We All Need A Daylight Savings Week

, , , , , | Learning | April 11, 2019

(I’m in class at 2:27 pm, and my teacher is giving a test. It’s almost over.)

Teacher: “Right, you have ten more minutes.”

(He writes 1:27 on the board plus 10 equals 1:37.)

Classmate: “It’s 2, not 1.”

(The teacher looks at her and then at the board, sighs, and fixes his mistake.)

Classmate: “Daylight savings time, remember?”

Teacher: “Did that happen this week?”

(Later, he is explaining his two extra credit assignments, which are to go to events and write quick papers about them.)

Teacher: “This one is happening tomorrow, March 27th. This one is happening this Friday, April 5th.”

Class: “That’s next Friday.”

Teacher: *looks at them and then looks closer at the date* “Oh, it’s next week. I’m an hour behind and a week behind!”

On The Midnight Train Going Anywhere

, , , , , | Right | April 9, 2019

(At the station where I work, trains stop running earlier on Saturday nights than on other days. One train line runs from the upper level of the station, and when the service has finished, we pull tapes across the escalators to stop people going up. I’ve just done this and am about to walk away when someone tries to undo the tape on the escalator.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, that area is closed. There are no more trains from those platforms.”

Customer: “Yes, there are. We’ve got tickets for the 23:15 train to [City about two hours away].”

Me: “I’m afraid there isn’t a 23:15, sir. The last train to [City] left about ten minutes ago.”

(The customer pulls his phone out of his pocket and thrusts it in my face.)

Customer: *with a very smug smile* “Well, here’s my confirmation! Two tickets on the 23:15 to [City]!”

Me: “You’re quite right, sir; that is what it says. The 23:15 to [City]… on Friday. Today is Saturday.”

(There is a moment’s silence while the customer and his partner digest this information.)


(I decide to withdraw and let them sort it out between themselves. About ten minutes later, the customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Um… excuse me? I’m really sorry about earlier. Er… are there any hotels nearby?”

It’s Going To Be A Long Week That Lasts Two Months

, , , , | Healthy | April 8, 2019

(It is currently the beginning of April and this patient needs an appointment.)

Me: “Our next available is mid-June.”

Patient: “Okay, go ahead and schedule me for next Thursday.”

Me: “Our next available is mid-June.”

Patient: “I can’t schedule now; just schedule me for next Thursday.”

Me: “If you can’t schedule right now, that’s fine, but we are booking out until mid-June.”

Patient: “Okay, I’ll call back and schedule for next Thursday.”

Must Have Been One Heck Of A Party On March 1st

, , , , | Right | December 20, 2018

(The date is Tuesday, February 28th.)

Customer: *writing out check* “It’s the 2nd, right?”

Me: “Nope, the 28th.”

Customer: “The 2nd?”

Me: “No, it’s the 28th.”

Customer: “But it’s the 2nd?”

Me: *now thinking he’s talking about the month and not the day and going to write the date as 2/28* “OH! Yes, it’s the second month.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks.” *writes 2nd March*

Me: “Oh, no, it’s February.”

Customer: “No, it’s not; it’s March.”

Me: “Nope, it’s February 28th. Almost March, but not quite.”

Customer: “No, today is March 2nd.”

Me: *pulls out calendar* “See? Today is Tuesday, February 28th.”

Customer: “OH, NO! I’ve been writing out all my checks today for March 2nd! Do you think the electric company will accept my payment?”

Me: “If you mailed it today, it might be March 2nd by the time it gets there.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

Ah, Mondays… On Tuesday

, , , , , | Right | October 24, 2018

(I work in a hardware shop. Yesterday was a bank holiday. I was working that day, as were the part-timers. A customer sets down his order, but then his phone rings, and he answers it. A new coworker comes and asks me for help finding something. I go and show him. When I come back my customer hangs up.)

Customer: “Sorry about that. It’s Monday morning; what can I say?”

Me: “It’s Tuesday, sir.”

Customer: “Is it really?”

Me: “Yesterday was a bank holiday.”

Customer: “Did you enjoy it?”

Me: “I was here.”

Customer: “Oh. Sorry. The day has already been long.”

Me: “I feel you; it’s like that here today.”

(I process the transaction.)

Customer: “I know it’s Monday, but enjoy the rest of your shift.”

Me: *a little crestfallen* “It’s still Tuesday, but I’ll try.”

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