i work at a donut shop and today was national donut day. All morning i had customers actually complaining that they were getting free donuts.

(I work at hotel, and as I’m checking in these older ladies, they want directions to some place, and decided they were going to walk there since it was just a 5 min drive down the road.)
It had started raining a few hours later and I get a call from the ladies.
Lady: “So, we decided not to walk, and I don’t wanna drive my car, so what can we do?”
I’m thinking, “What do you mean you don’t know what you can do?”
Me: “Uhm, I guess I can call you a cab? Or you can try Lyft or Uber?”
Lady: *speaking to her friends* “She said she can call us a cab!”
Me: *sigh, thinking “damnit”* “Yeah I can do that for you no problem…it’ll be a few”
Lady: “Okay, thanks, bye!” *hangs up phone*
I’m thinking “Jesus Lord have mercy…do people not know how to get their own cabs? And why in the world can’t she drive her car 5 mins down the road?”
Smh.

In the Netherlands, we have Social Housing, meaning houses (for rent) for people with lower incomes. There’s nothing special about the homes; they are just regular houses at a lower price. There’s a years-long waiting-list, up to 12 years if you’re unlucky. People often call us if we have houses to spare, but we are not allowed to ‘give houses away’. All houses are distributed through a Housing System, to insure no one gets special treatment (though you can claim urgency if you are in a very urgent situation, but that’s unimportant for this story.)

Me: You are speaking with [Name], how may I help you?

Caller: Yes, I saw an advertisement about [House], but you made a mistake with the price. It’s [price way too high, imagine 7000 euros instead of 700 euros) for a month’s rent.

Me: I see. I’m checking it right now and I see the mistake. Thank you for telling us, of course we’ll change it rightaway! Can I help you with anything else?

Caller: So, can I get that house now?

Me: I’m sorry?

Caller: I told you about the mistake. Will I get that house because I’m notifying you of your mistake?

Me: *I’m not certain if she’s joking* Oh, I’m sorry, we’re not allowed to give houses away. If only! Then we could make so many people happy! All houses must be distributed through [Housing System].

Caller: *sounds upset* Well, then why did I bother telling you about this? Next time I won’t take the effort and time to tell you!

Me: I’m really glad you did, Miss. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Caller: Well, I guess not!

Me: I’m sorry I couldn’t help you. I wish you a nice day nonetheless.

Caller: Yeah, bye.

To this day, I still don’t know if she was joking or honestly thought she would be pulled all the way to the front of the massive waiting list, just because she told us about a typo.

I’m the dumb customer in this story:

When Bill Bryson’s “Notes From A Small Island” first came out, I wanted to buy a copy for my step-mother.

I went into a bookstore and, not remembering the title, asked the woman behind the counter something like “I’m after… um… Small Island. A book about Great Britain.”

The woman pointed to a display of the books, less than a metre away, and almost as tall as me.

I faced my palm, bought the book and left.

I called a well-known internet service provider to ask some questions about their service bundles, and the woman who answered the call was obviously working from another country, and when I started to ask my questions she stopped me and said.
“Before we get started, I need to ask you some questions about your location to see if we have bundles available, my name is LOIS LANE and I will be…”

Naturally I stopped her and asked her to repeat her name and she said,

“My name is LOIS LANE, spelled L-O-I-S L-A-N-E”

After that I hung up on her, speechless. I told my friends and family and they could not help but to laugh at my encounter.