I work for a local auto group that has several stores in our metro area. Each store has its different new vehicles that they sell, but if need be, we can sell a pre-owned vehicle at another store owned by our auto group. Our stores are all several miles apart.

A customer has come in with a one-year-old car that has been damaged in an accident. She is considering trading the car in. We appraise the vehicle in its current condition and will give her a decent amount for the trade, considering the damage and the number of miles she’s racked up.

Me: “Okay, we’ll give you [price] for your car, trading it in on something here. As you can see, even the [corporate] trade-in value for your car, without the damage but due to mileage, is what we’re offering, since you’ve put three years of miles on a car within one year, causing it to depreciate.”

Customer: “That’s okay; I don’t want another of [Our Brand]. I was looking for a [Other Brand] car in a hybrid. One of your people said you could sell me one if I find it.”

Me: “Certainly, if it’s one of our other stores. Have you found one on the Internet at one of those locations?”

Customer: “No, but why can’t you just go over there with me?”

Me: “Well, I don’t know their inventory off the top of my head like I do ours, since we’re all miles apart. I can use our internal vehicle locator to see if we have one, though, since one of our stores is the brand you want.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

Me: “Okay, so as you can see, there are seven cars in the model you want but only one that’s a hybrid.”

Customer: “Okay, so can we walk out and go look at this one to see if I like it?”

Me: “This is at our [Other Brand] store. It’s about ten miles from here, but I can call them to see if it’s sold and if not, if I can show it to you, and if you want, we can take something over there for you to look at it.”

Customer: “But I also want [Different Model] in a hybrid. Do you have any of those?”

Me: “Let me look. No, the [Other Brand] store of ours has some of those new, but nothing pre-owned.”

Customer: “Oh, look, here’s one.”

She’s been playing on her phone while I’ve been working on the computer.

Customer: “Can you show me this one?”

Me: “Well, that’s not one of our stores.”

Not only is it another brand, but it’s a store owned by another auto group.

Me: “I have no ability to do that.”

Customer: “Well, aren’t you a car salesman? I’ve never heard of anything so silly as a salesman not wanting to sell a car.”

Me: “And since I don’t work for [Other Auto Group], how exactly could I do that?”

Related:
Sale Fail, Part 5
Sale Fail, Part 4
Sale Fail, Part 3
Sale Fail, Part 2
Sale Fail

Around twenty years ago, my dad is test-driving a new pickup truck, and the driver’s side mirror falls off. This dealership is running a deal where, if you fill out a customer satisfaction survey and give them five stars, you get a free oil change. My dad doesn’t care about the free oil change because he changes the oil himself. He buys the truck and fills out a survey, and he DOESN’T give them five stars.

As he is leaving the dealership, the salesman comes running after him, waving the survey he just filled out.

Salesman: “Sir! Wait! Sir! You didn’t give us a five-star rating! Don’t you want your free oil change?!”

Dad: “No! I don’t want your f****** free oil change! I told you the mirror fell off and you made no offer to have it fixed today!!

They wanted him to make an appointment to come back at a later date and have it fixed.

Dad: “You can take your five-star review and shove it where the sun don’t shine!”

Long story short, the dealership didn’t care that the mirror fell off. They only cared about how his non-five-star review would tarnish their reputation with potential customers and corporate. My dad fixed the mirror when he got home and never went back to that dealership.

Part of being a car salesman is that we get phone calls from people browsing the Internet, trying to find the cheapest deal anywhere.

Me: “Thanks for calling [Dealership]. How may I assist you today?”

Customer: “I was looking on the Internet and found a [car model] advertised at a dealership in Massachusetts for $26,000. Will you price match them?”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s so far outside our market area that it’s not even funny. I’m in Oklahoma. Where are you calling from, and what’s the name of that dealership?”

Customer: “I’m calling from Colorado. The dealerships here all have their [model] priced at $30,000 or more and I want one for $26,000 like [Massachusetts Dealer] has advertised.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m familiar with that dealership. If you scroll down on their page, you’ll see that they also say that to get the advertised price, you must trade in a 2005 or newer car. Then, if you look at their Google page, you’ll see that while they’ll sell you a car at such a low price, they will typically only give you $1,000 trade value for a $7,000 car.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to trade anything in. I just want you to give me that price. My local dealers won’t do it.”

Me: “Ma’am, since that price you want is more than $2,000 less than the invoice price of the [model], which is the hottest selling SUV on the market right now, how does it make any sense whatsoever for us to do this?”

Customer: “But I want it for $26,000.”

Me: “Good luck with that, ma’am. Have a nice day.”

I hung up then before I told her what I was really thinking, about people in a very hot place wanting ice water, too.

I work for a rather large group of dealerships. We answer the phones for fourteen dealerships and collision centers, plus our head office. I get a call on the head office line. It is important to note that each of our dealerships has service and parts departments that deal with specific types of cars.

Me: “Good afternoon, [head office]; [My Name] speaking.”

In the background, I hear a male voice say, “Parts,” followed by a closer, female voice.

Customer: “Um… parts… please?”

Me: “For which dealership?”

The caller asks someone on the other side, “Which dealership?”

Customer: “Um… It doesn’t… matter?”

At this point, my head is hitting my desk.

Me: “What kind of car do you have?”

Customer: “Ummm… Saturn?”

I screamed internally while I transferred them to the right dealership.

I work in the service department of a car dealership. I receive a call from an elderly customer.

Customer: “I need a repair for my roof. A garage door dropped on my car.”

Me: “Oh my, sorry to hear that. We can absolutely fix that for you. Would you like a cost estimate beforehand?”

Customer: “Why would I need that?”

Me: “Well, some people need one for the insurance company if someone else caused the damage, or they would want one for themselves if they have to pay. That’s up to you.”

Customer: “But you’re going to pay!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You have to do the repair work for free.”

Me: “I’m sorry but I don’t understand. Why should we work on your car for free?”

Customer: “You are a [Brand] dealership and I drive a [Brand] car.”

Me: “Sir, with all due respect, [Brand] is not responsible for this kind of damage to your car. I suggest you speak to the person who owns the garage.”

Customer: “But that’s my garage!”

Me: “Then I suggest you speak to the manufacturer of the garage door and ask them if they would like to pay for the damage.”

He did eventually pay for the repair himself, but it took us weeks to convince him that we were absolutely not responsible for a malfunction on his garage door.