I work at a not so well known sub store that makes pizzas as well. This was on a busy day and everyone was already annoyed and tired. A women walks up and this was the exchange.

Me: “Hello, can we make anything for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, What is on your pepperoni pizzas?”

(I paused for a second to hold in my laughter.)

Me: “Uhh, pepperonis and cheese… and sauce.”

Customer: “Oh, okay thank you.”

(I work as a kennel assistant at a veterinary hospital. My job is mostly walking dogs, cleaning, feeding, basic grooming, and otherwise wrangling our patients. The receptionists give us a buzz when they need somebody to come up front to get a pet that’s boarding or being groomed.)

Receptionist: *as I’m approaching* We’ve got a nail trim.

(In the lobby, an owner is holding a puppy and hands her to me.)

Owner: This is [Dog]. Nails as short as possible, please!

(I carry the puppy back towards Treatment, where we have medical and grooming setups, and one of the vet techs is available to help cut nails while I hold the puppy.)

Vet Tech: *examining the puppy’s feet* Hmm, this dog doesn’t even need its nails trimmed, look.

(She turns one foot so I can see the nail is worn down from walking, with about two millimeters of nail before the quick – in short, the puppy has the ideal nails already. I take her back up to her owner.)

Me: [Dog] didn’t even need a trim, her nails are already really short.

Owner: Wait, really?

Me: *shows her the dog’s nail from the side* That pink area there is the quick. We can’t take any more nail off without it hurting.

Owner: Okay… Oh, I think one of her nails was splitting. Can you have a look at that?

(We hadn’t noticed a problem, but we hadn’t examined all eighteen toes individually. I quickly made eye contact with one of the receptionists before responding.)

Me: That’s really something you should have a doctor look at.

Owner: Really?

Receptionist: If you come over here, I can see if there’s a doctor available to have a quick look!

Owner: *wanders over to receptionist*

(The whole encounter was a bit exasperating, but we’ve seen some ridiculous things at the vet. Some people just seem oblivious about matted fur, seeping infections, jaundice, or even what constitutes a medical emergency!)

A customer comes to the store explaining they are struggling to order online, our customers services have sent her a new password and her user name. I write down her details and ask her to type them in.
Me ‘if you just type your username and password into the boxes’
Customer ‘is the J a capital’
Me ‘yes all of the letters are capitals’
Customer ‘how do i know if I typed a capital 5 or not’

(I work in a popular ice cream shop which typically has a lot of customers, especially in the summer. It’s been a long day and my brain is only properly comprehending how to scoop up ice cream.)

Customer: *walks in with his son, orders ice cream*

Me: *rings him up, total is $4.20*

Me: That’ll be four-twenty, please!

Customer: *hands me a ten dollar bill*

Me: *begins getting his change*

Customer: Oh! Here’s twenty cents!

By now I’m sorta peed off because he was a little bit rude in the beginning of when he came in, but I took the twenty cents hesitantly, dropped all of my change, and oddly enough, could not figure out what the heck I owe him. I pick up a five dollar bill and a dollar, and try to hand it to him.

Customer: Oh, no, no, the dollar is extra. It’s okay! It’s been a long day, don’t worry!

Me: … Okay! Have a nice day, sir. *I put the dollar back*

Five minutes later, guess who comes back?

Customer: Hey. You said the ice cream was four twenty, right?

Me: Yes, sir.

Customer: And I gave you ten twenty.

Me: *knowing where this is going* Yes, sir.

Customer: So you owe me..?

Me: *is kinda baffled with the fact that he’s testing my math skins on a burning hot day while there are customers waiting* Uh…

Customer: Hmm? *awkward silence* You owe me a dollar!

Me: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. It’s been a long day. Give me just a moment!

I walk over to my coworker who is working the register at the moment, and I open the register with the key right when she finishes. I grab the dollar and give it to the guy. He seemed really upset with the fact that I tried to give him his change at first and he didn’t take it.

*in Drive Thru*

Me: “…And so that’s $9.20, thanks*

Customer: *hands me a $5 note* How much more do I owe you?”

Me: “$4.20.”

Customer: *smirking* “How much?”

Me: “4.20.”

*Cue the whole car laughing their heads off on how funny that is*