Unfiltered Story #107063

, , | Unfiltered | March 12, 2018

(I own a sub shop and ask every customer how their day is, this one was exceptional, this customer is a regular and not at all friendly usually grumpy!)

Me: “How are you this evening?”

Customer: “Fat, thanks for asking.”

(Not a smile on his face he ordered his sub and left and I am still laughing.)

The Sauce Of Their Confusion, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | February 5, 2018

(At my gas station, we have a small sub shop. This happens one busy night when I hop over to help the deli worker.)

Me: “Can I get you folks anything?”

Customer: “What’s the CBR?”

Me: “That’s our Chicken Bacon Ranch.”

Customer: “So, what’s in it?”

Me: “Um… chicken strips, bacon, and ranch dressing.”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “So, it has, like, hot sauce on it?”

Me: “…”

The Sauce Of Their Confusion

Unfiltered Story #102076

, , , | Unfiltered | December 21, 2017

I am working with my manager and the closers, and he is trying to explain how to tell what sauce goes in what sauce bottle when he comes up with this gem:

“It’s not the size of the top that matters- it’s the size of the hole in the bottom.”

A Blend Of Bad Ideas

, , , , , , , | Working | December 6, 2017

My husband and I go to a local sub shop to get lunch because, although their food is far from tasty, they have bubble tea, which I adore.

I order a strawberry one, and we sit and chat while they prep our food. We grab it and leave, and I take a slurp of my bubble tea and get a mouthful of milk.

We go back in and I tell the gal that there has been some sort of mistake. She explains casually, as if it makes total sense, “Oh, yeah. Our blender broke yesterday, so I had to just put the ingredients [ice, milk, strawberries] in the cup with the tapioca, without blending it first.”

She fights me about getting a refund, too, asking me what I expect her to do without a working blender. I expect her to tell customers they can’t get any bubble tea because the blender’s broken, obviously, rather than charge people $6 for a cup of milk with stuff floating in it!

Not Eggsactly Dairy

| VA, USA | Working | August 1, 2017

(We had just gotten a special order for a sandwich without cheese, with the customer telling us she had lactose intolerance. After having made and sent out the sub, our shift lead comes up with this gem:)

Shift Lead: “So I was wondering something. She said she’s lactose intolerant, right?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s probably why she didn’t want cheese.”

Shift Lead: “But she still got the mayo.”

Me: “Yeah…?”

Shift Lead: “Mayo has eggs in it.”

Me: “…okay. What does that have to do with lactose intolerance?”

Shift Lead: “Well… I mean I know sometimes eggs bother me so…”

Me: “I’m still not sure what one has to do with the other. Mayo doesn’t have milk in it.”

Shift Lead: “Yeah, but it has eggs!”

Me: “That still has nothing to do with lactose intolerance.”

Shift Lead: “…”

(My best guess is she thought eggs were a form of dairy. I guess that means I’ll have to start watching out for egg shells next time I have a glass of milk.)

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