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Questioning The Location Of The Question

| Right | July 5, 2013

Me: “Good afternoon, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I got a question!”

Me: “Okay, how can I help?”

Caller: “Back in the sixties, me and Burt would drive to ‘Trannah’ to get a corned beef sandwich. The guy would say ‘Pickle on the side?’ and we say ‘Yeah, pickle on the side!’. Now you wanna buy ten, y’uunastan’ but you could only afford one! We ain’t got no money, y’know? These days, y’wanna buy one, ’cause you can’t buy ten. It’ll make ya sick! You’ll throw up!”

Me: “Yeah, that’ll happen. I hate to cut this story short, but what was your question?”

Caller: *click*

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Lost In Time And Retail Space

, , , , | Right | April 3, 2010

(I’ve worked in the store for over a year. It is 2010. There is also a small pin on my badge saying ‘serving you since 2008’.)

Customer: “Hi! Are you new? I haven’t seen you here before.”

Me: “Actually, no, I’ve worked here for a year and a half.”

Customer: “No way! I shop here everyday! I’ve never seen you!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you that I’ve worked here for that long. Look at my name badge.”

Customer: “I want to see your manager! You’re a liar! It says you’ve been here since 2008!”

Me: “I have.”

Customer: “Who did you steal that pin from?”

Me: “It’s mine.”

(My manager comes over.)

Manager: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “This girl is a liar! She says she worked here since 2008!”

Manager: “She has.”

Customer: “2008 hasn’t even happened yet!”

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Let’s Not Make Her A Real Angel

, , , , | Right | December 9, 2009

(A very small child of about four walks up to the slide at our pool.)

Me: “I am so sorry, sweetie, but you are a bit too small to go down the slide. Maybe next time!”

(The child leaves in hysterics, only to bring back her mother.)

Mother: “Why did you not let my angel go down the slide?”

Me: “She is under four feet tall.”

Mother: “Yes, I know. She’s an absolute angel.”

Me: “Our policy clearly states that we cannot let a child under four feet tall ride the slide. She could get seriously injured or possibly drown when she reaches the bottom.”

Mother: “Yes, I know, cute as a button!”

Me: “My manager can further explain this to you, but I can’t risk her safety.”

Mother: “But she is my angel!”

Me: “She’s also under four feet tall. She could die, ma’am.”

Mother: “Well, it’s not like she can help it! How dare you make my angel feel bad about her height!”


This story is part of our dangerous parent’s roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Stories Of Truly Terrible Parent Customers

 

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Read the dangerous parent’s roundup!

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Knocking The Door Of Opportunity

, , , , , | Right | November 15, 2010

Parent: “It’s ridiculous that I’m expected to give my information for my daughter to go to college. My parents didn’t pay for my college and I’m not paying for hers. I’m not giving it!”

Me: “Sir, these are the federal government’s regulations. According to the government, until your daughter is 23, married, or has a dependent of her own, she needs to provide your financial information.”

Parent: “So, you’re saying if she gets married or knocked up, I don’t have to take care of her?”

Me: “Um… technically, yes.”

Parent: *to [Daughter]* “That’s it. You know what you have to do. You need to get pregnant now.”

Daughter: *looking mortified and whining to her father* “Daaaad!”

Parent: “I’m serious. If you want to go to college then you’re throwing out your pills and getting yourself knocked up.”


This story is part of the American States roundup!

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Going Barking Mad

| Right | March 11, 2014

(I am working the customer service counter at a local grocery store.)

Customer: *puts a bag of dog food on the counter* “I’d like to return this.”

Me: “Certainly. Was there anything wrong with it?”

Customer: “No. I’m pregnant, and I’m losing my mind. I have a cat.”

See this story as a comic!

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