I work at my local police department. A man had his car towed after leaving it in a No Parking zone.

He came into the police station having a fit.

Man: “You had no right to tow my car! I know the Chief, and I’m friends with the mayor! I’m going to have you all fired! I’m going to sue this department! In fact, I’m going to sue the whole city!”

And so on.

He was making such a racket that an officer who was dropping off paperwork came out to see what was going on. He immediately recognized the man — who he knew had a warrant for his arrest. Instead of getting his car back, the guy got an all-expense paid weekend at the lovely county bed and breakfast — aka jail.

I love Karma.

I was a front desk manager at my hotel. To make a very long story short, some guests were caught using fraudulent credit cards — among other things, apparently, though the cards were what I knew about for sure — and were intercepted trying to leave the hotel by police. (It was a LOT of stolen cards.)

I was relieved to see them go, as they had been a pain in my rear because we wouldn’t allow them to order from the restaurant when their card was declined, and they claimed we were discriminating against them for being a same-sex couple. (Half of the front desk staff was part of the LGBT+ community.) It was a whole production getting them finally caught, but the most ridiculous part to me was the woman who stormed up to the desk as the men were being questioned outside.

Guest: *In the most offended tone you can imagine* “Ex-cuse me! Could someone explain to me why there are people getting arrested outside this hotel?”

I was already fried from dealing with the couple so, admittedly, my response was somewhat less than tactful.

Me: “…I’m sorry, ma’am, would you prefer they hadn’t been caught?”

Luckily, she just huffed and stomped off, apparently not having a response to that. Sorry, people, there’s no criminal repellent we can spray to keep every single shady guest away. We can only do something about them once they’re here!

Bonus post-script: the couple that was arrested had the gall to post a negative review online, in which they claimed that the hotel had called the police on them with absolutely no evidence and that they had been released without charges because they had done nothing wrong. (We didn’t even call the police; the owner of one of the stolen cards did.)

The next day, there was a news spot aired about how the couple had, in fact, been charged with a rather extensive list of crimes.

It is almost closing time, and I am about to take some rubbish out to the dock while my manager is starting on the closing duties, which include counting and removing the cash from the tills.

Manager: “On your way out the back, could you check around for a man and a kid? If you see them, let them know we’re about to close. They came in a few minutes ago while I was on the phone.”

I don’t see them, so I continue to put the rubbish out and do a couple more things before I hear the manager announce that the store is closed. As I leave the dock, I see the man and girl coming around a fixture with their back to me. They both are craning their necks as if they are trying to see down to the counter area. The man suddenly crouches and ducks into an aisle, with the girl following behind doing the same.

I slam the door with a loud bang.

Me: “Hi. Just letting you know we’re closed. If you have any purchases, please take them to the counter.”

They are both startled, look at me wide-eyed, stand up, and start heading to the front of the store. I go through the centre of the store, keeping an eye on them from a safe distance. I run to the door after they rush out to close and lock it.

Manager: “What was that? It looked like you were chasing them out. What did you do to them? They looked terrified!”

Me: “They were trying to hide down the back. I scared them when I came out of the dock, and they took off.”

Manager: “Why would they hide?”

Me: “They probably thought you were alone.”

Manager: “But why hide? I don’t understand.”

I point to the bags of cash she’s putting into a satchel. She looks down and then looks up.

Manager: “No way. That can’t be right. You’re too suspicious.”

I shrugged but pointed out that they had been positioning themselves in the perfect spot to hide near the door through which she would be taking the money. She looked wide-eyed as it clicked.

I stopped working there not long after. [Manager] lasted until the head office started trying to force her to work in the store for hours on her own. The area was too dangerous for anyone to work alone.

I work at a call center for a company that installs security systems, and part of the job of customer service is taking calls from customers who have canceled their services and making sure the appointment to remove our equipment is scheduled.

This customer is quite clearly irate and is talking in a way that, for lack of a better term, sounds fidgety. Pulling up his account, I see that he’s canceled and is awaiting the appointment to remove the equipment.

Me: “All right, it looks like your appointment is scheduled for [date] between [time #1] and [time #2]. Is there anything I can help with regarding that?”

Customer: “You guys aren’t gonna send out the same person who put this stuff in.”

I cannot stress enough that this is not a question. The customer says, flat-out, that we are not going to send out the same person. I was told during my training that often the branches do send out the same person who put in the equipment to take it out, since they know where everything is and how it’s set up, etc., but sometimes due to scheduling, they can’t, and since I’m hundreds of miles away in a call center, I can’t promise either way.

