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Nickel And Diming Your Way To A Short Drawer

, , | Right | December 6, 2021

I’m working at a movie theater box office in the 80s. A senior citizen comes for the first show.

Me: “Your ticket is $4.95.”

She gives me a $5, then says:

Customer: “Oh hang on!”

She then gives me a nickel.

Customer: “Now you can give me a dollar back.”

I give her her nickel (rather I never take it) and put another nickel down for her change.

Customer: *Insisting.* “No, take my nickel and give me back my dollar!”

Me: “Ma’am, the ticket was $4.95, the change is a nickel.”

She starts throwing a fit and holding up my line, demanding to see the manager. She explains. I explain.

Manager: “Just give her the dollar.”

I did, and of course my drawer was short that night. I was sooooo furious.

Have They Been Introduced To The Refresh Button?

, , | Right | November 26, 2021

I work in a movie theater. A customer approaches me.

Customer: “I looked on your website before I drove twenty kilometres to get here, and it said you were playing [Movie]!”

Me: “We played that movie last week at this time, but we’re not playing it now.”

Customer: “No! I looked at your website before I drove over here! Your website must be faulty.”

I show them our website on my computer screen, and it shows very clearly that we’re not playing [Movie] today.

Customer: “Yeah, it doesn’t say it on your computer, but it does on mine! Someone has to look at this and fix it!”

That’s not how the Internet works.

They Have No Beer Of Being Caught

, , , , , | Right | November 18, 2021

One evening, a group of teenage boys and girls comes to a movie. There are about five girls and six boys, all around fifteen to eighteen years old. Every ten minutes or so, two, three, or four boys come out, head to the men’s room, followed a few minutes later by a few of the girls, who of course head to the ladies’ room. When they each emerge, they come out giggling and being sort of secretive about something and acting somewhat suspiciously. During the first hour or so of the movie, they rotate between boys heading to the men’s room and girls to the ladies’ room, making two or three trips each. 

The usher, now really suspicious, approaches me while I’m at the concession stand.

Usher: *To me* “Something’s going on with that group of teens. I’m going into the men’s room to check it out. Can you stand by the door and make sure no one comes in for just a minute or two while I take a quick look?”

Me: “Oh, sure. No problem.”

He goes into the men’s room and checks around. Being an older theatre, the toilets are all the old style that have the water tanks on the back of the toilet bowl. He takes the lid off one and finds two partially empty six-packs of beer in the toilet. He checks the other three, and they all have six-packs hidden in the bowl, two with one or two beers gone; the other two are still full six-packs.

He comes out and shows me what he found. I take the beer to the office and leave it in a refrigerator we have in there. He grabs a woman from the office to check the ladies’ room and has her check to ensure there’s nobody in there.

Given the all-clear, he checks the toilets in there and finds essentially the same thing. Again, he removes the beer and puts it in the office refrigerator. We then wait to see what happens.

A few minutes later, three of the girls come out, head to the ladies’ room. A minute or so later, they come running out, whispering to each other with a confused look on their faces, and quickly head back to their seats. They come back with two of the boys who head to the men’s room. We overhear them saying things in a whisper, like:

Boys: “What do you mean? Are you sure? It’s missing? How could it be gone? How can that be?”

They have the girls go in and check the ladies’ room again. Moments later, the boys come running, just as the other girls show up from the theatre, apparently wondering what’s up. The boys run back into the theatre, and then the other boys now also head to the men’s room, while the girls who just came out from the theater head into the ladies’ room.

Both groups come out from their respective restrooms and they all head back to their seats. My friend, the older usher, goes in and watches them from the back of the darkened theater. They are all whispering trying to figure out what the heck happened to their beer!

Just then, it seems that the oldest boy and the oldest girl apparently think something’s up, like perhaps the rest are putting them on or whatever, so they get up, and each goes into their respective restroom. They emerge moments later, with very confused looks on their faces, realizing that all their beer has somehow disappeared! They stand outside in the hallway where the restrooms are located, whispering to each other about what could possibly have happened. After a minute or two, they go back to their seats and finish watching the movie, which ends just over an hour later.

When the movie ends, the whole group is walking past us in the lobby, and we hear them talking among themselves:

Teens: “I don’t get it.” “Where could it go?” “Do you suppose that jerk from school took it?” “I don’t think so; I didn’t see him here tonight.” “You didn’t believe me when I told you it was gone, did you?” “Well, it was so weird. I don’t get it…”

And so on.

They continue this chatter for a few seconds. Just as they are passing the older usher, he gives them an enthusiastic wave and shouts out to them:

Usher: “Thanks for all the beer, kids!”

