(Overheard while waiting in line to order Chinese food:)

Customer: *at counter* “…and then I’ll have the spring rolls.” *pulling out his credit card* “So, how long ago did you move here from China?”

Employee: “Oh, I’ve been here for 11 years. But I’m actually not from China; I’m from Taiwan.”

Customer: “Really? Then why aren’t you working at a Thai restaurant?”

(I normally work retail, but I’m the customer in this story. Some friends and I have gone out to eat at about 10 pm. We eat and talk for quite a while, and the waitress brings us our check around 11 pm. My friends continue talking for another forty-five minutes or so. It’s then that I realize how late it’s getting, and that there’s only us and one other table left.)

Me: “You know, we should probably get going soon. It’s getting pretty late.”

(My friends half-heartedly agree, but continue talking. A little while later, another waitress pointedly sweeps up around our table.)

Me: “I’m pretty sure these guys close at 11.”

Friend: “Oh, I bet they have to stay late all the time. This isn’t too bad.”

(A little more time goes by, and I notice that we are now the only table left, and all the workers are sitting at the other end of the restaurant either staring at us or talking quietly among themselves. It’s now after midnight.)

Me: “Okay, guys, we’re the only table left. They’re done cleaning up and want to close. We should probably get going.”

(We finally got up and left. Our waitress quietly thanked us for coming in as she locked the door behind us. The real kicker? The friends were my retail coworkers!)

(Today, I’m working two shifts: one as cashier and one as hostess, for a total of ten hours that day. Typically, we don’t get breaks, because it is not in our state law or company policy. Today, though, my two shifts are scheduled with a half hour free between them so I can have a break. It’s about fifteen minutes until my first shift is up, when my coworker approaches me. She has a five-hour shift that day and has been there for two hours.)

Coworker: “Hey, I talked to [Manager], and she says you need to stay a little after 11:30 so I can eat.”

Me: “Okay, but I have to move over to hosting at 12:00.”

Coworker: “Okay, I’ll be done by noon.”

(I can go 10 hours without eating, but not without drinking anything. We are not allowed to have water with us while we work.)

Me: “But I was planning on taking a break then. From 11:30 to 12:00, I’m not scheduled to work.”

Coworker: “Well, I’m here five hours today and I need to eat.”

(My coworker walks away and then comes back with our manager. I tell her the issue, and ask if it would be possible to have my coworker go on break when the other cashier gets here next hour.)

Manager: “No, she wants to eat now. She’ll be fast!”

(So, my coworker goes on break at 11:20 and then comes back at 11:45.)

Coworker: *annoyed* “Okay, you can go do whatever is so important that you need to do now.”

Me: “Thanks. I’m working ten hours today, and would prefer to be able to seat guests without being dehydrated. It generally makes my work day easier.”

(I didn’t get my 30-minute break, but I guess 15 was better than nothing.)

(We have patronized a particular drive-in restaurant in our hometown for some time. The food is good, but the servers aren’t always the most knowledgeable. On a previous visit, the server forgot some side ingredients for my wife’s taco salad, so they wrote in their book that we were to receive a free one on our next visit. At our next visit:)

Server: *bringing our food to our car* “Okay, your total is [total].”

Me: “And that’s with the taco salad comped, correct?”

Server: *looking at receipt* “Yes!”

(I pay and receive the food and receipt. She leaves, and only then do I notice that we’ve paid for the taco salad. I go back in the restaurant and find the server.)

Me: “I thought you said the taco salad had been comped?”

Server: “It was! See, it’s listed right there on the receipt!” *pointing to the line where the item was listed at its regular price*

Me: “No, it’s supposed to be no charge.”

Server: “Oh… is that what ‘comped’ means? I thought you were asking if you’d ordered it!”

(The restaurant I work for is in a very small town, and as such, we have a devoted group of elderly regulars that are allowed to have a tab because we see them everyday. One day one of the regulars walks in, hands me a blank check, and tells me to hang it up with his tab.)

Me: “[Regular], what is this for? You only have a few dollars on your tab.”

Regular: “Yes, I know, but I just turned 80!”

Me: “Uh?”

Regular: “So, if I die, you can fill that out and pay for my food! I can’t just not pay!”

Me: *shocked* “[Regular], if you die, I don’t think we’ll be worried about a few dollars for eggs!”