Me: “Which specific technician is sent is handled by the local branch, so I’m not able to advise—”

Customer: “You send back that same guy, he’s gonna be leaving in a f****** body bag, you get me?”

I’m stunned. I am still pretty new, and while we’ve been told that customers can be rude and that we can hang up on customers swearing at us or using abusive language, etc., we have certainly not been given instruction on how to handle threats of violence against employees!

I’m very thankful that I’m quick on my feet; I quickly write down the call identifier (a number the managers can use to review call recordings) and respond after perhaps missing one beat.

Me: “I’m sure you realize that I’ll need to report this threat to my management?”

Customer: “Yeah, you do that.” *Hangs up*

As soon as he hangs up, I make sure I am out of the queue so another call won’t come through to me and speed-walk over to my manager’s desk.

Manager: “What’s up, [My Name]? You look awful worked up.”

Me: *Handing him my note* “Yeah, well, this guy just threatened that if the same tech who installed his stuff comes back to take it out, he’ll be — and I quote — ‘leaving in a f****** body bag.’ Here’s the call number.”

Manager: “Well, that’s a new one for me. I’ll contact the local branch’s manager. Don’t worry; they’ll be fine.”

Me: “Yeah, but even if it’s not the same tech, if this guy’s the type to make threats like that, I’d still be worried.”

Manager: “[My Name], we’re a security company. We get along really well with the police. The manager of the branch will probably get a police escort for any tech that goes out there and might even go out there personally to make sure everybody’s safe if he’s not already booked for appointments.”

Hearing that did make me feel a lot better about the whole situation. If anything, I find it kind of funny that I almost forgot what the company I worked for did.

I didn’t end up hearing back anything after this conversation, but I take that as a sign that nothing came of the threat. Hopefully, that guy got at least a very stern talking-to from some police officers about making threats!

In the UK, it is the law that if you have a vehicle taxed for road use, then the vehicle must be insured for road use. All vehicle tax and registration are managed by the DVLA (Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency), and there is also the Motor Insurance Database (MID) that has every UK-insured vehicle on it.

This is not a closely-guarded secret; you can literally go to a website and pop your vehicle registration in and it’ll flag if it’s insured or not. There is also something called SORN (Statutory Off Road Notification); if you intend to not have your vehicle insured or use it on the road, you need to go to the DVLA and get it SORN’d

I work in vehicle insurance. The plus side is that whilst we need to have good customer service, we don’t have to be nice to clients due to the nature of what we do. This client has called to cancel his insurance. He has me on speakerphone, so I can hear a lot. He’s also been pretty rude and difficult so far, getting snappy at me regarding DPA and stuff we have to do by law.

Me: “So, why are you looking to cancel the insurance?”

Client: “It’s winter, idiot. I’m not gonna ride it.”

Me: “Have you had it SORN’d?”

Client: “Nah, don’t see the point.”

Me: “I need to make you aware: if your vehicle is taxed for road use and you do not have insurance, the DVLA could fine you up to £1,000, and the vehicle can also be seized and even destroyed by police. I would recommend getting your vehicle SORN’d as soon as you cancel the insurance; you can do it on the government website and it’s free.”

Client: “How would they know it’s not insured?”

Guy In The Background: “It’s called askMID.”

Client: *To the guy* “Shut it, mate.”

Me: “As your friend has advised, there is the Motor Insurance Database run by the Motor Insurance Bureau, which the police and the DVLA use to verify if a vehicle has insurance.”

Client: “Well, how are they gonna know the reg if they can’t see it? It’s gonna be in the garage. Suck on that, sugar t*ts.”

Me: *Dryly* “The DVLA are the ones who gave it the registration plate. They’re the ones that issued you the V5. If it’s UK registered, the DVLA knows the registration, make, model, colour, etc. of the vehicle, who owns the vehicle, and where that person lives. You could take it to Timbuktu if you really wanted to, but if it’s registered and taxed for UK road use, the DVLA is going to be able to find out if it’s insured. You don’t have to SORN the vehicle, but again, it’s free, and if they do decide to check it, you could lose out on up to £1,000.”

There’s a rather awkward silence.

Guy In The Background: “I went on holiday to Timbuktu.”

Client: “Shut up, mate! And… I’ll… uh… get it SORN’d.”

Me: “Lovely. Let’s get that cancellation calculated. I’ll just pop you on hold.”

Guy In The Background: “She ain’t gonna do anything to try and get you a discount on the cancellation after you called her ‘sugar t*ts’.”

Client: “Shut it—”

At that point, I put the client on hold. And yes, I left the cancellation fees at full costs; we can choose to waive them at our discretion, though it does reflect on our scores if we go under a certain amount on average.