I work in a small motel in a country town. Due to a festival going on, all accommodation within fifty kilometres is booked out. While I’m usually a housekeeper, I’m also trained as a receptionist. Due to the owner having a family emergency, I’m working the front desk when everyone is trying to check in.

My boss has told me not to take crap from anyone. If they’re rude or abusive, get them to leave and don’t be afraid to call the cops.

I’m checking in a guest with another four waiting when what looks to be a brand-new, $50,000 car parks in the driveway, blocking people entering or leaving. A guy in his thirties in an expensive suit walks in and scowls at the wait.

I am talking to the guest I’m checking in.

Me: “Excuse me for a moment.”

She nods as she’s filling out the registration form, so I turn to Suit Guy.

Me: “Sir, you need to move your car.”

Suit Guy: “Just hurry the f*** up and check me in.”

Me: “Sir, I won’t be doing anything for you until you move your car. You’re blocking the driveway.”

Suit Guy: “B****, just do your job and check me in. I don’t have time for this s***.”

Me: “Sir, you need to watch your language. Now either move your car or I’ll have the police move it.”

He goes bright red but stomps out, slamming the door as he leaves. I finish checking in the current guest, and I have just called up the next, an elderly lady, when he storms back and pushes the lady out of the way.

Suit Guy: “Now check me in.”

He throws his credit card and ID at me. I take a nice look at his ID so I know who he is, and then I hold them back out to him.

Me: “You have two options. Either you apologise to me and these nice people waiting and wait your turn, or leave.”

Suit Guy: “Listen here, you little s***. Check me in right now or you’ll be sorry. You have no idea who I am. I’ll ruin you.”

As he’s saying this, I pick up the phone and start calling the police.

Me: “Hi, it’s [My Name] at [Motel]. I’ve got a guy here that’s been rude and has assaulted a guest.”

The suit guy goes white and runs out. I tell the police he’s left so it’s not an emergency, but I’d like to make a report. I apologise to the guests. I finally get everyone checked in and the cops turn up. The lady the guy pushed doesn’t want to report it, but I make a report and the police tell me to call them if he comes back.

I’ve already resold his room and informed my boss as to what’s happened when he comes back three hours later.

Suit Guy: “Now, are you going to stop being a b**** and check me in, or are we going to have a problem?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re fully booked. You need to leave immediately.”

Suit Guy: “Look here, you little s***. I booked this room months ago. Now, do your f****** job and check me in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but when you assaulted another guest and verbally abused me, your reservation was cancelled and the room resold. The police have already taken a report, so unless you want to be arrested, I suggest you leave. Oh, and good luck getting a room close by.”

I pick up the phone and call the cops while he starts yelling.

Suit Guy: “YOU LITTLE B****! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! I’VE BOOKED A ROOM AND DONE NOTHING WRONG! GIVE ME MY F****** KEYS NOW!”

I ignore him as I speak into the phone.

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] at [Motel]. As you can hear, the guy is back.”

Suit Guy: “You’ve got no proof I’ve done anything wrong. I’ll have you fired and sue you and this s***hole for this. Who do you think people will believe? Some stupid little s*** or me, a guy who’s got more money than you can dream of?!”

I’m told that officers are on their way and hang up.

Me: “Well, considering those two security cameras record sound as well as video, I’m pretty sure it’ll be me.”

I spot the police car pulling up; it’s a small town with the station about 400 metres away.

Me: “Now, I think these gentlemen would like a word with you.”

He was twice the alcohol limit for driving — cameras showed him driving as he’d once again parked in the driveway — and had drugs in his system. He was also charged with assaulting the lady and arrested accordingly!

This story is part of our Best Of December 2020 roundup!

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I had a fairly late call from security letting me know of a guest they busted smoking in the stairwell. This is a 300-room hotel with ten stories. The guest had been found actively smoking a cigarette on the third-floor landing of the fire escape. There were pictures documenting the incident, and the entire stairway smelled of smoke. The guest owned up to it but wanted to speak with a manager first thing in the morning.

After some review, I found that the guest was with a conference connected to a disorder that caused massive allergies. It was mostly young families trying to cope with and drive research for a cure. Mostly kids are affected, and they literally have to eat special food through a tube because they are so allergic to literally everything.

The guest decided that it was too cold — fifty degrees Fahrenheit — to bother following the state law of smoking outside and smoked in the stairway. So much for the sick kids they put at risk. 

I confronted the guest in the morning and asked why they would put so many families at risk as well as break state law, and the response I got was that the guest smoking in the stairwell causing a fire risk and allergy issue was a retired firefighter and police officer.

When confronted with the danger he put the entire hotel and the very sick families in, his excuse was that he wasn’t affecting his wife who had the illness. The guest proceeded to spit-scream in my face that I wasn’t a firefighter and he was, and therefore, he should be able to smoke where he pleased.

Funnily enough, he changed his tone after I explained the issues and danger to the organizer of the conference.

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I work at a small hotel on a popular tourist island. After the boats leave for the day, there is no other way to leave the island, and there is no other choice but to stay in a hotel or sleep outside.

This guest is someone who has missed the boat and is desperate for a room. We oblige, though because it is late, this involves calling in housekeepers who are off the clock. It is important to note that normally we are an expensive hotel, but the walk-in rate this time of year is 50% off.

It is about ten minutes after the guest has checked in.

Guest: “Excuse me, I have an issue with my room.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am. Could you tell me what the problem is so I can help resolve it?”

The guest slams the hot water knob for the bathroom sink onto the counter.

Guest: “I am appalled by your establishment. My son went to use the hot water in the bathroom, and the knob fell right off! I paid a lot of money to be here, and this is unacceptable! I NEED TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER THIS INSTANT!”

