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Like… Seventeen Hundred Years Ago?

, , , , | Right | December 18, 2022

Customer: “What day is Christmas?”

Me: “It’s Saturday.”

Customer: “No, what day number is it?”

Me: “The twenty-fifth.”

Customer: “Isn’t that what it was last year?”

Me: “It’s on the same date every year.”

Customer: “Oh. When did they start doing that?”

Some People’s Time Is Wibbly-Wobbly Timey-Wimey-Er Than Others’

, , , | Right | November 27, 2022

In August of last year, I finished working on an album cover for a musician. I sent him the final file and left for my summer vacation. While I was gone, he sent me an email.

Client: “Hi, I know you’re on vacation, but I need you to make a small edit and resend me the file. This is very urgent. We are ready to print.”

I took care of it immediately. It was a five-minute job. The hardest part was finding a plug for my laptop. They didn’t write back, so I figured “job done” and enjoyed the rest of my vacation.

Just now, a year later, I receive an email.

Client: “Hey, thanks for the file. We are finally ready to print now!”

Seems Like This Is The Flavor Of The Month(s)

, , , , , | Right | November 18, 2022

Many years ago, I was the office manager at a mechanical workshop that converted cars to run on LPG (liquefied petroleum gas) — both new cars (from dealers and private owners) and retroactively fitting to older cars.

Our normal schedule was booked about two weeks ahead with the odd appointment further ahead for people taking a day off to have it done.

The cost of petrol/gasoline shot up and our calendar filled up to a couple of months ahead. Then, the government offered a rebate to get cars converted that, in many cases, totally covered the cost of the conversion. That caused our calendar to fill up to six months ahead, at which point the boss closed the calendar. We’d reopen it one month before our last appointment.

I’ve got some great stories from that time, but one that sticks out was the guy who turned up to have his 4WD done. He claimed he’d booked in, but he wasn’t on the list.

This was May 15th, and then he dropped this line:

Customer: “You said July 15th on the phone, but I knew what you meant.”

I made a quick check of the calendar and, sure enough, there he was booked in for the 15th of July.

When I told him we actually did mean July 15th, he replied:

Customer: “Don’t be ridiculous! Who’d take a slot that far ahead?

Me: “Any of the five vehicle owners we’ll be doing each working day for the three-plus months after your appointment up to the point where we’ve stopped taking bookings.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “If you don’t want your appointment, I can fill that opening with probably two or three phone calls.”

He very quickly confirmed that he did still want his appointment, and two months later, he was back with his 4WD, looking a little sheepish as he dropped off his keys and filled out his paperwork.

Thursday Is The New Tuesday

, , , , , , , | Right | November 15, 2022

I overhear this exchange at the dentist’s office this morning.

Receptionist: “Okay, how does 10:30 on Tuesday, December eighth sound?”

Patient: “What?”

Receptionist: “How does 10:30 on Tuesday, December eighth sound?”

Patient: “Yeah, that should work. Is that a Monday?”

Receptionist: “No, it’s a Thursday.”

The Couponator 37: The Year Of Reckoning

, , , , , , , | Right | October 12, 2022

A customer is trying to use a buy-one-get-one-free coupon.

Me: “Sir, you can’t use this coupon.”

Customer: “It’s valid until the fifteenth of October! It’s only October fourth!”

Me: “It expired on the fifteenth of October last year, sir.”

Customer: “Well, it should come back around and be valid again.”

Me: “I’m afraid I already tried to scan it and it’s not working. We do have the same sale happening again this year, though, so I can advise you to go online and get this year’s coupon and—”

Customer: “Oh, I have that, too.”

Me: “Then why did you try to use last year’s?”

Customer: “I didn’t want to waste a perfectly good coupon.”

The customer then fishes out THIS YEAR’S coupon, which works perfectly.

Customer: “Admit it: you underestimated me, didn’t you?”

Me: “Sir, I can honestly say you’re impossible to underestimate.”

Customer: “D*** right!” *Walks out triumphantly*

The Couponator 36: The Counter-Coupon Cashier
The Couponator 35: Dog Food Day Afternoon
The Couponator 34: Blast From The Past
The Couponator 33: The Double Cross
The Couponator 32: Attack Of The Rulebreaker