(I work at a restaurant that has just sent out coupons in the mail. The only reason I know these coupons exist is because I have gotten some in the mail myself. The coupons say clearly, in large print, “Only usable Monday through Friday, 8:00 am to 1:00 pm.” These are our slowest times so I guess the owner is trying to make those times more appealing. One Saturday night, — SATURDAY NIGHT — the following phone call takes place at this restaurant.)
Me: *on the phone* “Hello. Thanks for calling [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Hi. My family and I were thinking about coming to your place tonight for dinner. We just got coupons in the mail, and I wanted to make sure that we were going to be able to use them.”
Me: “Do they say they’re only usable Monday through Friday, 8:00 am to 1:00 pm?”
Caller: *hesitantly* “Yes.”
Me: “Then… No?”
(Then, he hung up on me.)
Me: “Good talk!”
(Two women are eating salads at my bar. One woman finishes eating way faster than the other.)
Me: “Wow, someone was hungry.”
Woman #1: “Yeah, I hadn’t eaten today and I was famished.”
Woman #2: “Wow, you did eat fast. You really ran on a train on that salad.”
Me: “I… um… don’t think you’re using that phrase right.”
Woman #1: “She definitely isn’t. Don’t tell her; I’ll show her later.”
Me: “Um… okay?”
(They pay a little while later and, as they leave…)
Woman #1: “All right, off to show her what it means to run a train on someone!”
Me: “Have… fun?”
(I work as a hostess for a restaurant. We are open on Memorial Day which, apparently, is uncommon. An old lady comes into our restaurant and starts chatting.)
Lady: “I finally found a restaurant that is open today! I have been craving ribs all day but everywhere I went that sells ribs isn’t open, so I had to come here, instead.”
Me: “Oh, well, we actually do sell ribs here.”
Lady: “Oh, you do?”
Me: “Yup, we sell ribs.”
Lady: “Well, I don’t want your ribs!”
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(We have a little display that sells breads, cookies, brownies, etc. Our breads are always labeled. We have banana, banana nut, and cranberry. One customer comes up to me and asks:)
Customer: “What does banana N.U.T. stand for?”
Me: “It has nuts in it.”
Customer: “Oh.”
(I work at a shoe store that has an in door and an out door. I could fill up a couple pages of Not Always Right with stories of people coming in through the out door despite it not having a handle, but this one takes the cake. My manager and I are closing up for the night. We have locked the in door and turned our open sign off. We go to the back to put the money in the safe when we hear:)
Customer: “Hey, are you guys open?!”
(Something to keep in mind here is that the lights were turned off. Anyone with ANY common sense would think we were closed, so I respond with:)
Me: “Uh… no.”
Customer: “Oh. Your door is unlocked.”
Me: “Our out door is unlocked but our in door is locked.”
(The customer turned around and walked off. Seriously, how do you pry open a door with no handle and not realize that the dang store is CLOSED?!)
