(It’s my second day working in a hotel, and I answer a call.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Hotel]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hello. Room 100, Mr. [Guest].”

Me: “Uh, you would like to be transferred?”

Caller: “Yes. [Guest]. Room 100.”

Me: “Okay, just a moment.”

(After checking the computer, I hit the “transfer” button on the phone and type in the room number. But the buttons stick, and it gets transferred to a different room! Horrified, I look for my trainer, but he’s in the bathroom. Not knowing what else to do, I hang up. I figure the caller will call back, and she does.)

Same Caller: *tightly* “[Guest]. Room 100.”

Me: “Yes, I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Let me try again.”

(This time the correct room is rung, and I hang up. When my trainer comes over, I explain what happened.)

Trainer: “Oh, yeah, that phone’s been spilled on, so it sticks. Use this other phone.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(Much later, a man with a scowl beckons my trainer over.)

Guest: “My wife called me and she’s very upset! She said that SHE—” *nods to me* “—rang the wrong room and hung up on her!”

Trainer: “I’m very sorry about that, sir—”

Guest: “She’s very upset! What’re you going to do about it?!”

Trainer: “Again, I apologize. She’s new and—”

Guest: “I don’t care if she’s new! What does that have to do with it?!”

(My trainer apologized again for the mix-up, and I was taken aback that someone could be so mean. After all, I did apologize to the wife. I guess that when he was a newbie at his job, he never made a mistake! The next day, he complained that I didn’t greet him because I was busy with another guest. Some people.)

(We have a lot of customers who just give their first and last name to make a reservation for our hotel. As such, we cannot tell if they are part of our loyalty club. Members of our club get a free cookie.)

Guest: “Hey! I didn’t get my free cookie!”

Me: “Are you a member of our loyalty—”

Guest: *scoffs* “I sure am! Member number [number].”

Me: “Let me check the computer.” *checks* “Sir, when you made the reservation, you only gave your name and not your number.”

Guest: “So?”

Me: “Well, we have no way of knowing whether you are a loyalty club member if you don’t provide your club member number. So—”

Guest: “Well, that’s not my problem. They should’ve asked me when I checked in.”

Me: *resigned* “Yes… they should’ve.”

(Later, I spoke with the person who had checked him in. She said that he interrupted with an, “Okay, thanks,” snatched his keys, and hustled off when she’d asked.)

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(I work front desk at a hotel that sits directly across the street from Lake Tahoe. A guest comes to the desk, very upset.)

Guest: “I’m very angry about my room, and I want a discount right now!”

Me: “Okay, what is the problem with the room? Maybe I can get it fixed for you.”

Guest: “I paid over $200 a night for a lake-view room, and I can’t see the lake right now!”

Me: “It is ten o’clock at night, ma’am. When it’s dark outside, I’m afraid that the lake isn’t visible from your room.”

Guest: “How can that be? I paid a lot of f****** money for this room because of the lake view. I should be able to see the lake 24 hours a day for that price.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but there is nothing I can do. I assure you that you will be able to see the lake in the morning.”

Guest: “Why don’t you just turn the light switch on for the lake? I know you have a switch where you can turn the lights on in the lake and I would be able to see it.”

Me: “I don’t have such a switch; there are no lights in the lake.”

Guest: “Don’t lie to me; I know you can light it up!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am. You’ll have to wait until morning.”

Guest: “I’m going to have you fired for this. I’m calling your manager first thing in the morning!”

(My boss just laughed at her and I still have my job.)

(I’m a customer at a hotel, waiting behind an angry man. It is flu season.)

Man: “We want to check in now!”

Clerk: “I’m deeply sorry, sir, but our rooms are not ready.”

Man: “I’ve been traveling for hours and am tired! Stop being an idiot and give me the room!” *throws ID at her*

Clerk: “I’m sorry, but some of the housekeepers and managers are out sick with the flu, and so we are short-staffed—”

Man: “I don’t care! Check-in time is at two pm, and it’s already past that! Idiot!”

(Feeling sorry for the clerk, who’s NOT at fault for the housekeeping staff, I try to suggest a supervisor, but the man demands to complain to the housekeepers personally about his room. The clerk agrees, and minutes later, some aggressive-looking women with mops and brooms come and make a circle around him. I suspect that the man didn’t really think she’d call them.)

Housekeepers: *quietly but firmly* “Yes, you wanted to see us?”

Man: “I, ah… I’ll just wait here quietly…”

(He didn’t make another peep until his room was ready, which was five minutes later.)

(I am working as a receptionist. One evening my colleague and I observe some unusual behaviour with three or four different gentlemen requesting a specific room number. That’s usually a good indication of having someone making “business” in your hotel. With the last gentleman:)

Gentleman: “Hello, I have a friend in room [same number as previous gentlemen].”

Me: “Certainly, sir, could you please tell me the guest’s name?”

Gentleman: “[Female Name].”

Me: “Thank you, sir, but unfortunately the name I have for that room is different. Would you be able to call that person to ask her to meet you here in the lobby?”

Gentleman: “Sure.”

(The gentleman calls the lady. They are talking on the phone and are three meters apart. I realise they are talking to someone they have never seen before; they soon realise and they go upstairs to her room. After about an hour the gentleman leaves and the lady asks me for a coffee. I serve her coffee and take payment.)

Me: “Madam, I’m sorry, but I need to talk to you in private.”

(I escort her to our office and close the door.)

Me: “Madam, I’m really sorry, but I have reason to believe you are making business in our hotel and we cannot allow it for obvious legal reasons.”

Lady: “Business? What business?”

Me: ”It can be either prostitution or drugs, madam, and we cannot allow it here.”

Lady: “Oh, no, no, no. I would never do anything like that! You are wrong; I’m just a normal guest meeting friends.”

Me: “Meeting friends you don’t even know how they look? A bit unusual.”

Lady: “…”

Me: “Madam, look. You have paid so you have the right to stay here. This is your life and I don’t judge you for your choices. However, if I see any more signs of activity I will be forced to ask you to leave the hotel.”

Lady: “Absolutely. I am not making any kind of business.”

(She goes up to her room. Five minutes later she calls reception:)

Lady: “Hi, we spoke a few minutes ago.”

Me: “Hello.”

Lady: “Can I please just have one last client coming up?”

Me: “No.”

Lady: “What if I give you £20?”

Me: “No.”

Lady: “Oh, okay.”

(The lady left the hotel a few minutes later.)