Because of the health and safety lockdowns, my company has all the stores reduce their hours and have one person working the day unless it’s delivery day. The reduced hours are posted along with guidelines for shopping in the stores: no more than ten people in the store at any given point, only touch what you’re going to buy, etc.

I am sweeping the entryway and the sidewalk to get rid of debris. The store has been open for half an hour at that point, so all lights are on, the door is unlocked, and the cash register is open. Customers see me open the store door after I am done sweeping and come over. They read the sign in its entirety and then proceed to open the door. What’s the first thing that they ask?

Customer: “Hey, so, are you guys open?”

Huge mental head-desk followed, along with several other people who did the exact same thing. This is going to be a long couple of weeks.

I work at an Italian restaurant that takes orders to-go. We write the names of people on their receipts, which are kept at the front desk. A customer walks in.

Customer #1: “I would like to pick up a to-go for [Name #1].”

I check the receipts and do not see his name, but I find one with a similar name that is one letter off. Sometimes we write names down incorrectly over phone orders, so I pick up the receipt and decide to verify his order to be sure whether or not it is his.

Me: “Okay, [Name #1]. I couldn’t find a receipt with your name anywhere, but I have this one for [Name #2]. Let me verify the order with you to see if it’s yours because it could actually be for someone else.”

I read the order to the customer, who seems to be staring blankly in the distance. I barely finish asking him if the order sounds correct to him when he shoves his credit card at me. I hand it to the to-go person for processing. Another customer walks in.

Customer #2: “To-go for [Name #2], please.”

Me: *Getting suspicious* “We do not appear to have your receipt right now. What was in your order?”

[Customer #2] describes exactly what I just gave the other man, who is still sitting in the lobby with the bag of food. The whole host staff, including the to-go person is in a frenzy of confusion because we seem to have two people with the “same” name and the same order, but only one actually exists. As we are dealing with both customers during the panic, [Customer #1] finally speaks up after over five minutes.

Customer #1: “You know, the order may be under my wife’s name, [Name #3].”

I check the receipts and find it there. I read off [Name #3]’s much longer order.

Customer #1: “Yeah, that has to be my order. Sorry about that.”

We process his payment again and hand him a much larger bag of food.

Customer #1: “This is better. I was wondering why you gave me such a small order. And what was in it didn’t even sound right!”

Me: “Would you like paper or plastic bags today?”

The customer immediately slides their credit card through the machine.

Customer: “Credit.”

(I go to order lunch from a fast food franchise at the mall. It’s midweek so it’s not busy at all. There’s one person ordering when I approach. When it’s my turn, this happens. Mind you, I speak loudly and clearly.)

Employee: “Hello, what can I get you?”

Me: “Hi! I’d like a [signature burger] without cheese and without pickles, please.”

Employee: “Okay, so, one burger, no onions, no pickles.”

Me: “Umm… Actually, it’s no cheese, no pickles.”

(I smile politely and he smiles back.)

Employee: *cheerfully* “Okay! So, no cheese, no onions.” 

Me: *super loud in case he has trouble hearing* “I want onions. Just without cheese and without pickles, please.”

Employee: *super confident* “Okay! One burger with extra cheese and no onions.”

Me: *blinks, wonders if he’s kidding* “No, no… No cheese, no pickles, with onions.”

Employee: “Oh, okay. No cheese, no onio– Umm, no pickles. Is that right? No cheese, no pickles?”

Me: *relieved* “Yesssss! That’s right! Thank you!”

(I paid and waited for my meal. Guess who got cheese on their burger?!)

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All the libraries are closed due to government health guidelines, including locking the book drops since infection can survive on surfaces. Staff are still allowed in to do work like weeding, shifting, etc., but we just got word today that we’re to not return until further notice.

I’m sitting near the book drop — which is built into the building — trying to figure out my telecommuting schedule, when I hear someone trying to open the book drop. There are about five signs in different languages taped OVER it.

Woman’s Voice: “I can’t even open it manually!”

She tries again and laughs nastily.

Woman’s Voice: “Rude!”

When I looked outside before we left, I saw five boxes and at least one bag of books sitting on the ground.