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Me: “Hi, can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, do you sell ghost vacuums?”
Me: “Umm… no?”
Customer: “Okay, well… thanks anyway.”
This story is part of the Customers-Who-Make-You-Say-WTF roundup!
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Read the Customers-Who-Make-You-Say-WTF roundup!
(I am working at the box office of a movie theater when a woman approaches my coworker’s window with two clearly underage sons.)
Customer: “Hi, I want two tickets to Django Unchained.”
Coworker: “Umm, are you going to see the movie with them?”
Customer: “No, I don’t want to see that movie.”
Coworker: “Unfortunately, Django Unchained is an R-rated movie, and our company policy is that anyone who is under 17 years old has to be accompanied by an adult. I can’t sell you tickets for just them.”
Customer: “What do you mean? That’s not fair. I shouldn’t have to buy a ticket for a movie I’m not going to.”
Coworker: “No, ma’am, you would have to actually go into the theater with them.”
Customer: “But I don’t want to see the movie! Fine then, I’ll buy a ticket for myself and then sell it to someone else in line who wants to see the movie!”
Coworker: “I’m sorry, but you can’t do that either.”
Customer: “I’m an adult! I can do whatever I want! I’m going to buy a ticket, and I’m going to sell it to someone else!”
Coworker: “Listen, let me get you my manager to—”
Customer: “I don’t want to talk to your manager! You’re not going to call him!”
Customer’s Son: “Mom, it’s okay. We really don’t need to see the movie.”
Coworker: *into walkie-talkie* “Can I get a manager to box?”
Customer: “I told you I don’t want to talk to your manager! Fine, I’ll just sit there with my eyes closed!”
(She purchases three tickets and goes inside. In the time it takes the customer to walk inside, the manager, who has heard everything, has come to the customer service counter at the box office. The customer walks straight up to my manager.)
Customer: “So, I guess YOU’RE the one I’m supposed to show THIS to.”
(The customer shoves her entire wallet with ID in my manager’s face.)
Customer: “See?! I’m over 17!”
Manager: “Ma’am, that isn’t the issue.”
Customer: “Yes it is! He told me I couldn’t buy a ticket unless I’m over 17!”
Manager: “The issue isn’t whether or not you’re 17. The issue is that your sons cannot see the movie without you watching it with them because it is an R-rated movie.”
Customer: “But—”
Manager: “This is not only a company policy, which is posted all over, but also the LAW. If we sell tickets to R-rated movies to anyone underage, we can be heavily fined or worse. I would be more than willing to refund all of your tickets if you do not wish to see the movie.”
Customer: “I don’t understand what the issue is! I’m an adult! I’M OVER 17! I guess I’ll just have to watch the movie with my eyes closed and cover my ears!”
(I am delivering oxygen to a new patient at their home. It is mid-summer and I am wearing a short sleeve work shirt. I have tattoos visible on both arms and hands as well as the front of my neck. I also have three piercings in each earlobe as well as my septum and three in my lower lip. There are all currently being filled by clear spacers. I also have shoulder-length hair, a long full beard, stand 6’4″, and am clearly a biker. Generally, patients are a little timid at first when they see me but once they speak to me they are generally more at ease with my appearance and demeanor.)
Me: “Will that be it for you today, ma’am?”
Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”
Me: “Pardon me, ma’am?”
Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos like the saints or scriptures?”
Me: “Well, I suppose because I don’t actively practice any religion, ma’am.”
Woman: “Those things might be acceptable if they were religious.”
Me: “I’ll agree to disagree, ma’am, but then I have to ask, why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”
Woman: “Because the bible says to alter your body’s appearance is a sin! Leviticus says it.”
Me: “I am somewhat familiar with the passages you are referring to, but if you believe that, then why would you ask why I don’t have any religious tattoos, when the bible says that tattoos are a sin?”
Woman: “Well, you are obviously going to go to Hell for your sins, but I thought if you had some scripture instead of those other things you might be forgiven and get to walk with Jesus.”
This story is part of our Tattoo roundup!
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Read the Tattoo roundup!
(My store is right next to a movie theater in a really rich area. The mall mostly caters to wealthy adults, and as such does not have a food court. My store is the only non-sit down food in the mall. I have just closed down for the night. My store front is glass without blinds.)
Group Of Teenagers: *banging on the windows and doors* “Hey! Let us in! We need cookies!”
(They then proceed to pull on the door and make all sorts of noise. Finally I confront them.)
Me: “My store is closed. You were aware of this and still you banged on the door and nearly set off the alarm. Now you have left marks all over my windows and doors. You will clean them up now, and then you will leave.”
(I hand them paper towels and window cleaner.)
Lead Teenage Boy: “I don’t have to do that! You can’t make me! What’ll happen if I don’t?”
Me: Well, [Lead Teenage Boy], not only do I know your name, as well as where you live, I can ban you from the store and have security escort you from the property. I can also look at the door carefully and if there is damage, file a report with the police department. I guess you forgot that I used to ride your bus, didn’t you?
(They proceeded to clean up the windows and never banged on my doors again. Believe it or not, they were not the only kids whom I made clean the glass.)
(I am a waiter in a high-class restaurant. In my section is a cute couple, and from the looks and blushing, it appears they’re on their first date. Both have several visible piercings, and from what I can see on the young woman, they both have tattoos. They’re talking quietly to each other, not disturbing anyone. I’m called over to a nearby table with a dining couple in their mid-forties.)
Me: “Yes, ma’am, how may I help you?”
Diner: *loudly* “I want that disrespectful couple out!”
(The diner points to the other couple. Both look up.)
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”
Diner: “Look at them! They’re disgusting! That woman shouldn’t be seen in public!”
(I see the young woman’s head go down.)
Diner: “And that man should be ashamed! They’re ruining the entire atmosphere!”
(Now both of the couple are looking at their plates. I can barely hear the young woman mumble to her date.)
Young Woman: “Maybe we should go…”
(Both start to stand. I motion for them to sit. I turn back to the loud diner.)
Me: “Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you and your husband to leave.”
Diner: *scoffs* “What for?!”
Me: “For disturbing the peace, and ‘ruining the atmosphere.’ I will escort you to the door.”
Diner: “You can’t do that!”
Me: “Alright, I’ll go get my manager and have him escort you out.”
(Sure enough, my manager agrees with me and makes the older couple leave.)
Woman: “You’ve just lost your best customers, you heathen!”
(The young couple thank me, and they get 10% off their check for their troubles. They come back every couple of months, requesting me. The last time they come in, there is a decent-sized rock on the young woman’s finger.)
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