I was working on a wedding invite that the client was adamant should include an illustrated script typeface resembling rope. 

Me: “You know, this might not even work, and if it doesn’t, I’ve just wasted all that time.”

Client: “Don’t worry. I think you’ll be fine.”

Me: “Keep in mind that you can’t make copy edits once I get started since every letter is illustrated by hand.”

Client: “I understand! Just do it.”

After hours of work, I sent him a sample.

Client: “It’s not looking the way I wanted. Can you just pick a script typeface from your font collection? As well, I have some copy edits for you.”

A client was not happy with the colours on his new website. He ordered a bunch of design changes to make it look “right.” He was convinced that we were going out of our way to misunderstand him. Discussions and arguments about the changes gave way to simply doing what the client wanted. 

A few days after applying the changes…

Client: “Looks like the contrast settings were out of whack on my monitor.”

Me: “Happens to the best of us.”

Client: “Exactly! Anyway, let’s revert all the changes you made. I expect all this to be gratis, naturally, as I did most of the recent ‘designing’ for free.”

I’ve been designing signs for over twenty years, and every few months, I have to repeat this kind of scenario with a client.

Client: “I need the sign to be double-sided with an arrow pointing to the right.”

Me: “You need the arrow pointing to the right on both sides?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “You realize that if the arrow points to the right on both sides, coming from one direction, the arrow will point your target customer in the opposite direction from your location… right?”

Client: “No, we’re on the right.”

Me: “I know you’re on the right coming from this direction, but coming from the other direction, the arrow needs to point to the left.”

Client: “No, we’re always on the right.”

I was working for a printing company as a graphic designer, and we had this one client that made up a good percentage of our business — like 35% of our business.

They had a major project come up that was in a time crunch and worth millions of dollars to them.

They came to us and asked us if we could take care of the printing of these materials for their proposal; 250 sets of the final proposal had to be printed and bound using super-nice luxury materials, special foil on the front, etc., and the proposal was 150 pages, double-sided, with tabbed sections.

Everything had to be custom-made, even the tabs and cover.

It was a disaster from the start. The client gave us the wrong version of the proposal, so we had to stop printing mid-print.

Then, they changed the cover, which meant changing the size of the cover (oversize) and redoing the metal plates for the foil.

Then, they had more changes to the proposal inside — two days before it was due.

What they submitted was filled with spelling errors and grammar errors.

I went through and fixed all the errors, fixed their margins, and made it look stunning, adding in graphs that didn’t look right or match their stats and making it look like a showstopper.

For forty-eight hours, another employee and I worked our a**es off getting this project printed, assembled, bound, and boxed, ready to go.

My boss and I personally delivered it to our client’s office.

The project manager saw the final version and started screaming at me for fixing her mistakes, etc., telling me that they were going to lose this proposal, that it was all my fault, and that we had printed the wrong version.

My boss interrupted her and told her to f*** off. He said that I had spent two full days at the office, not even sleeping, to make her half-a**ed project done on time and that I had spent precious time fixing her mistakes after she had sent us incomplete materials and non-standard files.

Little did I know that he’d kept a copy of the mistake-ridden proposal and bound one as a before and after case study.

He took me, a finished proposal, and the mistake proposal up to the president of the company — someone who he knew really, really, well and had worked with for years. My boss handed him the two versions and told him that we weren’t going to work with them anymore based on the reactions of this project manager.

The president was shocked that his employee had acted like that. He then looked over the finished project, saw how beautiful it was, and thanked me personally.

They went on to win the proposal, in part because it made them look super-professional.

After they won the proposal, the president called me, the other a**-busting employee, and our boss into his office, treated us to lunch, and then gave us a check for $15,000 for helping them win the proposal as a bonus.

My boss gave me half and the other employee half for our efforts in getting the project done; he didn’t keep a dime for himself.

We did keep them as clients, but we never had to work with that a**hole project manager lady again.

Our sign shop is only open Monday through Friday until 5:00 pm. We aren’t open on the weekends. (Thank God.) Most customers understand when we tell them this and that, depending on when they come in, rush fees may apply.

One Friday afternoon, a customer and his wife come in, and we discuss a sign for their store at a nearby mall. Mall signage is a bit strict, and you have to have a sign. We need the owners of the mall to approve the sign before we can fabricate and install it. The whole process takes several weeks at least from start to finish, so it’s a long process.

Client: “We have a store in the mall, and we need a sign.”

Me: “All right. Our estimator is out, but let me write down the information and jot down your contact information, and I will give it to him when he gets back Monday. We can schedule a site visit then for him to come take a look.”

Client: “No. We want it installed by tomorrow. Can you do it?”

Me: *Dumbfounded* “Uh… no? This isn’t something that—”

Client: *Interrupting* “But it’s just simple letters, right? Your guys can go over tonight and just put it up! We open tomorrow, so we want the signage up before then.”

Me: *Even more dumbfounded* “Sir, even if we could, that’s impossible.”

Client: “I want it to say this and in this color. What sizes do you have in stock? How much is it going to be to install overnight?”

Me: “Sir, I can’t just give you a price, as there are so many variances with something like this. Also, we need mall approval first.”

Client: “The mall already approved us to get a sign. When will you be there?”

This goes on for several minutes. His wife also pipes in a bit during this conversation, but it’s just to ask the same things as her husband. My coworker comes by and chats as well, trying to explain. There must be some disconnect since they both have thick accents, but I start to get a bit ticked.

Me: “Sir, everything here is custom-made. It’s not like we have stock here in person ready to pull and install same-day. It doesn’t work like that for this kind of signage.”

FYI: Our signage is illuminated Pan Channel Letters.

Me: “It’s a process that requires us to get mall approval on the sign directly before we can even make anything. The whole process takes several weeks at least.”

Client And His Wife: “Ooooooh. Okay. How soon can you get it done?”

Me: “I am not sure, but let me get your information, and we can get this process started Monday.”

I finally got their information and gave it to our estimator to do a site visit. They never went through with us.