(I just started working at a computer store, so my trainer has a phone call on speaker so I can listen in.)
Lady: “You sold me a faulty piece of s*** laptop!”
Trainer: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”
Lady: “The f****** thing won’t open!”
Trainer: “Have you tried turning the laptop around, and opening it from the other side?”
Lady: “Oh.” *click*
(Working in a popular electronics store set in between an extremely rural area and a sprawling urban landscape, we get all types…)
Customer: “Y’all got dem thirty-two jiggabit touchee pods?”
Me: “Thanks for your purchase. Would you please sign anywhere on the receipt?”
Customer: “Anywhere?”
Me: “Anywhere.”
Customer: “But there’s no line!”
Me: “That’s right; the printer doesn’t draw a line for this type of receipt, so just sign anywhere on the receipt.”
Customer: “Anywhere?”
Me: “Anywhere.”
Customer: “But there’s no LINE!”
Me: *facepalm*
This story is part of our Crazy Checkout Encounters roundup!
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(A man on his mid-forties shoves a DVD case on the counter, while yelling at me. Keep in mind that I’m wearing glasses.)
Customer: “This DVD doesn’t work, G** D***it! I want a refund!”
Me: “Okay… what seems to be the problem?”
Customer: “I don’t know, it doesn’t work!”
(I open the case and check the surface of the DVD. It was so scratched that it was nearly white instead of purple, and it even had a dry fingerprint of something that looked like peanut butter.)
Me: “Um… sir?”
Customer: “WHAT?!”
Me: “I can’t give you a refund for a product that has been damaged by the customer.”
Customer: What?! The disc is fine! I want a refund!”
Me: “Sir, the disc is damaged, and I cannot give you a refund.”
Customer: “I want to speak to the manager!”
Me: “Of course.”
(I walk away to the back of the store, take off my glasses, and walk to the counter again.)
Me: “Yes, what is the problem?”
Customer: “YOUR POOR EXCUSE FOR A SALESMAN WON’T–”
(He suddenly figures it out.)
Customer: “F*** THIS S***!” *continues swearing while he storms out of the store*
This story is part of the Awesome Manager roundup!
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(I have been ringing up a customer’s purchases on the register and am just about to put through his credit card for payment.)
Me: “Sir, just sign here please.”
Customer: “No, I don’t sign.”
Me: “You have to sign so that your credit card is verified; it shows you paid for it and not someone else.”
Customer: “No, I don’t want to sign. Forget about it all, goodbye!”
(The customer leaves his purchases on the counter which he’s just paid for; the electronic system isn’t actually activated by a signature. It goes through automatically; the signature is just a formality.)
Me: “Wait, where are you going? You just paid for this stuff! Are you going to leave it here? Hey!”
(The customer exits the store, and my manager motions for me to follow, with a big mean smile on his face. I sigh and run after the customer.)
Me: “Excuse me! Excuse me, you can’t just leave that stuff there. You need to come back and claim it or we’ll refund it for you.”
Customer: “Why are you following me? What’s wrong with you? Leave me alone. I told you I didn’t want to sign anything!”
Me: “I’m not going to chase you all over the city, but you should know you’ve got things in there you just paid for. You’re down $120 if you leave them there.”
Customer: “But I didn’t sign.”
Me: “It doesn’t matter if you signed anything; your purchase still went through. Now are you going to come back and get your money or your items, or are you happy with donating $120 to our store?”
Customer: “You’re crazy! I didn’t sign anything so I didn’t pay. You’re just trying to get me back there so I’ll buy more stuff! Leave me alone!”
(I decide to give it up since it’s clear this person isn’t going to listen to me; he’s convinced I’m trying to rip him off while, in fact, I’m doing the opposite…)
Me: “Suit yourself, then. Thanks for the $120.”
(Sure enough, three days later, the customer returned, angry about the store stealing money from him when he didn’t make a purchase. I rolled my eyes and left him for someone else to deal with. He was still yelling that he hadn’t signed anything.)
