(The theme park in my town has paired up with the fast food ice cream shop where I work. Employees of the theme park get a buy-one-get-one-free deal on [popular, expensive ice cream treats]. Many people use this discount all the time, and I have never had a problem with it until this customer.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Fast Food Restaurant]. Can I take your order?”

Customer: “Yeah, I work for [Theme Park]. I would like the BOGO [ice cream treat].”

Me: “Okay! What flavors would you like?”

Customer: “Uh, what flavors do you have?”

Me: *internally groaning because we have many, MANY flavors* “The list of all our [ice cream treats] should be on your menu on the right-hand side.”

(Silence.)

Me: “Or I could list them for you.”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

Me: “All right. Well, we have Oreo, Reese’s—“ *proceeds to name as many flavors as I can recall off the top of my head, listing at least twenty*

Customer: “Okay, well, I’ll have Oreo.”

(Internally groaning again, because that was the first flavor I listed.)

Me: “Can do! Would you like both [ice cream treats] to be Oreo?”

Customer: “Oh, well, I only want one.”

Me: *practically banging my head against a wall* “Well, the discount for [Theme Park] employees is BOGO, or buy one get one free, which means you get two. You could always eat one now and save one for later.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I only want one.”

Me: “All right, well, what size?”

Customer: “What sizes do you have?”

Me: “Mini, small, medium, large, and extra large.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll take a small.”

Me: “All right. That will be $3.41. Pull up to the window, please.”

(I went on break after that.)

(It is somewhat late on a Saturday and I’m running the drive-thru when, without warning, the soda machine decides that it has had enough and quits dispensing carbonated drinks. None of us are able to reset the machine, or see any faults in the CO2, water, or syrup lines. Furthermore, it is in the middle of a late-night rush with only three people, me included, so none of us can go outside to post a sign, which would likely be ignored anyway. Ding!)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant], but before you place your order, I regret to inform you that our soda machine just went on the fritz. Howe—“

Customer: “Well, how soon will it be back up?!”

Me: “I am not sure, but we still have teas, non-carbonated drinks, and [slush drinks].”

Customer: “I don’t want any of them, and where’s your sign?! I wouldn’t have come here if I knew your soda machine was down!”

Me: “Again, I apolo—“

Customer: “WHERE IS YOUR SIGN?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’ve been unable to po—“

Customer: “Well, then, you can either fix the machine or instruct the other customers in line to move!”

Me: “We are sorry, but we cannot find any fa—“

Customer: “Then tell your other customers to move!”

(I’m about to say something when my manager, who is also wearing a headset, cuts in.)

Manager: “We cannot instruct others to move their cars, sir.”

(I begin to tune out their back and forth while dealing with the cars at the window, tendering them out, passing food, etc., when I hear him finally pulling away. I forget about it for awhile until he makes it up to the windows and starts again.)

Customer: “Listen here! I want you to compensate me for my time that I wasted in line because you can’t fix your f****** machine! Furthermore, I will be calling your head offices about this!”

(I wait until he stops before speaking.)

Me: “First of all, even if we had a sign out there, you would still have had to wait. Furthermore, we are compensating understanding customers by providing a free upgrade to our [slush drink]. In addition, we have done what we could to check for issues, but we have to call our vendor tomorrow morning to figure out the issue. Lastly, please pull ahead, as we have other cars who were more patient and understanding about the situation than you are.”

(I then close the window and do my best to prep the next [slush drink], teas, food bags, etc., to aid my coworkers as best as I can without touching the food itself. As I’m doing this, he is laying on the horn like crazy. My manager finally has enough and opens the window.)

Manager: “Sir, we have done everything we can and you are holding up the line. Please leave!”

Customer: “Well, fine, then! F*** you, too, b****!”

(As he leaves and everything returns to normal, or as normal as can be with the broken-a** soda machine. Eventually, we make it through the rush and my manager starts to laugh.)

Me: “What’s so funny?”

Manager: “Oh, just thinking of how I’d handle that if I were you. You have some of the best patience I know working drive-thru.”

Me: “Well, s*** happens and people b****. I just let them be a baby and let you change their diapers if needed.”

Manager: *laughing* “Well put.”

(It’s the day after Donald Trump has won the presidential election. I am working the drive-thru at my former job as a cashier for a popular fast food chain. A woman orders a Diet Coke and drives up to the window.)

Me: *taking her credit card* “Hello! How are you?”

Customer: “How am I?! Donald Trump is president! I’m a Democrat. That’s how I am.”

Me: *stunned, handing her back her card and drink after I swipe* “Okay! Have a great day, ma’am!”

Customer: *rolls her eyes and speeds off*

Me: *to coworker* “Did you hear me ask her political views?”

(A woman has stood a little off the registers staring at the menu boards. We’ve just left her to decide, assuming she will step forward when she is ready. She finally does.)

Me: “Hi! What can I get you?”

Customer: “Where’s my food?”

Me: “Did you order already?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “What did you order?”

Customer: “Do I really have to say it again?!”

Me: “Sorry, it’s just that I have been here the entire time, and all you’ve done is stand there for ten minutes and then come to me.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not leaving without my food. I want it for free, as well. The service here stinks!”

(I call a manager and try to explain, but she persists that she did order and that I’m just being rude and lazy. The manager goes into the office just off to the side of the registers and checks the camera footage.)

Manager: “Sorry, I have just checked the last half hour. You came in, stood a metre back from where you are, and stared at the menu. That’s all you did. You haven’t ordered.”

(The woman’s eyes lose focus temporarily and then snap back.)

Customer: “Oh, I guess I was daydreaming.”

(She then left without another word.)

(Overheard between two employees at a popular fast food place:)

Employee: “[Coworker], can you stop eating the chicken nuggets long enough for me to fill this order?”