A Blend Of Bad Ideas

, , , , , , , | Working | December 6, 2017

My husband and I go to a local sub shop to get lunch because, although their food is far from tasty, they have bubble tea, which I adore.

I order a strawberry one, and we sit and chat while they prep our food. We grab it and leave, and I take a slurp of my bubble tea and get a mouthful of milk.

We go back in and I tell the gal that there has been some sort of mistake. She explains casually, as if it makes total sense, “Oh, yeah. Our blender broke yesterday, so I had to just put the ingredients [ice, milk, strawberries] in the cup with the tapioca, without blending it first.”

She fights me about getting a refund, too, asking me what I expect her to do without a working blender. I expect her to tell customers they can’t get any bubble tea because the blender’s broken, obviously, rather than charge people $6 for a cup of milk with stuff floating in it!

Not Eggsactly Dairy

| VA, USA | Working | August 1, 2017

(We had just gotten a special order for a sandwich without cheese, with the customer telling us she had lactose intolerance. After having made and sent out the sub, our shift lead comes up with this gem:)

Shift Lead: “So I was wondering something. She said she’s lactose intolerant, right?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s probably why she didn’t want cheese.”

Shift Lead: “But she still got the mayo.”

Me: “Yeah…?”

Shift Lead: “Mayo has eggs in it.”

Me: “…okay. What does that have to do with lactose intolerance?”

Shift Lead: “Well… I mean I know sometimes eggs bother me so…”

Me: “I’m still not sure what one has to do with the other. Mayo doesn’t have milk in it.”

Shift Lead: “Yeah, but it has eggs!”

Me: “That still has nothing to do with lactose intolerance.”

Shift Lead: “…”

(My best guess is she thought eggs were a form of dairy. I guess that means I’ll have to start watching out for egg shells next time I have a glass of milk.)

Seasoned With Laughter

, , , | Friendly | June 1, 2017

(I’m known as the picky eater in my friend group. I never get anything on my sandwiches, no seasoning or anything. On this occasion, I go to get a sandwich from a restaurant where my friend works.)

Friend: *quietly* “I need to tell you something, but I need to wait for the other customers to leave.”

Me: “Okay…?”

(I’m very confused as to what he’s talking about. The other customers leave and his manager walks into the back room.)


(It took me a few minutes to stop laughing and actually get my sandwich made.)

Going To Great Lengths

| Denver, CO, USA | Right | May 18, 2017

(In this business you get two choices on how big you want your sub to be. There is a foot long and the smaller six-inch version.)

Me: “Hello.”

Cashier: “Hello, what kind of sub would you like?”

Me: “Italian bread, six inch foot-long.”

(The cashier stares at me with a confused look.)

Me: “An Italian bread, six-inch foot-long.”

Cashier: “Uh…”

(I am start to try to figure out what’s wrong to no avail. About one minute of awkward staring has gone by when the cashier speaks up.)

Cashier: “There are foot-longs and then there are six inch. It’s impossible to do both.”

Me: “Wait, what…”

(My brain finally starts working again.)

Me: “Sorry, I want a foot-long.”

Wants To Reconsider Everything

| Navarre, FL, USA | Right | November 21, 2016

(I work at a sub shop which is pretty pricey. I’m working cash and this gentleman comes in.)

Me: “Hey, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “I’d like a medium white sandwich with everything.”

Me: “Okay! What meat would you like?”

Customer: “Everything.”

Me: “Um, sure. Just to let you know, there’s an upcharge so—”

Customer: *cutting in* “Did I stutter? Do you even speak English? Everything!”

(This is where this customer begins to piss me off. I begin ringing him up for a sandwich with everything. Note that he can see what I’m ringing up as well as the price tally.)

Me: “All right, that sandwich comes to $21.37.”

Customer: “Twenty one dollars for a damn sandwich?!”

Me: *looking him straight in the eyes* “Everything.”

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