you. Just remember for next time that the username is [Caller’s Full Name].”

The perplexing part of this incident is that in the password reset email, right above the previously mentioned “reset password” link, is a line that says, “Username,” and lists the person’s username.

Related:
The Username Blame Game