Customer: “Do your smoothies have egg whites in them?”
Me: “Yes, the thickening powder contains dry egg whites.”
Customer: “Can you make it without the powder then?”
Me: “Not really, because then your drink would just be orange juice and ice.”
Customer: “Oh, can I have the powder on the side, then?”
Customer: “I think it’s very rude for you to talk on your cellphone while you’re at work.”
Me: “No, ma’am, this isn’t a cellphone; it’s a headset. We use them to communicate with the other employees.”
Customer: “That’s VERY rude.”
Customer: “I bought a computer from you guys not three weeks ago, and my Internet isn’t working.”
Me: “Well, the computer itself seems to be operating perfectly.”
Customer: “It is not working perfectly. I cannot get on the Internet. ”
Me: “I understand that; I just mean while the Internet itself isn’t working, your computer is functioning properly.”
Customer: “My computer is worthless without Internet.”
(Company policy is to direct her to her ISP for further assistance. So I try to get that info from her so I can give her a proper phone number.)
Customer: “Why don’t you just fix it?”
Me: “I’ve run out of things we can try.”
Customer: “What is the ISP going to do?”
Me: “They’ll walk you through a few things, or at least tell you if there is an outage or other problem in your area.”
Customer: “I bought this computer from you, and you should be the ones fixing it.”
Me: “It’s not the computer; it’s the Internet. Unfortunately, we’re not your Internet provider. There’s really nothing more I can do for you.”
Customer: “How much do you charge for Internet?”
Me: “We do not sell Internet.”
Customer: “Then who do I buy my Internet from?”
Me: “I don’t know. [Large Company], perhaps?”
Customer: “I suppose I should order some Internet.”
Me: “You haven’t even signed up for it yet?!”
Customer: “I wanted to do it on the Internet.”
Me: *head explodes*
(I greeted a customer in the ‘C’ section of the CD department.)
Me: “Can I help you find something?”
Customer: “Yeah, I’m trying to find a Red Hot Chili Peppers CD.”
Me: “Well, that would be under ‘R’. I’ll show you.”
Customer: “Oh. I was going to check under ‘H’ next.”
Me: “…”
(I live in a town where 65% of the people are 65 years old and older. When we were redoing the design of the store, they placed a large white walkway from the front door to the pharmacy.)
Customer: “Hi, I would like to pick up my prescription.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is the front of the store. Your prescription is in the back of the store, in the pharmacy.”
Customer: “How do I get there?”
Me: “Follow the white brick road.”
