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The Terrible Tuesdays

, , , , , | Right | January 13, 2022

Our chicken shop runs a sweet half-price deal on Tuesdays every week. Every day of the week, without fail, this happens.

Customer: “Hi, can I get the Tuesday special?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s Wednesday.”

Customer: “Just press the button so I can have it.”

Me: “Sorry, the button is only on the register on Tuesdays.”

Customer: “What’s the difference? It’s just a day!”

Me: “Yeah, sorry, Tuesday’s the day for the special — only Tuesday. Not Wednesday.”

Customer: “Well, I got it last week!”

Me: “On Tuesday?”

Customer: “Yes, so why can’t I have it today?”

Me: “BECAUSE IT’S NOT TUESDAY!”

Every, single, day!

Will Be Explaining For Days

, , , , , , | Working | March 19, 2021

I have been offered a new full-time role working overnight at another location run by my boss. I have a regular Monday-to-Friday roster, starting at midnight each night. It’s the start of my second week when I arrive at work at 11:30 on Sunday night, only to have the store manager ask me why I am there.

Me: “I’m rostered to start work at midnight.”

Store Manager: “No, you’re not rostered. I had to bring someone else in because you weren’t rostered on tonight.”

Me: “I am on the roster to start at midnight.”

Store Manager: “No, you are rostered to start at midnight Monday night.”

Me: “Can I check on the roster?” 

Store Manager: “No, I can’t get online to access it at the moment.”

I leave, confused because I was told by the franchisee that I would be working Monday to Friday. I check the roster when I get back home and see that I am rostered from 00:00 am to 8:00 am Monday. I call the store manager to let him know.

Store Manager: “Yes, I know you are working from midnight on Monday, but that’s tomorrow; it’s Sunday tonight.”

Me: “But it’s Monday from midnight tonight.”

Store Manager: “No, it’s Sunday night.”

All I could do was call my boss in the morning to ask him to explain to the store manager how days work.

Good Thing He Saved On The Chicken As He Has A Big Bill On The Way

, , , , , | Right | March 10, 2021

I’m shopping in a supermarket when I see a reduced hot chicken. As I go to grab it, I’m pushed out of the way by a young guy who looks to be eighteen to twenty.

Young Guy: “Haha, stupid b****.”

He walks off laughing with the chicken. I shrug it off when a deli worker calls me over.

Worker: “Hey, I just saw what happened with that guy. I’ve got a fresh batch just out of the oven; I’ll reduce one for you.”

I thanked her and took it, figuring at least it was fresh and hadn’t been sitting for hours. As I was walking home, I was waiting to cross at a set of traffic lights when the young guy from earlier pulled up in a hotted-up car — illegal for someone on their P plates as this guy was — revving his engine.

When the lights changed, he sped around the corner, lost control, and went through a hedge into an empty car park, ripping off his front bumper and seriously damaging his front end. I didn’t hang around to see what happened but couldn’t stop laughing all the way home.

Gotta love Karma.

This Concept Should Not Be This Difficult

, , , , , | Right | February 12, 2021

We work in a donut kiosk at a service centre. Due to a blackout, none of the fast food shops can cook or sell food. We can, but we can’t open our till or use the register, so we’re using a small box with some change. People are grumpy when they find out they can’t get their choice of food, and that the only food option is us.

Customer #1: “I’ll have [two flavours].”

Me: “Due to the blackout, we can only accept cash. Is that okay?”

Customer #1: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, your total is [total].”

They hand over their card.

Me: “I’m sorry, we can’t use the register due to the blackout.”

Customer #1: “They just told me the same thing over there! Why can’t I use my card anywhere here?”

Me: “There’s a blackout. No one has electricity. We can only accept cash.”

Customer #1: “I don’t have cash.”

Me: “Well, then, you can’t buy doughnuts. Have a good day.”

Another customer makes an order and pays me in cash, which I put in the cash box. A while later, she comes back.

Customer #2: “Um, I know you are only taking cash right now, but I saw that girl—” *points to coworker* “—put the coins under the counter.”

Me: “We’re keeping our cash box out of reach of customers, ma’am.”

Customer #2: “Hmm…”

She wandered away from the counter but took photos of us “hiding” the money. We got a call from our boss the next day after a complaint was made to head office.

Can’t Find “A” Piece Of Music

, , , , | Right | February 6, 2021

I work in the music and video department of a big box retailer, when CD singles are still a thing. I know my department inside out, can tell you exactly where a particular CD is and how many we have left, and keep up to date with the latest music to ensure I can help my customers.

Customer: “I’m looking for a song, but I don’t know who sings it.”

Me: “That’s okay! I’ll help you figure it out. Do you remember if it was a man or woman singing?”

Customer: “I’m not sure.”

Me: “What type of music was it? Was it dancey or a ballad? Rock or pop? Fast or slow?”

Customer: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “Do you know when it came out?”

Customer: “Not really, no.”

Me: “Was it a solo act or a band?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Do you remember anything about the song at all?”

Customer: “I think it had ‘A’ in the title.”

I spread my hands to indicate the hundreds of CD singles in front of us.

Me: “That could be pretty much any song we have here. Why don’t you come back when you have a bit more information?”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

Guess I should’ve been working on my mind-reading skills, instead.