As Time Goes Pie

(A couple has been wandering around checking out our display cakes. They then approach the counter to order.)

Woman: “I want half of that pie.” *points at the showcase*

Me: “I’m sorry, madam, but I’m afraid we don’t sell them that way. We sell mini pies and full-sized ones.”

Man: “But we want half of that one!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. But I’m afraid we don’t sell them that way.”

(Both huff in annoyance.)

Man: “Fine. We’ll take the whole pie… but you have to slice it for us!”

Me: “Sorry… but I’m afraid I’m not experienced in that area. I don’t generally slice pies. But I can ask one of our production team if they could—”

Woman: “Yes, go do that! We only want sliced pie!”

(I try to keep my temper as I take the pie to the back and ask my coworker to slice it. I return up front, waiting for her to bring it up. The customers have returned to looking around the shop. My coworker brings me the nicely-sliced pie in no time. I begin to ring them up on the register.)

Me: “Excuse me! Sir, madam! Your pie is ready! She did a good job at cutting it.”

(They storm up to the register.)

Man: “God, what is your hurry?! Are you trying to make us leave?!”

Woman: “Stop trying to rush us! It’s bad customer service! You need to calm down, young lady!”

Man: “And you shouldn’t yell in the store! We’ll check out when we’re good and ready! we’re not done looking! So take a breath already! You need to learn to slow down! Don’t rush us!”

Me: *speechless for a second* “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to rush you… Please take your time.”

(After wandering around the store a bit longer, I checked them out and they left, grumbling about how this little shopping excursion had taken up too much time “just for a d*** pie.”)