(A MAJOR thunderstorm is moving through the area: torrential downpours and even some hail. Lightning has recently struck a transformer near our store, knocking out the power. Shortly after, our emergency generator kicks in to keep the lights running, but since the Internet is down our registers are offline and essentially useless. It is still storming when a customer starts banging on the closed doors.)

Customer: We have a heavy photocopier in our car we want to return. Can someone come help us bring it in?

Me: Unfortunately we’ve just lost power and all of our registers are down right now. We don’t know when they’ll come back on, so we can’t process a return right now.

Customer: But the lights are on, you must have power.

Me: We’re running off a generator to keep the lights on, but it doesn’t power the network our registers run on.

(At this point my manager comes up behind me.)

Customer: So I dragged this heavy box all the way here in the pouring rain and you won’t return it?

Manager: It’s not that I WON’T return it, it’s that I CAN’T. It’s out of my hands.

Customer: Well I am VERY unimpressed with your customer service. I can’t believe you made me drag it ALL the way here from (town about 30 minutes away). This is ridiculous!

(The customer continued to stand and argue with us for another half hour before we finally closed for good. They left with the photocopier, still telling us all about how “horrendous” our customer service was.)

A customer is buying a fame. It has the size printed on it in both Imperial and Metric units.

Customer: Is this 16 inches by 20 or 40.6 centimeters by 50.8?

(To be fair, they realized their mistake right away, but still….)

(I work as a host at a popular chain restaurant. We have very busy weekends, and as a result, usually have a rather long waitlist, which can reach 30-40 minutes during peak hours. As a result, we often try to compromise with larger groups so we can seat more efficiently without having to skip around on the list. On this particular day, a larger group came in just as we’d seated several smaller groups, and we didn’t foresee being able to push adjacent tables together for them for at least another 15-20 minutes. This is the exchange the head of that group had with one of my co-workers.)

Co-worker: Sir? We wanted to ask if your group would be okay with being split between a few booths. They’re right next to each other. If so, we’d be able to seat you right now. Otherwise, it will probably be a few more minutes.

Customer: A booth? Like with the little walls around it?

Co-worker: Yes, sir.

Customer: Oh. No, we don’t want that.

(With this noted, we continue to move down the list and seat smaller groups in those available booths. A minute later, the head of the larger group approaches our host stand.)

Customer: Hey, what’s with this? I was here first and now I’m getting skipped over. You have tables available and I’m not getting seated!

Co-worker: Sir, we don’t have a table large enough to seat your party at this time. We’re working on getting two tables we can push together.

(He grumbles and goes back to his seat. Not sure why he thought we weren’t going to seat those open tables he didn’t want.)

(The museum I work at has a motion simulator that guests have to pay to ride. Some people don’t quite understand how it works, but this is the most unique question I have been asked.)

Guest: “I have a question about the motion simulator.”

Me: “Okay?”

Guest: “Do all the seats move?”

Me: “…”

(I work drive thru during the night shift at a fairly busy fast food chain. At 10pm our dinning room closes and drive thru is open until 12am)

*Drive thru beeps around 11:55pm*

Me: Thank you for choosing (name of place) my name is (my name) how may I help you?

Customer: *with attitude* can you just hold on one moment?

Me: Yeah! Just let me know whenever you’re ready

*two minutes pass*

Me: Can I help you find anything?

Customer: I’m ready I’ve just been waiting on you

Me: Oh, my apologies. Go ahead

*customer then orders three sandwiches, four free water cups and pulls away before I can give him his total*

Me: *opens window* that will be $6.87

Customer: NO! I asked for FREE water. F R E E

Me: yes and you were not charged for the water, the food cost $6.87

Customer: why does it cost so much then?

(at this point my manger is standing near me prepping to close and doing his counts)

Me: the sandwiches are $2.29 and you ordered three, correct?

Customer: NO NO NO! The menu said $1.99!

Me: Yes, thats the price without cheese, you wanted to add cheese which is thirty cents per sandwich.

Customer: Whatever I’ll pay for the stupid cheese

(At this point I’m thinking “well yeah, you want cheese you have to pay for it? Thats how it works” but I just cash him out with a smile and hand him his food. At this point it is 12am and we are closed)

(Not even five minutes later the drive thru beeps)

Me: I’m sorry, we are now closed and can no longer serv-

Customer from before: I WAS JUST HERE AND I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO A F***ING MANAGER

(My manager then takes over the drive thru headset)

Manger: How can I help you?

Customer: That B*TCH forgot my fries and cookies

(Manger pulls up the order on the screen)

Manager: Sir, you were not charged for fries or cookies. Just three sandwiches

Customer: I demand to have my fries and cookies!

Manager: Since you were not charged and since we are now closed, I can not give you either of those items

Customer: Well f*ck you and that dumb b*tch. I want my food. I WILL be back *he then drives away from the speaker*

(I walk to the back to put away my headset and when I went back to the front I caught the guy taking apart his food and throwing it at the window. At that point all I could do was lock the window and laugh)