Customer: “Hi. Can I get a [Burger] combo?”

Cashier: “What size?”

Customer: “Do you have small?”

Cashier: “Only medium and large, sorry.”

Customer: “Oh. Which one’s smaller?”

I work in a petrol station and it’s about 5:00 pm. I overhear this conversation between my coworker and a customer.

Coworker: “Hi. Do you have a loyalty card? Would you like to use your discount today?”

The loyalty card gets you six cents per litre off your fuel.

Customer: “Yes, I have one.”

Coworker: “Would you like to use your discount today?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

The coworker puts through the discount and gets the screen ready for payment.

Coworker: “Was that cash or card today?”

Customer: “Card, please.”

The customer swipes their card and stares at my coworker.

Customer: “Is it Cheque or Savings?”

Coworker: “I don’t know what your account is, sorry.”

The customer puts in a number and it declines.

Customer: “Why did it do that?”

Coworker: “You put in the wrong PIN number. Did you want to ask your husband to come inside and do the transaction for you? Your card will be locked if you get it wrong again.”

The customer goes out to her husband in the car and comes back in.

Customer: “The PIN number is—”

Coworker: *Cutting her off* “Let’s swipe your card again and choose your account.”

The customer does so and the rest of the transaction goes through without a hitch. The customer leaves and my coworker turns to me.

Coworker: “Why didn’t the husband just come in?”

Me: *Shrugs* “Maybe he’s giving her free rein of the funds?”

Coworker: *Laughs* “At least she won’t spend too much if she doesn’t even know her account.”

Related:
PIN-Headed, Part 10
PIN-Headed, Part 9
PIN-Headed, Part 8

I am working as a court clerk in civil cases. Our courthouse is in the middle of the city and is several storeys high. Modern development has built up around the court, so that from levels four up, the back of the court overlooks and looks into a flashy five-star hotel.

One day, I am assisting in a settlement conference, and the judge and I are sitting at opposite ends of a long table, with the parties down either side. The judge is sitting in front of the window with his back to it, and I can see clearly everything going on behind him.

The judge recalls to me later that suddenly my face changes and contorts, and I busy myself in a piece of paper, looking horrified. 

He decides we should have a break and when the lawyers have cleared, he asks what happened. I raise a shaky hand to the hotel across the way, which does not have frosted or tinted windows, and the very large, naked man doing Zumba. In front of the windows. 

The judge laughs so hard he extends the break for an extra fifteen minutes so he can calm down, and he teases me about it for the rest of the week.

I was in hospital for a severe illness. Because doctors were unable to identify what was causing it at my age, given I was in my twenties, I was in a ward for many weeks while they did multiple tests. 

Being a fairly active person prior, I didn’t take sitting idle very well. So, after a few days, I was restless, despite being unwell. 

I really enjoy crafty activities. The hospital happened to be holding an in-house competition where each individual ward got a theme, with the best decorated getting a prize. 

Being absolutely bored out of my mind, I asked if I could help them out with making decorations, which they agreed to. They provided the crafting gear and paints, and we made some pretty cool decorations. 

However, I will never forget the poor cleaners that came to do their rounds through the ward one afternoon and found me cross-legged on my bed, arms and gown covered in red paint, because I had dropped a large painted piece of decoration on myself. 

One emergency call to nurses later, and I ended up not doing most of the painting activities following that. 

That ward won the competition, and after an emergency surgery, I’m doing much better.

I am operating a ride in an area where guests are given stamps on their hands instead of wrist bands. It is an area designed for children under eight.

Me: “All right, sweetie, show me your stamp, please.”

The little girl stamps her feet twice.

Me: “Uh…”