I am taking an order in a Chinese restaurant. This is during the time when social media and the news were going hard on MSG and how it would give you a heart attack or cancer or something else. Asian food was particularly strongly targeted, even though MSG could be found in food across practically all cuisines.
Customer: “And make sure none of the items have any MSG! That stuff kills you!”
Me: “Some of our items are made with MSG as a flavor enhancer, but I can ask the kitchen if they can leave it out for you.”
Customer: “Good! I don’t want any artificial chemicals in my body!”
Me: “Would you like a drink?”
Customer: “Yes, diet Coke.”
Related:
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 10
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 9
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 8
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 7
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 6
Back in the early 1990s, two other male college freshmen and I were studying for an upcoming quiz for a chemistry class.
Student #1: “I’m really not feeling it. Think I should just skip the quiz entirely?”
Student #2: “Sodium hypobromite.”
Student #1: “What?”
I wrote out the chemical formula for sodium hypobromite: “NaBrO”.
Related:
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 9
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 8
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 7
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 6
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 5
(I live in a different state than my family. My father and little brother are traveling by car to visit my granny who lives in a different state. I have been texting my father, trying to find out if they have made it there safely. He has not answered, so I text my brother, and this is the conversation:)
Me: “Y’all there yet?”
Brother: “Not yet. We’re a little less than an hour away though.”
Me: “Potassium.”
Brother: “What?”
Me: “What is the chemical representation of potassium on the periodic table?”
Brother: “It’s ‘K.'”
Me: “Potassium.”
Brother: “Yes, potassium=’K.'”
Me: “So I asked if y’all are there yet. You said that you are almost there. I reply POTASSIUM.”
Brother: “I’m throwing you away.”
(An hour later:)
Brother: “We made it!”
Me: “Potassium.”
Brother: “I’m giving you away…”
(I think I just realized why my family calls me a nerd…)
(It’s game night with a bunch a friends. I’m wearing for the first time a shirt showing elements from the periodic table, which spell together ‘BaCoN’)
Friend: *observing the shirt* “What do you get when you mix Barium, Cobalt and Nitrogen?”
Me: “Well, you can get bacon.”
Friend: *in a sincere and amazed tone* “Really?!”
(My husband and I are cuddling in bed, trying to go to sleep, but I remember reading the ‘chemically imbalanced’ stories so I say it.)
Me: *in sing-song voice* “Sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium…”
Husband: *after a pause, still in sing-song* “NITRATE! Wait! I meant chloride. I have no idea what you’re doing.”
Related:
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 8
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 7
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 6
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 5
Chemically Imbalanced, Part 4