I know for a fact that this can’t be true, as I had helped the housekeeper get the room ready, and the knob itself looks like it was ripped forcefully from the base it attaches to. But we have been taught to never question a guest. My manager does not live on the island, so I get ready to fill out the appropriate forms myself.

Me: “I’m so sorry that this happened. Unfortunately, there is not a manager on property right now. However, if I can have you fill out this form, I will make sure you are not charged for the damage, and I will either call maint—”

The guest interrupts before I can give her the options.

Guest: “I know it wasn’t our fault. How dare you accuse me of that?! I can’t believe the service here! I am an important guest here! You need to do something about your behavior! Let me speak to a manager! You don’t deserve to work here!”

I am starting to lose my patience.

Me: “As I said, I’m sorry about the issue you are experiencing, but there is no manager here right now. I will let him know you would like to speak to him tomorrow. Now, I can call maintenance to fix your sink, or I can call someone to clean another room so you can move. What would you like to do?”

Guest: *Starting to yell* “I am an important guest! I don’t deserve this treatment! It’s late and we are tired. Those would take too long. You are forcing us to wash our hands in cold water like dogs!”

Me: *Taken aback* “May I suggest that, if the water is an issue but you don’t want us to fix it tonight, that you use the sink in the kitchenette next to the bathroom?”

The guest shrieks angrily and throws the faucet handle on the floor.

Guest: “I refuse! We will have to use cold water and it is all your fault! I will be back tomorrow to talk to your manager! I’ll have your job! I demand you give me the room for free for this treatment! This is not how you treat VIP guests!”

I am just done with this situation entirely.

Me: “I will see what can be done. Here is my manager’s card.”

The guest takes the card and storms off, still shrieking. I send an email detailing the entire situation to my manager, and the rest of my shift passes uneventfully. The next day, when I come into work, my manager asks to speak to me.

Manager: “I just wanted to let you know you don’t have to worry about the guest from last night.”

Me: “What ended up happening?”

Manager: “The guest told me you were rude and swore and refused to give her a room, and then, once she got one, it was trashed and you wouldn’t do anything. But I know you, and from the report you gave me and the housekeeper’s account, you did nothing wrong. When she checked out, I told her that we wouldn’t be giving her a discount for that, and she ran out screaming that we rob innocent people who just want a place to sleep.”

It turns out that she didn’t want to pay for a room after missing the last ferry boat, and didn’t want to pay for her mistake. I’m just glad that, for once, my manager stood behind me instead of the guest! The things people do…

Christmas is always a busy time for hotels. My particular hotel has a package deal where all food is included and the guests only have to pay for their drinks. I am manning the till in the cafe when a young-looking guest approaches.

Guest: “Hi, I’m sitting round the corner; can I order a beer?”

Me: “Absolutely, do you have ID?”

Guest: “Yeah, can I get a beer and a vodka and Coke?”

I don’t make an immediate move to put anything in the till.

Me: “May I see your ID first?”

Guest: “Yeah, I’m just around the corner.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t put anything in the till until you show me your ID.”

Guest: “Oh, right.”

The guest hands me some ID. I checks the age and see that he is, indeed, of legal drinking age.

Me: “Thank you. One beer and one vodka and Coke; I’ll bring those round for you. Thank you.”

My colleague approaches me as he leaves.

Colleague: “How old was he?”

Me: “Nineteen. I don’t get why he didn’t give me his ID in the first place?”

We only have very few guests at the hotel due to health restrictions. I’m manning the front desk during the afternoon and am completely alone in the hotel, save for the few guests we have. I made my rounds through all corridors and rooms earlier in the day, before checking in the only three guests we have for that night: just three businessmen in three rooms, all next to each other.

A little while after checking in, they all come back downstairs. They have a little dog with them. I’m a little puzzled, because I didn’t see them come in with the dog — hidden in a bag? — or I would have told them about the pet fee we charge. As I have someone else on the phone, I decide to address it when they come back.

Once I’m done with the phone call, I decide to do another round and double-check that all windows and doors to the outside are closed. In the corridor directly in front of our guests’ rooms, I very nearly step into feces. I’d say the dog really needed to go and they noticed too late. It is spread through a quarter of the corridor, ending just before the staircase.

Of course, I get to clean it up. Yay!

About an hour later, the three of them come back. Wherever they were, they are definitely drunk now.

Me: “Welcome back!”

Guest #1: “Good evening!”

[Guest #2] waves at me, pretty obviously drunk. He is carrying the little dog, badly hidden in his jacket.

Me: “Um… excuse me, sir? We charge a fee of 15€ per night, per pet. Which of your rooms would you like me to charge the fee to?”

Guest #2: “Oh! But he is so small! That’s so much money for such a little dog! Come on, you look like such a nice girl!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I really can’t do that. It’s our policy.”

Guest #2: “Please, please! Look how small he is! He never makes any trouble! No dirt, nothing!”

Me: “Sir, with all due respect, I just spent half an hour cleaning feces out of the carpet in the corridor in front of your rooms. I could add an extra cleaning fee for that. I’m doing my best to be accommodating. Which room would you like me to charge the pet fee to?”

Guest #1: “But he’s so small! Look at him! It couldn’t have been that bad—”

[Guest #3] sighs and starts pushing the other two towards the elevator.

Guest #3: “I’ll take care of it.” *To me* “I’m so sorry; they are very drunk. I’ll be right back!”

I have no idea how to translate drunken slurring into English. But [Guest #2] kept whining at me like a little child and [Guest #1] was nearly yelling at me. [Guest #3] came back shortly and paid the pet fee immediately. He apologized again. The poor guy was obviously very embarrassed by his colleagues.

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In All This We Feel Sorry For The Dog