Saved Him From Making A Big Mis-Steak

| Right | May 16, 2013

(A regular walks in.)

Me: “Good day, sir. What can I help you with today?”

Regular: “I’d like seven pounds of lamb.”

Me: “Yes, sir. Got a party planned?”

Regular: “My brother and his family is coming to visit. Oh, and my son is bringing his girlfriend over. She’s a vegetarian, so throw in some chicken too, I guess.”

Me: “Sir, if she’s a vegetarian, she doesn’t eat meat.”

Regular: “Wait, you mean she doesn’t eat any meat at all? Not even chicken?”

Me: “Not even chicken, sir.”

Regular: “But… is that even possible?”

Me: “Yes, sir, it’s possible. Here’s your meat. I suggest you drop by a grocery store and buy something green for your son’s girlfriend. Enjoy your dinner!”

Regular: “Thank you.”

(He starts muttering as he leaves.)

Regular: “No meat! Some people are so strange.”

1 Thumbs
2,104

The Devil To Pay

, , , , , | Right | December 7, 2009

Me: “Your total is [amount].”

Customer: “Here is my coupon.”

Me: “I’m sorry, this expired last week.”

Customer: “What? What do you mean?”

Me: “It expired last week.”

Customer: “You witch devil! I can’t believe you changed the date!”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “You can magically alter dates, you devil!”

Me: “I don’t think I have that sort of power.”

(Upon hearing the commotion, my manager comes over.)

Customer: *to my manager* “You have a witch devil here! I’m going to have to bring the lord into this!”

(The customer pulls out a bobblehead Jesus and puts in on my counter.)

Customer: “I will return when the date of this coupon is the correct date!”


This story is part of our Biblically Bonkers roundup!

Read the next Biblically Bonkers roundup story!

Read the Biblically Bonkers roundup!

1 Thumbs
4,592

Rattled Enough To Quit

| Working | November 21, 2013

Me: “Hey [Manager], we need to change the oil in this fryer!”

Manager: “Why? You know how much trouble that is.”

Me: “Come see for yourself”

(The manager comes over and sees that there is a dead rat floating in the oil.)

Me: “See! We need to change the oil.”

Manager: “No, just get it out of there and heat it up. It will kill all of the germs.”

(That’s when I quit!)


This story is featured in our “I Quit!” roundup!

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to go back to the roundup!

1 Thumbs
1,565

Needs A Good Dressing Down

, , , | Right | March 22, 2011

(I am making a customer a salad. She is listing off what she wants on it.)

Me: “So that was oil, vinegar, and honey mustard for the dressings?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

(I proceed to put them on.)

Customer: “I didn’t want honey mustard.”

Me: “I just asked you if you wanted it, and you said yes.”

Customer: “I never said I wanted it.”

(To avoid confrontation, I set it aside and make a new one. I finish putting all the dressings on, except the honey mustard.)

Me: “Sorry about that. Would you like anything else on it?”

Customer: “You know what, I will try some honey mustard on it after all.”

1 Thumbs
1,942

Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 10

| Right | June 22, 2015

(I work in a small-to-medium size restaurant, where the owner is usually in and works alongside us. He and I are standing by the counter when the phone rings and I’m close enough to overhear the call:)

Owner: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How can I-”

Caller: “This is an OUTRAGE!!”

Owner: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Caller: “You got my food order all wrong! I demand to speak with the manager!”

Owner: “I happen to be the owner, ma’am.”

Caller: “…”

Owner: “Ma’am?”

Caller: “Oh. I, uh… I didn’t know the owner would actually be in.”

Owner: “Well, yes, I happen to be in today so—”

Caller: “No, I mean… I never actually ordered anything.”

Owner: *confused* “I don’t—”

Caller: “You see, I was gonna yell at the manager and hope to get a free meal by saying that I knew the owner, but…”

Owner: “… Do I know you?”

Caller: “No…”

Owner: “…”

Caller: “This is awkward.”

Owner: “Yeah, it is. Please never call back. I don’t particularly do well with customers who try to harass me or my employees, or lie in order for you to get a free meal. Have a nice day.”

(I was still somewhat surprised by her honesty, even if it was due to her total realization that it wouldn’t have worked!)

 

1 Thumbs
1,698