(It is my first job serving customers at a bakery. A bossy regular customer comes up during a busy time. She has used two rewards cards up to the point where she is entitled to one free loaf from each card.)

Customer: “I want four loaves of bread: two regular and two high-fibre, all sliced thick.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

(I slice and bag her loaves and return with them to the counter.)

Customer: “I want to pay for the two high-fibre loaves and get the two regular ones free on my loyalty cards.”

Me: “Actually, you can use the high-fibre loaves as your free loaves and pay for the two regulars. It’s $1 cheaper that way.”

Customer: “No, I want the regular loaves to be free!”

(I have already rung through her order as two regular loaves. She hands me her money and I give her $1 change.)

Customer: “Why do I have change? I gave you the right amount for two high-fibre loaves! You’re not listening to me! I want to pay for the high-fibres and get the regulars free!”

(She has the $1 in her open hand so, losing patience, I literally take it back.)

Me: “I was trying to save you this but never mind, now you’ve paid for two high-fibre loaves. Have a nice day.”

(I could tell in her eyes that what I was trying to do had finally dawned on her but she didn’t say another word as she took her bread and left.)

(I’m waiting my turn at a bakery. The woman next to me is being served.) 

Customer: “Does the seeded bread contain pumpkin seeds? I’m allergic to them.”

Cashier: “Oh, no, they have punkin seeds, not pumpkin.”

Customer: “Uh, honey… there’s no such thing as punkin.”

Cashier: *blank look* “None of our breads have pumpkin, just punkin.”

Customer: “Never mind, I’ll go elsewhere.”

(A couple has been wandering around checking out our display cakes. They then approach the counter to order.)

Woman: “I want half of that pie.” *points at the showcase*

Me: “I’m sorry, madam, but I’m afraid we don’t sell them that way. We sell mini pies and full-sized ones.”

Man: “But we want half of that one!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. But I’m afraid we don’t sell them that way.”

(Both huff in annoyance.)

Man: “Fine. We’ll take the whole pie… but you have to slice it for us!”

Me: “Sorry… but I’m afraid I’m not experienced in that area. I don’t generally slice pies. But I can ask one of our production team if they could—”

Woman: “Yes, go do that! We only want sliced pie!”

(I try to keep my temper as I take the pie to the back and ask my coworker to slice it. I return up front, waiting for her to bring it up. The customers have returned to looking around the shop. My coworker brings me the nicely-sliced pie in no time. I begin to ring them up on the register.)

Me: “Excuse me! Sir, madam! Your pie is ready! She did a good job at cutting it.”

(They storm up to the register.)

Man: “God, what is your hurry?! Are you trying to make us leave?!”

Woman: “Stop trying to rush us! It’s bad customer service! You need to calm down, young lady!”

Man: “And you shouldn’t yell in the store! We’ll check out when we’re good and ready! we’re not done looking! So take a breath already! You need to learn to slow down! Don’t rush us!”

Me: *speechless for a second* “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to rush you… Please take your time.”

(After wandering around the store a bit longer, I checked them out and they left, grumbling about how this little shopping excursion had taken up too much time “just for a d*** pie.”)

(We aren’t fast food; we are casual dining, which means we make every sandwich from scratch and pour soups. Usually, we plan our work schedules around expected rush periods. Occasionally, though, some rushes happen outside of those hours and we don’t have the staff to handle them quickly. During that time, we get drive-offs — people tired of waiting who just drive off instead of stopping to pay and get their food. To make sure we get the right food to the right people we read back the orders at the window. Today, we lost a customer.)

Coworker: “Okay, so, you’re my bowl of chicken noodle soup?” *only thing in the order on her screen*

Customer: “Yup, that’s us.”

(My coworker then puts the soup into a bag, adds some napkins, and hands it off to them as they start to hand over their payment.)

Customer: “Wait. Where is the rest of our order?”

Coworker: “Uh, this is the bowl of chicken noodle soup; you confirmed this was your order.”

Customer: “Well, yes, but what about our sandwiches? Didn’t you write our order down?”

(Seeing that this is quickly going south, I jump over and offer help.)

Me: “We’re sorry about that. You confirmed that this soup order was yours and—”

(I am about to mention that it appears that the next order — a bowl of chicken noodle and the sandwiches they ordered — is their order, not the one they confirmed. I am being nice and apologizing even though it was their mistake and not ours. However, they decide not to let me finish.)

Customer: “Screw this; we are never coming back here! This is bulls***! You should have written our order down!”

(They then drove off without even the soup, only pausing long enough to snatch back their card. On the plus side, I got a free lunch. It boggles my mind that people will confirm food as being theirs when it clearly isn’t.)

Me: “Hey, is there something I can do for you?”

Customer: “Well, I’m not sure yet. I like the looks of this chocolate here, but I’m not sure I’d like it.”

(As it so happens, we are allowed to give samples of most of our products. I cut her a small piece, probably not even a tenth of the item, and hand it to her.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s really good. Thank you! I’ll take one.”

Me: “Great! Is this one okay?” *points to the one she sampled*

Customer: *instantly offended* “Excuse me?! No, that’s not happening. If you gave me half off, maybe, but there’s no way I’m paying full price for that one now!”

Me: *sighing internally* “No problem, let me just box up a different one for you.”