Freedom Of Speech Is Not Freedom From Consequences

A guy comes up to my desk and asks for a room. He’s got on a black shirt with a photo of a penis — a big, hairy, veiny one — on it. It is so realistic.

Me: “Um, you can’t walk around with that on. We’ve got kids here.”

Guest: “What’s wrong with it? It’s not real!”

Me: “I know, but some customers might be offended by it.”

Guest: “But it’s not against the law! This is the USA!”

Me: “It’s indecent exposure.”

I call for a manager. I try and try to get him to leave, and he refuses, and my manager comes out. She also agrees and calls the police. Two cops come.

Guest: “I can’t believe this! Aren’t we in America, freedom of expression and all of that? You have to serve me!”

Police: “You may have the right to wear that shirt, but they have the right to make you leave. Businesses are private property, and they can make you leave.”

The cops finally had to strong-arm him out. The guy flipped us off and yelled that we were discriminating against him. I still think I must’ve been on “Candid Camera”! Weirdest encounter I’ve had. Turns out the guy was on a lot of drugs and just had come from a concert.