(I’m working front counter after a certain Monopoly promotion has just ended.)
Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”
Customer: *hands me a Monopoly piece flipped down so I can’t see what it is* “I want this.”
Me: *looks at it* “Ma’am, I’m sorry but I can’t give you Pacific Avenue.”
(I have to say, that did make my day better.)
(We sell games and toys. Because of our convenient location in the shopping center, customers often wander in looking for products we don’t carry. The most commonly asked-for items are calendars, greeting cards, souvenirs, and candy. A middle-aged woman walks in on a Saturday afternoon.)
Coworker: “Welcome!”
Customer: “Do you just sell games?”
Coworker: “Um, yep, games!”
Customer: “Oh. Because I was just looking for… like a baptismal bonnet.”
Me: “Oh, sorry. No, we don’t sell clothing.”
(The customer leaves.)
Me: *to coworker* “I think that tops the list of strange things people have asked for!”
(I work second shift, so I get home around 1:00 am. It’s summer, so there’s no school, but teens still have a city curfew of 11:00 pm. I’m turning left onto my street after work, and I almost hit a teen who was crossing the street behind a stopped car, who I didn’t see until I was almost on top of him. Mr. Big Man flips me off, which I see in my rearview mirror. He must’ve watched which driveway I pulled into, because I get an unexpected visit the next morning at 9:00 am, when I’m pulled out of bed by a knock. I open the door, half asleep, to see a cop and the boy standing at my door.)
Cop: “Good morning. Is that your car outside?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Cop: “Did you hit this boy with that car last night?”
Me: “No.”
Teen: “She’s lying! Arrest her!”
Cop: *to the teen* “Shush.” *to me* “He says you did. How about we go to the station and get this cleared up?”
(The teen starts looking quite smug.)
Me: “Sure. Should I also bring along the dash cam video that shows this minor out after curfew, crossing the street in a dark area, and staring down at his phone the entire time, up until I almost hit him?”
(The teen’s smug face drops. The cop studies me for a couple of seconds, and then just gives me a single nod.)
Cop: “Thank you, that won’t be necessary. When my dear nephew here—“ *raises his hand to grasp the back of the teen’s neck* “—told me a car practically ran him off the road, I figured I’d better look into it. But I believe you, and I’ll make sure he has plenty to do to stay busy until school resumes. Have a nice day, miss.”
(They left, the cop still holding tight to his nephew’s neck, while the boy started begging his uncle to NOT tell Mom or his grandparents about this. Good luck, kid!)
(It is during the 2016 presidential election. I work in the office of a small trucking business. All of the office work is handled by me and an older lady with whom I get along quite well. One day, one of the truckers comes into the house to talk to her and gets on the subject of politics. It’s clear they’re both conservative Republicans; I’m a very liberal Democrat, so I keep my head down and don’t get involved.)
Trucker: “So, are you voting for Trump?”
Older Lady: “No, he’s awful!”
Trucker: “What, so you’re voting for Hillary?
Older Lady: “No! But Trump isn’t any better.”
(They get into a heated argument about Trump, with him trying to convince her to vote for Trump. She stands her ground and eventually, he leaves. A few minutes later, I come over with some documents for her.)
Older Lady: *flustered* “Oh, I’m sorry, dear. I really hope I didn’t offend you. I don’t mean to offend anyone, I just–“
Me: “Oh, don’t worry; I hate Trump, too. I don’t like Hillary, either, but Trump acts like a four-year-old child, and I don’t want a four-year-old child for president.”
Older Lady: *gasps* “Oh! That’s good! I should’ve said that!”
(I work in a beauty store that sells hair, makeup, skincare, and bath products. I have been complimented in the past on my friendly service and my willingness to help customers. A lady has come in asking for good-quality makeup brushes that aren’t too pricey.)
Me: *showing her our selection of lower-priced brushes* “I have had good luck with the [Brand] brushes, and they are a lower price point, as well.”
Customer: “These brushes are s***. I have used them before. What else do you have?”
Me: *pointing out another brand next to the brushes I just showed her* “These ones are nice, too. I have heard many good things about them.”
Customer: “Those aren’t what I’m looking for.”
Me: “Okay. We have many brands and types of brushes in the store, so I am sure we can find you something. What kind of brush do you have in mind?”
Customer: “Ones for eyeshadow.”
Me: “Do you prefer the fluffy ones for blending, or the stiffer ones for application?”
Customer: *getting exasperated* “I don’t know! Just show me what else you have.”
(After showing the customer all the brands in the store that are of okay-quality and cheaper than others, she still was not satisfied with any. They were either too expensive or not of good enough quality.)
Me: “Some brands are a bit pricier because they are of better quality. The same holds true with many products. I have showed you the makeup brushes we carry that are lower prices, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to splurge on a brush that you might be more satisfied with.”
Customer: “I should not have to pay that much for a f****** eyeshadow brush. That’s ridiculous!”
Me: “I know that some are out of the price range that you are looking to spend, but we do guarantee all of our products. If you try it and don’t like it, you can bring it back to us.”
Customer: “I live all the way in [City]. I am not coming back here to return a brush I don’t like!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I have showed you all the brands that are in your budget range, and none are what you are looking for. I am not sure how to help you.”
Customer: “You people are supposed to be helpful! I came in here looking for something, and you are just going to turn me away?!”
Me: “That is not my intent. I am just not sure what it is you are looking for.”
Customer: “I am looking for a good makeup brush that is cheap. Apparently, that’s too much to ask.”
Me: “I apologize, but I have already showed you all the inexpensive makeup brushes in the store, and none are to your liking. I wish there was something I could do for you.”
Customer: “You know what? Fine! This is the worst customer service I have ever gotten! I’ll look somewhere else where someone might actually be able to help me!”
(She stormed off and gave me the finger as she left.)