The look on the teenagers’ faces was priceless as they all turned to look at him, realized that we’d found their “secret” stash of beer, and skedaddled out the door!

We didn’t bother calling the police, since we’d confiscated their beer and didn’t feel like dealing with it, which would have entailed staying until well after midnight, for sure. We just got a big kick out of it and laughed about it for months afterward! The five of us staff members all had a couple of beers each after our shifts ended that night and left the rest for another night. We never had that issue again, but from then on, we would check for hidden beer whenever we had a group of teens attending a movie.

Pure Crappy Entitlement

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2021

Our theater is located in a plaza with a large retailer that’s open twenty-four-seven. However, we close every night. It’s about midnight, and we’re waiting on the last show to get out so we can clean the theater and leave. There are only two people in it: a couple. The movie lets out, we clean it in record time, and we head out to the lobby to clock out. It’s just me, a coworker, and a manager who has been there since 10:00 am working a double shift. However, the couple is just sort of… standing around in the lobby.

After waiting about five minutes for them to leave so we can all go, my manager walks up to them.

Manager: “Hey there. I hate to do this to you, but we’re closed for the night and are about to leave, so I’m gonna have to ask you to head out.”

Man: “I can’t do that! I called a cab and they said it was going to be about an hour and a half! I need to wait in the lobby!”

Manager: “Sir… I apologize, but I can’t wait here an extra hour and a half, nor am I going to make my staff wait that long to go home. There’s a twenty-four-hour store right next door in the plaza. May I suggest you wait there?”

Man: “I ain’t moving!”

Manager: “Again, sir, we’re closed. I need you to leave.”

Man: “Pfft! Fine! I’m using the bathroom first, though!”

Manager: “That’s fine.”

The man goes into the bathroom and is in there for a solid ten or fifteen minutes. We get royally annoyed because we think he’s going to try and wait there for the entire ninety minutes, but he eventually comes out, gives us the biggest crap-eating smirk I’ve ever seen, and leaves with his girlfriend.

Manager: “[My Name], check the bathroom. I didn’t like that look he just gave you.”

I headed into the bathroom and was greeted by a horror show. He had gone into the final stall — the handicapped accessible stall — and used his underwear to smear feces all over the toilet and wall. His dirty underwear was also wound around the toilet handle. I literally could not believe it; the guy had to be in his forties, and this was how he acted. I headed out and told my manager, and we were forced to stay an extra thirty minutes to clean up the mess the guy had left. And that’s yet another reason why I hate people.

Into The Stupid-verse

, , , , , | Right | November 11, 2021

The movie “Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse” is out in theaters. If you’ve seen the movie, you know it has a very unique art style and plays around with different types of animation and effects. One of the tricks they use in the background in some scenes is a “doubled image” effect that ALMOST looks like you’re watching a 3D movie without glasses on. It’s to mimic old comic printing and the way it sometimes wouldn’t line up properly, thus creating a double-image. It’s a stylistic choice the filmmakers chose to use and was intentionally done. However, with nearly every 2D showtime we play, at least one person sees the effect and comes out and complains because they think we sold them a ticket to a 3D show.

Customer: *Storming up to box office register* “I didn’t want a g**d*** 3D movie!”

Me: “I apologize. What movie were you in?”

Customer: “The 2:30 Spider-Man!”

Me: “Well, sir, that looks like it was a 2D showtime and not a 3D one.”

Customer: “Bulls***! I could see plain as day that it was in 3D! There were two images onscreen!”

Me: “Sir, I think I know what the problem is. Some scenes have a double-image effect added to emulate old comic-printing techniques. Trust me, it’s supposed to look like that, even in 2D.”

Customer: “That’s f****** stupid! You’re just making that up, you p***k!”

Me: “Okay, lemme check it for you.”

It’s a slow day, so I grab a pair of 3D glasses and go into the theater and check the screen a few times. I’m a huge Spider-Man fan and have seen the movie several times in both 3D and 2D, so I know what to look for. And, lo and behold, it’s definitely the 2D version.

Me: *Returning to the box office* “Sir, I just checked. Trust me, that’s the 2D version. The double-image is a stylistic choice.”

Customer: “No! You listen here, a**hole! You sold me tickets to a 3D showtime! I know you did! Give me my f****** money back, now!”

Me: “If you insist.”

I refunded him and he left. Most people actually calmed down and believed us when we informed them it was supposed to look like that, but for some reason, this guy decided I was an a**hole and just had to have deceived him.