(I am talking to my coworker about movies.)
Coworker: “I really like horror movies. To look at me you’d think I liked pop music and girly movies but I really like horror.”
Me: “So do you like Hitchcock, then?”
Coworker: “I haven’t seen that one, actually.”
Me: “…”
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(A young male clerk is helping me shop for sneakers.)
Me: “Hmmm, I like these sneakers but I think they might be just a little bit too big. Do you have them in a half-size smaller?”
Clerk: “Well, how old are you?”
Me: *confused*
Clerk: “…because you might still have a bit more growing to do.”
Me: “Uh, I’m 35.”
Clerk: *awkward silence*
(He then went out to the back to find a different size shoe. I was left feeling completely baffled.)
(I overhear two employees talking. It’s mid-July and it has been extremely hot and humid this particular week.)
Employee #1: “So I was pushing carts outside and [Boss] saw me and told me to stop sweating so much.”
Employee #2: “Sooo… [Boss] wants you not to work so hard?”
Employee #1: “I guess?”
(I go into a coffee shop with my mum and grandma. One of the baristas has a promotional t-shirt on advertising their new raspberry and white chocolate frappé. A different barista serves us.)
Me: “Hi, can I get a raspberry and white chocolate frappé, please?”
Barista: “I’m sorry, we don’t do those. We only have plain chocolate ones.”
Me: “Oh, okay. I only asked because I saw it on his t-shirt.”
Barista: “That was part of a promotion which has ended. We do a raspberry and white chocolate one, though?”
Me: “Isn’t that exactly what I just said…?”
(I’m at a well-known ticket booth in Times Square to buy Broadway tickets for myself and a friend. My friend is particular about getting close seats.)
Me: “I’d like two tickets to [Show]. Do I have any choice about the location of the seats?”
Employee: “Well, the computer automatically gives ‘best available.’ But if you want, I can give you ‘worst available.'”
Me: “…”
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