Don’t ask me why this story reminded me of this old incident, but here we go.

Back in the late 1990s, I was in the US for the first time. Back then, our passports were blue and had those thick leather-like covers with embossed gold writing, really fancy, not the embarrassingly flimsy red things we have now. (Thank you, EU!) I stayed with some friends, and we ordered pizza — my treat.

The delivery driver came, and he REEKED of weed. I swear, we smelled it through the door. Now, I don’t mind; anyone can do what they want, and in that line of work, you probably need something to deal with the people you get to encounter.

He took my credit card and asked to see my ID. I pulled out my passport, opened it, and held it out for him to see.

And he FREAKED out. He dropped the pizzas, dropped my card, and bolted for the door.

I stood there and stared at the open door, listening to the squealing tires and the laughter of my friends. 

Friend: “Dude, really?”

Me: “What? What did I do?”

Friend: “You flicked that open like they do in the movies when they show some FBI badge. Poor guy probably thought you were a narc or something.”

In case the driver reads this, I really just wanted to show you ID. Honest.

Related:
We Wish Her A Lifetime Of Cold Soggy Two-Day-Old Pizza

I work for [Pizza Place #1] as a delivery driver. I pull up to a house and notice another car pulling up right in front of me from [Pizza Place #2]. We get out at the same time and look at each other.

Other Driver: “100 Fifth Street?”

Me: “Yeah, same here!”

At that, the homeowners — a couple — step out of the house. One of them is carrying a stopwatch.

Customer #1: “Ah, man! It was too close to call!”

Customer #2: “You both arrived at the same time!”

Me: “Did you bet to see who would arrive first?”

Customer #1: “Yeah! My wife insists that [Pizza Place #2] is faster, and I said it was [Pizza Place #1], so we thought we’d test it.”

Other Driver: “Well… if it helps, I had two other stops on my route before you, so I could have been here quicker.”

Me: *Laughing* “I had two others, too.”

Customer #1: “Darn it! We’ll have to try another time!”

We all laugh, and they accept both pizzas and tip us both generously. I tell the store about the funny interaction, and we all laugh about it.

A few weeks later, we get an online order through, and one of us notices that the address looks familiar.

Me: “Oh, my God! It’s them again! Quick! Get that pizza prioritized! I have to beat the other guy!”

Laughing as we go, their pizza is pushed to the front and I am out the door within minutes, making sure they’re my first call this time, not my last.

I pull up to their driveway, and about twenty seconds later, I see my rival pulling up, too.

Other Driver: *Laughing* “D*** it! You beat me! I figured I would try to get out here faster, but—”

Me: “Yeah, I tried the same thing!”

The customers laughed with us again, and I was proclaimed the winner! They promised not to make us race again (it’s not safe), and we each got tipped $100!

Now, every time they put an order in, I don’t rush over, but I do make sure they’re first on my route… just in case.

A few years ago, I worked at a wing delivery place after moving across the country for college. I accidentally left my microwave at home, but luckily, my mom had some business in the town I was living in, so she tossed it in her car and brought it with her to her hotel.

We’d discussed it beforehand, and she got a hotel in my delivery radius. She ordered some wings, and I was the driver for it. I got the wings, headed over, and started going to the elevators. I gave the front desk workers a small wave as I went by.

I got up to her room, made some small chat, and took my microwave from her. I made my way back down to the lobby, and the front desk workers called me over.

Worker: “What are you doing with that microwave?”

Me: “It was my tip from the customer!”

That hotel didn’t have microwaves in the rooms, so they let me go. I loved the confused looks on their faces.

I’m a pizza delivery guy in college. I take a delivery to the apartment of three fellows who have been smoking the Mary Jane just a little too much.

First Guy: “How much is the order?”

Me: “$16.”

He hands me a $10 bill.

First Guy: “I’ll be back.”

Another guy comes over and hands me $10.

Second Guy: “I’ll be back.”

A third roommate then handed me $9.

Third Guy: “I’ll be back.”

At this point, I have $29 dollars on a $16 dollar order. The first guy came back with a $10 bill and hands it to me.

First Guy: “Keep the change.”

Me: “Thanks!”

Before I can get to the car the other roommate catches up to me and says:

Second Guy: “Here’s the $16 we owe and a tip for being cool.” 

I made $50 in tips on one delivery. It made up for the times that I got stiffed!

I work at a pizza place. When I get back from a delivery run, my manager is on the phone with one of the customers I have just delivered to. He puts the phone on mute and calls me over.

Manager: “You’ll never believe what your last drop-off is complaining about.”

Me: “Oh, no, what did I do?”

Manager: “Listen.”

He takes the call off mute and instead puts it on speakerphone for me to listen to.

Customer: “—I am very upset!”

Manager: “Sir, just to get this right, you’re calling us to complain that your pizza, upon delivery, was too hot to eat? Am I right?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Manager: *Staring at me, almost laughing* “I see.”

Customer: “What are you gonna do about it!?” 

Manager: “Use your complaint for our advertising!”