When A Simple Salad Isn’t

, , , , | | Right | July 14, 2019

(I work in a well-known sub shop. It’s set up where the customer goes down the counter and tells us what meats, cheeses, and veggies they want. A middle-aged woman approaches the counter to place her order.)

Customer: “I would like a turkey sub without the bread, please. Everything else on it but the bread.”

Me: “Well, uh… I’m not really sure how to do that, but I could make you a salad?”

Customer: “No! I need a sub without the bread. I can’t eat bread. I’m allergic to bread.”

Me: “Is it okay if I put your vegetables in a bowl with the turkey and cheese on top, then?”

Customer: “Yes. That’s all I really wanted. Why did you have to make this so difficult?”

A Free Sandwich Actually Costs Time

, , , , , , | | Right | May 7, 2019

(It’s almost time to close at the sub shop I’m working at. A lady I estimate to be in her 60s comes in with a coupon to buy a sub and any drink to get the next sub free, which we allow. This is what ensues.)

Me: “Hello. What can I get started for you?”

Customer: “I have this coupon.” *reads off coupon* “So, I want a six-inch [sandwich #1] on [bread], and a six-inch [sandwich #2] on [bread]. Make sure you toast the bread thoroughly; I can’t stand [Store] bread when it’s not toasted.”

(I ask what cheese she wants and get ready to put them in the toaster. As I open the toaster she says:)

Customer: “Wait, what are you doing?! I want the bread toasted; I told you I can’t stand [Store] bread when it’s not toasted.”

Me: “Well, our standard protocol when toasting sandwiches is to have the meat and cheese on already so everything gets cooked.”

Customer: “No, no, no, just toast the bread, or it won’t get cooked thoroughly. I know your ovens; they don’t cook the bread if it has everything on it.”

Me: “All right.”

(I toast the bread twice bare and once more with the meats on them. The bread is very much darker at this point, but not burnt. Vegetables go fine, no issues there, but every so often she gets angry and impolite when she has issues with the way I’m doing things, and then she switches back to normal behavior. We get to the checkout process. She has two sandwiches and a drink which qualify for the coupon, and she also has a bag of chips and another drink.)

Customer: “How much extra will it be if I buy a [bottled drink] instead of a cup?”

Me: “Can you read what your coupon says so I can check?”

Customer: *ignores my question and asks the same question in a more hostile tone*

(I ask her to read the coupon again; she does so.)

Me: “All right, since it specifies any drink, the price would be the same.”

Customer: “Good.”

(I enter her items into the register and she sees the total on her side.)

Customer: “Wait, what? Why is it [price]? It should only be [price a few dollars less].”

Me: “Well, the first sandwich and the first drink are normal price, which makes the second sandwich free, and the system sees the second chips and drink as a meal with the second sandwich, so it discounts them even though the second sandwich is still free.”

Customer: “No, it still should be [lower price]. I think you’re doing it wrong.”

(We have this circular argument about three more times. Meanwhile, other customers are waiting and I am running out of time to start closing procedures.)

Me: “Would you like me to explain how that coupon works one more time?”

Customer: “I don’t care how the coupon works; it still should only be [lower price]!”

(I have no other way to explain to her the prices and calculations, so I just tell her each of the prices, and I am surprised to see her take one of our napkins and start doing the math herself. She then asks me to confirm each of the prices in a not-so-polite manner. This goes on for about five more minutes. She then realizes…)

Customer: “I might be doing the math wrong.”

Me: “All right, so we’re all clear here?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “All right, here’s your receipt. Have a good night.”

Customer: *jokingly* “I wonder where my son gets all his nagging from.”

(We finished up there, she left, and I apologized to the next customers for the wait. This whole exchange cost me twenty minutes and was a contributing factor in our late departure at the end of the night. Not once did she apologize, but maybe she forgot to…)

Unfiltered Story #147158

, , | Unfiltered | April 18, 2019

I’m making sandwiches on the line. A coworker has just changed the trash in the dining room.

Customer: reaches all the way into the trashcan and pulls the bottom of the empty bag up through the hole in the top of the receptacle.

Customer (to coworker): “How do you expect me to throw my trash away?”

Coworker: “Um, sir, you did that yourself. I just saw you.”

Customer: puts bag back, throws trash away and leaves without another word.

Changed The Situation

, , , , | Right | March 28, 2019

(I work in a sub shop. There are a lot of shady people in this part of town. Most are rough around the edges, but despite this, you get customers that make you panic. It’s a very hot summer day, and a customer walks in wearing a thick coat, with his hand in his pocket, clearly holding something bulky with weight. This already sets off a few red flags for me. The customer walks in but doesn’t join the lineup, rather just starts pacing around the cash register. His eyes are constantly shifting between all the people in the store, though he refuses to make direct eye contact.)

Me: “Hello. If you’re going to be getting something I need you to join the rest of the lineup.”

Customer: *ignores my statement*

(I start trying to finish orders so other customers can leave the store ASAP; they also seem to be getting nervous about this person. As soon as I finish the last customer, while my coworker rings them through the till, I start stepping around the corner to grab my phone and keep an eye on the situation. The customer proceeds to walk up to the register, hand still on whatever is in his pocket. My coworker and I exchange a nervous glance.)

Customer: *quickly pulls an item from pocket* “Hi, I would like to get some cash for these rolls of coins.”

(My coworker and I looked at the thirty or so full rolls of change. This is what he’d had in his pocket, to our collective relief. After we made the exchange, we talked to each other about how we had both thought it was a gun.)

Yule Regret That

, , , , | Right | December 23, 2018

(I am working around Christmas time, just minding my own business, when a lady comes in that used to be friends with my family. For a while, my family and I had gone to the same church as this woman, but it’s been a long time since I went to church. After the transaction is over and she’s leaving, I cheerfully wish her a “Happy holidays!” after which she all but runs over to me.)

Lady: *whispering conspiratorially* “Honey, I know that they make you say that, but you can say the real holiday to me. You don’t have to be all PC.”

Me: “You know, you’re right.”

Lady: *visibly brightens* “Merry Christmas!”

Me: “Have a happy Yule and a merry Winter Solstice.”

(All of a sudden, she made a you-betrayed-me face and ran away. Guess she forgot there’s more than one “real” holiday this time of year, including the pagan ones.)

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