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Or… You Could Just Not Be An A**hole?

, , , , | Right | May 20, 2020

I sell items online. I can’t give a fixed price since I do retail and wholesale. I created a WhatsApp group so that my customers can see all my items at once instead of sending pics individually. One of my customers asks me on the group, “How much is this?” A BRILLIANT customer pops up out of nowhere and starts giving him the wrong prices.

Me: “Kindly don’t chat in the group so we don’t annoy other customers. Please text me in private.”

The brilliant customer keeps on giving the wrong prices for my items. I text him in private.

Me: “Kindly be polite.”

Brilliant Customer: “It’s a stupid way to sell. Put a price on each item to fix the price so no one will do what I did to you.”

Is Anyone Else Craving Cheese And Pickles?

, , , | Working | April 27, 2020

(I go to order lunch from a fast food franchise at the mall. It’s midweek so it’s not busy at all. There’s one person ordering when I approach. When it’s my turn, this happens. Mind you, I speak loudly and clearly.)

Employee: “Hello, what can I get you?”

Me: “Hi! I’d like a [signature burger] without cheese and without pickles, please.”

Employee: “Okay, so, one burger, no onions, no pickles.”

Me: “Umm… Actually, it’s no cheese, no pickles.”

(I smile politely and he smiles back.)

Employee: *cheerfully* “Okay! So, no cheese, no onions.” 

Me: *super loud in case he has trouble hearing* “I want onions. Just without cheese and without pickles, please.”

Employee: *super confident* “Okay! One burger with extra cheese and no onions.”

Me: *blinks, wonders if he’s kidding* “No, no… No cheese, no pickles, with onions.”

Employee: “Oh, okay. No cheese, no onio– Umm, no pickles. Is that right? No cheese, no pickles?”

Me: *relieved* “Yesssss! That’s right! Thank you!”

(I paid and waited for my meal. Guess who got cheese on their burger?!)


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Pretty Rich Coming From The City That Has An Atlantis

, , , | Right | April 10, 2020

(I work for a huge hotel company that has hotels around the world; in particular, we have a few beside the beach. However, since I started this job and have been answering the phone for reservations I have gotten this question every week.)

Guest: “Is [Hotel] Beach Hotel beside the beach?”

(Please note that the hotel could only be closer to the beach if it was in the ocean and this is evident through the website and the name.)

A Fairy Accurate Assessment

, , , , | Hopeless | May 7, 2019

My fiance and I are planning to elope and although I want to wear a nice dress, I don’t want to go all out and spend a significant amount on a branded wedding dress. I go online and find a nice, white maxi dress with some sparkles on it that is within my budget, and when it arrives it fits well but is slightly too long. Not an issue; I just go to the tailor to get it shortened.

The tailor I find is in the mall and they ask me to put on the dress so they can pin it. When I step out of the changing room, I see a little girl — maybe four or five years old — stopping right in front of the shop, tugging at her mum’s shirt with eyes wide open exclaiming, “Mummy, look! It’s a FAIRY!”

It absolutely made my day and made me smile extra wide on my wedding day!

They Got You Covered From A To Zulu

, , , , , , , | Friendly | May 6, 2019

(My husband and I are on holiday. We’re considered an uncommon interracial couple. We’re both South African, but I’m ethnically Pakistani and he’s a Zulu man. We’re on holiday in Dubai and we’re at a theme park known for its fast rides. It’s a bit of a busy day so we’re waiting in line. There have been a lot of queue jumpers today and we’re getting fed up. Just behind us are two Indian girls. As the line moves, we notice the girls are slowly inching closer and closer into our personal space, to the point where they’re actually moving around us and trying to get ahead in the queue. This pisses me off since I hate line jumpers, but I’m a bit of a pushover so I don’t confront them. I just give them a dirty look. Soon, the girls start speaking in Hindi, not realising that I’m Pakistani and fluent in Urdu — our language — which is very similar to Hindi.)

Girl #1: “What are they doing?”

Girl #2: “I don’t know. Look at that girl looking at us.”

Girl #1: “She looks crazy. Is she with the black guy?”

Girl #2: “Looks like it. Weird.”

(They say a few more sentences which I don’t catch because my glare is getting more intense, and I finally decide to speak up. I speak to them in Urdu.)

Me: “Hey, you girls are being incredibly rude. We’re all waiting in this line and I don’t know what you think of yourselves that you can cut past us.”

(Both girls look shocked and start to make excuses.)

Girl #2: “We’re not trying to cut in line, but fine, you go ahead of us.”

(The line moved forward a few steps and they got a little behind us. Coincidentally, the theme park that we were at employs a lot of South Africans and we’d been greeting our fellow countrymen the whole day, whenever we heard the accents. As we neared the front of the queue, the girls were starting their old tricks again and they’d managed to move a little ahead of us. One of the men running the ride turned out to be Zulu and my husband spoke to him in Zulu quite enthusiastically. The man asked how things were going and my husband replied that things were pretty good, except for the queue jumpers. The girls’ faces blanched and they started to look scared, even though neither of them could understand Zulu — the words “queue jumpers” were said in English. My husband isn’t the type to be petty, but being South African had been a huge advantage to us since the staff were usually nicer and more accommodating for us. Anyway, when they needed two people to fill the next ride, those girls were purposefully ignored by the attendant and we went in first. Even though it was something small, karma felt good.)