(I usually work in the drive-thru of our store.  At least once a day, often twice, a regular customer comes through. We all recognise her car.  She has a chihuahua that sits on her lap that snaps at us whenever we reach near the car.)

Coworker: “It’s her again. Please, will you hand out her coffee? I’m so scared of that dog!”

(I walk to the window and hold the regular’s food out, but far enough from her car that the dog can’t get close to me.)

Me: “Good morning!  Here’s your food, and I’ll just grab your coffee. ”

(I hold out the coffee, again further away from her car than normal. Suddenly, the dog lunges and almost bites my hand. I accidentally drop the coffee as I jump back, away from her and the dog.)

Customer: *to her dog* “My poor darling, my baby! Oh, are you okay? Did the mean lady scare you? Did she burn you with the hot coffee?” *to me* “If you burnt my dog, I’ll get your stupid a** fired!”

Me: “I’m very sorry. I’ll replace your coffee right away, but just a suggestion: perhaps this wouldn’t happen if you sat your dog in the passenger’s seat?”

Customer: “The nerve you have, thinking you know how to look after my precious little pumpkin! She’s MY dog, not yours! MUMMA KNOWS WHAT’S BEST!”

(I quickly grab the coffee, and hold it as far away from her and the dog as I can.)

Customer: *snatches her drink and drives off*

Coworker: *to me* “Sorry!”

(I’m working the drive-thru.)

Coworker: “Hey, ask this next guy how his mom’s doing.”

Me: “Uh, okay…” *to customer* “Hey, how’s your mom doing?”

Customer: “She’s in f***ing jail! Thanks for asking!”

(The customer drives from the intercom to my window, pulls down his pants, shakes his butt at us, and then drives away. The next customer in line pulls up.)

Next Customer: “What the H*** was that?!”

(It’s about 10 at night, and I stop at a drive-thru for a late dinner. There are no cars behind me in line, so I take a few moments to examine the new items on the menu.)

Me: “Could I have a few seconds to look at the menu?”

Employee #1: *via the drive-thru intercom* “Lady, just order already!”

Me: “Fine…” *I place an order and pull up*

Employee #1: “You really should keep your f****** a** going to keep the line moving.”

Me: “There was no one else here. No one was behind me.”

Employee #1: *shrugs and waves me forward*

(As I pull forward to get my food, I complain to the girl with my order.)

Employee #2: *sighs* “Yeah, you’re the third person to complain tonight. He’s the manager’s son, so I don’t think anything’s going to be done about it…”

(I never went to that particular franchise again.)

(I am ordering at the drive-thru window at a fast food chain.)

Me: “I’d like a number 4 with a Pepsi.”

Employee: “Would you like a drink with that?”

Me: “Yes, a Pepsi.”

Employee: “Well, what would you like?”

Me: “A Pepsi.”

Employee: “What do you want to drink?!”

Me: “A Pepsi!”

Employee: “No, what do you want to… ooohh!”

(I am really thirsty on my way home from work one day, so I decide to go to the drive-thru of a well-known fast food restaurant.)

Employee: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Me: “Hi, I would like a large Sprite. That is all.”

Employee: “Okay, your total is $2.50 at the second window.”

(I drive up to the window and I notice that the employee is a cute girl with black hair.)

Employee: “Hi, that will be $2.50, please. What sauces do you want with your drink?”

(I look at her in disbelief. After a couple of seconds, she realizes what she said.)

Employee: “F***! I thought dying my hair black would get rid of those stupid blonde moments!”