A guy comes up to my desk and asks for a room. He’s got on a black shirt with a photo of a penis — a big, hairy, veiny one — on it. It is so realistic.

Me: “Um, you can’t walk around with that on. We’ve got kids here.”

Guest: “What’s wrong with it? It’s not real!”

Me: “I know, but some customers might be offended by it.”

Guest: “But it’s not against the law! This is the USA!”

Me: “It’s indecent exposure.”

I call for a manager. I try and try to get him to leave, and he refuses, and my manager comes out. She also agrees and calls the police. Two cops come.

Guest: “I can’t believe this! Aren’t we in America, freedom of expression and all of that? You have to serve me!”

Police: “You may have the right to wear that shirt, but they have the right to make you leave. Businesses are private property, and they can make you leave.”

The cops finally had to strong-arm him out. The guy flipped us off and yelled that we were discriminating against him. I still think I must’ve been on “Candid Camera”! Weirdest encounter I’ve had. Turns out the guy was on a lot of drugs and just had come from a concert.

We have a service elevator that only works with employee cards and does not go to the guest lobby. A big white sign explaining this is on the back wall of the elevator along with two signs on each floor by the buttons.

I enter the elevator and there is a lady sitting in the corner. 

Guest: “I have been sitting in here for so long; this elevator doesn’t work.” 

Me: “This is the service elevator which only works with employee cards. I will take you to this floor.” 

Guest: “Well, it doesn’t say that anywhere.” 

I show her the sign that is right behind her. 

Guest: “The floor I came from doesn’t have any signs saying that.”

Me: “Every floor has been labelled with a sign explaining this.” 

The elevator doors open. 

Me: “Okay, just around the corner there is the guest elevator that one should take you to where you want to go.” 

Guest: “This is stupid. You should make these clearer. What’s your name?” 

Me: *In my head* “Not again.”

Related:
It’s A Very Bad Signs, Part 2
It’s A Very Bad Signs

I work at the front desk at a small hotel in a popular hotel chain. A couple comes in to check in and gives me their last name.

Me: “Perfect. All I need to get from you is an ID and a credit card for incidentals.”

Husband: “Here’s the ID. Can’t you just use the card on file for incidentals?”

Me: “Normally, yes, but since you booked with a third party and prepaid, they have sent us your payment using a one-time virtual credit card, not the card you paid with.”

Husband: “Hmm, okay. Oh, and can you add my honors onto that?”

We have a tiered honors system where guests earn points for every dollar spent at our hotel, but it will only give them points if they book directly with the hotel or on their honors app.

Me: “I can put your number on there, but since you used a third party, it is unlikely that you will receive points because you paid [Third Party] directly and not the hotel.”

Wife: “My husband travels very frequently; he knows what he’s talking about. Just put the number on there and give us the keys.”

Me: “I will certainly put the number on for you. What is the phone number associated with the account?”

Husband: “1-800…”

I laugh slightly and the wife interrupts him.

Wife: “He thinks he’s funny. I have his honors number written down right here.”

She gives me the number and I attach the account. He is one of our top-tier members, meaning he travels very frequently with our chain, which makes it very odd that he booked with a third party.

Me: “Okay, here are your keys. You will be on the third floor today and the elevators are through those doors to the left. Let me know if you need anything!”

They start walking towards the doors and stop where the hallway begins.

Wife: “Which way are the elevators?”

Me: “To your left.”

Wife: “This way?”

She begins walking left.

Wife: “I use north, south, east, and west, not left and right.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

I didn’t even know how to respond to that statement. Next time, I’ll let her know to take a north to get to the elevator!

I am working the evening front desk shift at my hotel and just checked in a very sweet elderly woman. I’m standing at the desk when the phone rings. It is the same woman who I just checked in, calling from her room.

Guest: “Hi, miss, this is [Guest] in 300. Could you come up for a bit?”

Since I am not supposed to leave the front desk unattended, I normally would ask the guest what they need and have them come down to the desk if they could, but since she is on the top floor and we are at a low occupancy, I decide to quickly run up.

Me: *Knocking* “It’s the front desk!”

Guest: “Hi, miss. I’m so sorry to do this; I normally do not complain, but I have a few concerns about the room.”

Me: “Okay! What seems to be the issue?”

Guest: “Well, the bed skirt is not aligned.”

I see that the bed skirt is pulled off slightly. I lift up the mattress to slide it back in place.

Guest: “Thank you. Now, I also noticed I only have one washcloth, and I will need a few more.”

Me: “Okay! I can go grab you come right now!”

Guest: “And it smells like someone has been laying on these pillows. Could you smell them?”

I stand there for a second, not knowing how to respond.

Me: “Um, yes, ma’am. I can do that.”

I smell them. They smell like the rest of our linens, which is a mild soap and fabric smell.

Guest: “What do you think? Does it smell like anyone you know?”

Me: “Not really, ma’am, I just smell our hotel detergent.”

Guest: “Okay, can you replace the pillows, just in case?”

I take the pillows to the nearest housekeeping room, wait a few minutes, and bring them back.

Guest: “Now these are fresh! Thank you!”

I work overnights at a hotel. I mostly do desk auditor duties, but we’ve lost our laundry attendant and a few housekeepers. Our higher-ups told my managers to not hire a new laundry attendant, so I’ve been doing laundry at night.

I start work at 11:00 pm. On this particular night, there is so much laundry to be done and I feel slightly overwhelmed at the sight. I get started, but every five minutes, there’s a ring from our desk bell or a phone call from a guest upstairs. After an hour, I finally give up on trying to do laundry since there’s so much activity at the front desk. 

Then, I get a guest who rings our bell insistently until I arrive. Their key isn’t working, so I recode it and give it to them.

Guest: “I think it’s so rude it took you so long to get here.”

I smile feebly.

Me: “I’m really sorry about that; I was in the back trying to get some laundry folded—” 

Guest: “Seriously, don’t they pay other people to do that?”

Me: “We used to have a laundry attendant, but we don’t right now, so my coworkers and I all do our part to help.”

Guest: “That’s just ridiculous. You’re a desk person so you should only be doing desk duties.”

Me: “Again, I’m really sorry about the wait. I hope the rest of your night goes well.”

The guest took my hint and left in a huff. A couple of days later, a review came in saying that the hotel needed to hire a laundry attendant since it’s unfair for paying guests to “wait so long for the desk person to return.” 

The higher-ups still won’t let us hire a laundry attendant.