(My grandmother’s friends come into the room and sit down next to me.)

Male Friend: “How are you doing, [My Name]?”

Me: “Okay.”

Male Friend: “Just okay? Not fabulous? Not superb? Not fantastic?”

(I turn and look at my grandmother, who is laying in a hospital bed on life support and is predicted to pass sometime in the next 24 hours.)

Me: “Well, maybe if circumstances were different, I’d be more than okay.”

Male Friend: *stiffly* “Well, you should be using other adjectives than ‘okay.’”

(I’m five-foot-zero and my best friend is five-foot-eight. I’m also very peaceful and try to avoid any and all conflict. A speaker/instructor has been brought in to our gym class to teach us some basic self-defense. One of the things he teaches us to do is scream, “NO!” We go through a rotation to practice, yelling included. I take my turn and get to the back of the line to find my friend laughing.)

Me: “What’s so funny?”

Friend: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m just not used to you screaming and being violent! You’re so small!”

Me: “I am three ounces of pure rage!”

(My best friend is questioning bisexuality. I am asexual. We are both female. This happens over text.)

Friend: “I’m gonna take a shower, babe.”

Friend: “BRB! I SWEAR I TYPED BRB!”

Me: *laughing*

Friend: “Oh, my gosh, even my phone thinks I’m a lesbian!”

(I have rather odd taste in music. I’m packing dinner kits at church with a group of friends and we’re discussing music as we put together the kits. Most of us favor pop or country music.)

Me: “I’ve been really into [Band] lately.”

Friend #1: “Cool, what genre are they?”

Me: “Christian Canadian punk rock.”

Friend #1: “What?”

Me: “Christian Canadian punk rock.”

Friend #2: “Those words do not go together!”

(I’ve always been fairly geeky, so I’m naturally excited when my school announces that they’re starting a video-gaming club. On the day of the first meeting, I’m a bit nervous, since I’m worried that I’ll be the only girl there. When I walk in, I make eye contact with another girl, sitting with two others, who looks just as shocked to see me as I am to see her.)

Girl: “FRIEND!”

Me: “More females! MY PEOPLE!”

(About fifty boys showed up, and the adults in charge were all men, but we ended up having six girls in the club.)