(In our state, some drivers are asked to retake the driving test if they have certain medical conditions that may affect their ability to operate a motor vehicle. I am one of the examiners who does the driving test portion, but we have nothing to do with the medical portion, and we can’t ask about it. Sometimes customers tell you what happened to them. This is what one lady says in the middle of her test:)

Customer: “Yeah, I have to take this test because one day I was driving and my arms went numb.”

Me: “…”

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(I’m in second grade when the 2009 H1N1 flu virus breaks out. My friend’s mother tells this story. Her daughter is in first grade at the time of the outbreak. Her mother decides to bring hand sanitizer for her class. She approaches a receptionist at the front office, and this conversation happens.)

Friend’s Mom: “Am I allowed to bring in hand sanitizer for my daughter’s classroom?”

Receptionist: “Sorry, we cannot allow this. It has alcohol in it and the children could accidentally drink it.”

(The next week, there was an announcement in the weekly flyer saying that hand sanitizer was required for all classrooms!)

(I have pretty mild Tourette’s syndrome, with my only real vocal tics being a wheeze, a cough, or consistent sniffling. Most people understand once it’s explained to them. I’m at the gym, working on the arc trainer, and my Tourette’s is having a bad day, so I’m making all manner of noises. Next to me are two ladies. I have my headphones on, so I’m pretty oblivious to the goings-on around me, when suddenly I’m being tapped on the arm. I take my headphones off and look over to see one of the ladies standing by the machine I’m on.)

Lady: “Excuse me, but you should be wearing a mask if you’re sick.”

Me: “Huh? I’m not sick. I feel fine, but thanks?”

Lady: “You’re coughing and wheezing and sniffling. You must have a cold or the flu. You shouldn’t even be here, but if you’re going to be, you need a mask!”

Me: “Oh! I’m sorry; I actually have Tourette’s. I’m not sick; those are just my tics.”

Lady: “If you’re sick, you should wear a mask.”

Me: “But I’m not sick. I just told you. I have Tourette’s. It’s a neurological thing. I’m not physically ill.”

Lady: “I’m a nurse! I know what Tourette’s is, and you should be wearing a mask!”

(At this point, I’m more annoyed by the fact this lady is interrupting my workout than her insistence she knows more about my health than I do.)

Me: “If you know what Tourette’s is, then you know a mask wouldn’t do any good. I am not sick. I’m sorry if the tics caused some confusion.”

Lady: “You should be wearing a mask if you’re going to be sick here! I’m going to complain to the front desk!”

Me: “But I’m not sick. And really, if you’re worried about germs, is this really the place for you to be?”

Lady: *after a moment of silence* “You should have a mask.”

(She and her friend then moved down to the end of the row of cardio machines and went back to their workout, and I went back to mine. They kept shooting me dirty looks throughout. The worst part is my Tourette’s gets worse when attention is drawn to it, as I get very self-conscious and nervous. So, thanks. Nice job breaking it, lady.)

(I’m a front-end supervisor at a high-volume store. I notice one day that my manager has scheduled me to close the front end and open the next day.)

Me: “Hey, I saw the schedule and I noticed that I only have eight hours between shifts. I know that it’s legal, but I live 45 minutes away and there is no way I can fall asleep right when I get home. Can this be changed?”

Boss: “Okay, so, here’s a secret that I learned. What you do is take a capsule of Zzzquil, then open a bottle of wine. Do not stop drinking the wine, and you will fall asleep.”

(I didn’t take that advice.)

(During college I work at the associated daycare centre. Due to a genetic disorder, my right eye is puffy and closed. At the end of fall semester my freshman year, it is decided I need to have the eye removed. I have the surgery during the three-week term during January. I start working again spring semester. A child is sitting in my lap while I read to him. A second child comes and stands in front of me.)

Child: “Did your eyeball fall out?”

(I am shocked and have to frantically find an answer that will be accepted by him while not freaking him out.)

Me: “Um, no, the doctors decided that to make me better they needed to take it out.”

Child: “Okay.”

(I love the honesty of children, and how much they want to learn about the world around them. I do not like when parents shush them, because it teaches them it is not okay to politely ask questions of people.)