Coworker: “Yes, miss. I understand it’s an emergency, But let me ask my coworker. He probably knows what you’re looking for!”

Me: “What’s going on?”

Coworker: “This woman was sent in looking for an item. She said it’s called a… a… something capacitor.”

Me: “Well, we don’t really carry any capacitors here. That’s more of a true electronics store thing.”

Customer: “Please, it’s my son’s birthday and my husband says that we desperately need to find a 120-volt flux capacitor for my son’s Xbox!”

Me: “Ma’am, unless you have a Mr. Fusion, I don’t know where you’re gonna need something like that.”

Customer: “What do you mean? My husband said this was an emergency! I have been to three stores and no one knows what I’m talking about!”

Me: *laughs* “Well, your husband sent you for a part to a time machine.”

Customer: “I am going to kill that man!”

This story is part of the Pranks roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Strange Stories About Customer Conspiracy Theorists

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Customer: “What time is check-in at your hotel?”

Me: “3 pm.”

Customer: “And check out?”

Me: “11 am.”

Customer: “Okay, so we got four hours.”

Me: “Um, yeah…”

(The guy asks for a couple of beef brisket sandwiches, but has not specified the type of bread.)

Me: “Sir, what type of bread would you like with your sandwiches?”

Customer: “Uh…”

Me: “We have wheat, rye, white, sourdough, nine-grain…”

Customer: “Do you have that one, you know, the square kind?”

(I’m working a graveyard shift. It’s 3:00 am and a girl comes in, obviously more than mildly inebriated.)

Customer: “Umm… so, I came in here an hour ago and bought a Pepsi, and I, like, took a drink of it just now, and there was, like, a hair in the Pepsi. Can I get another one for free?”

Me: “Do you mean there was a hair in the bottle when you drank it?”

Customer: “No, um, like, I took a drink, and one of my hairs got in my mouth at the same time, and I guess I bit it off and drank it, too, and that was really gross so I, like, threw the Pepsi away.”

Me: “So you swallowed your own hair, and you want me to pay for your Pepsi to make up for it?”

Customer: “Exactly! I’m sooooo glad you understand me!”

Me: “Um, no. You’re gonna have to pay, actually.”

Customer: “Aww, I knew that wouldn’t work. I told him that wouldn’t work. He, like, told me I was cute enough that you’d give me free stuff, but I knew it wouldn’t work. Oh, well. I’ll pay, I guess!”

(She goes to the cooler and starts tapping on the lids of various bottles with her finger, before deciding on one half-way back on the rack, requiring her to take a dozen bottles off before getting to hers, and coming to the counter with it, leaving the rest on the floor.)

Me: “Um… what were you doing?”

Customer: “Checking for a fresh one! They, like, sound different! You work here; you should totally know that! You’re not very good at your job, are you?”

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(I witnessed from one of the checkout lines.)

Customer: “Do you have COD 4?”

Employee: “Call of Duty 4? Yes, we–”

Customer: “No, no, no, not Call Of Duty 4. COD 4!”

Employee: “Sir, COD 4 stands for Call Of Duty 4…”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t! The customer is always right! Now bring me a copy of COD 4 right now!”

This story is part of the Bad-Gamer-Customer-themed roundup!

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