(I work at a local bookstore in a city with a large transit center, which means we get a lot of “interesting” visitors and regulars. One regular, a Yosemite fanatic and quite the talker, comes into the store a little more hyper than usual. I am helping another customer, a middle-aged woman, while the regular cracks jokes and sings to my coworker at the register next to me.)

Female Customer: *to me* “That man is so annoying.”

(She tells me this in a voice loud enough for the regular to hear, but he doesn’t seem to notice. I remain professional.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, he’s a very nice regular.”

Female Customer: “I understand, but… he was in the travel section with me, just singing and talking to himself… and I just couldn’t… ugh!”

Me: “We do get some interesting people in this store.”

Female Customer: “I’m sure. You know what? If I had your job, I wouldn’t last two minutes.”

Me: “It takes some guts, ma’am.”

(It is only after I rang up her things and sent her on her way that I realized that this just might be the first time the customer actually acknowledged that my retail, low-wage job takes some skills, rather than acting high and mighty and like I was doing something wrong!)

(I work at a fast food coffee chain in Canada. Our coffee chain has gift cards that you can reload and swipe to pay. A customer is having trouble getting his to register, and on the third try, he yanks it roughly and it reads the card.)

Me: “Oh, hey! There you go; you got it!”

Customer: “Yep. It’s like a woman, you gotta be rough with it.”

Me: *long, stunned pause*

Customer: “Haha, just kidding!”

(My coworker and I are both women.)

(The shopping plaza our store is in also has a pet store. Because of this, the manager allows customers to bring in their pets. It’s an otherwise boring afternoon when I get this call…)

Me: “Kitchens.”

Caller: *sounds like a grade-school age kid* “Um, hello, I was in your store earlier and I, um, I think I lost my pet tarantula in your department.”

Me: “Pet… tarantula?”

Caller: “Yes, I bought him from the pet store, and he crawled out of his cage in your store.”

(I decide to play along. That pet store doesn’t carry tarantulas.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll look for him. Can I have your number so I can call you back when I find him?”

Caller: *panics* “No, I don’t want him anymore!”

Me: “Oooh, then can I keep him? I’ve always wanted a pet tarantula.”

Caller: *click*

(I’m the idiotic customer here. My only excuse is that this is my first time using debit.)

Employee: “Okay, so that’s $8.59. Please insert chip or swipe card.”

Me: *swipes card upside down*

Employee: “Um, other way, miss.”

Me: “Okay.” *swipes card backwards*

Employee: “Strip facing the machine, please.”

Me: “Really sorry.” *swipes correctly*

Employee: “Okay, now choose which account, and put in your PIN. Then hit ‘confirm.’”

Me: *does steps, hits cancel transaction*

Me: “I am so sorry. I have no idea why I did that.”

Employee: *trying to contain laughter* “It’s okay, just try again.”

Me: *finishes order, leaves mortified*

(Every once in a while, we get an item that has the incorrect price tag on it. It’s store policy to honor it, but we still need to check with our managers.)

Me: “Hey, [Manager], this is ringing up at $12 but has a $5 tag.”

Manager: “Okay, you can just honor it.”

Customer: “Well, why don’t you do it?”

Manager: “Ma’am, I just said to honor it.”

Customer: “Yeah, but why wouldn’t you?”

Manager: “We’re giving it to you at the discounted price.”

Customer: “Okay, but why would it be an issue?”

Manager: “Ma’am, just…” *at this point my manager just turns away and ignores the customer*

(After the customer leaves:)

Me: “Well, she was a bit rude.”

Manager: “I hate people like that. Why does it matter that you have to ask if I’m giving her the discount anyway? She just wanted to start an argument.”